


The Look in Her Eyes

by themoonandotherslikeit



Series: The Look in Her Eyes [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love, Pain, Romance, Sex, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-23 21:46:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 33
Words: 80,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18157424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonandotherslikeit/pseuds/themoonandotherslikeit
Summary: While on a case, Dean and Sam meet a beautiful woman, Ava. She makes a large impression on the brothers, and ends up convincing them to take her on the road with them. It isn't long before the shared experience, car rides, motel rooms, and risky cases pushes Ava and Dean together in an unlikely story of love, family, fate, and friendship.





	1. The Detective

Dean

I stepped into the bar, my dress shoes clicking on the floor. Even after all this time I still felt out of place in a monkey suit. I adjusted my tie awkwardly. I scanned the bar, looking for a local who may know more about the case Sammy, and I were working.

My eyes locked on a curvy pale woman with jet black hair that fell down her back in messy curls. _Jack pot_. I smoothed out my shirt and turned on the charm. "Excuse me, mam.“ I began, as I slid onto the bar stool next to her.

She looked up at me and met my eyes with icy blue ones. She looked about 25 years old. There was something calm about her. Maybe it was the way her left leg was tossed lazily over her right, or the way her hair tumbled down her neck."You’re excused.” She said flatly, turning back to her folder of papers in front of her.

I cleared my throat, trying again. “Mam, my name is Special Agent Carter. Can I ask you a few questions?”

This seemed to spark her interest. I wasn’t surprised, women found agents sexy. I’d caught a few with the title before. 

I saw her eyebrow twitch slightly. She shut her folder and ran her fingers along the cover. She moved her leg from her knee and titled her head to the side. “Special agent, huh? Can I see your badge?” She held out her hand, wiggling her fingers. 

I nodded and pulled the fake FBI badge out of the pocket in my jacket. She took it and seemed to over examine it.

“Agent Carter.” She looked up at me, pursing her lips. “You’re a little far away from home, aren’t you?”

“Yes mam.” I grinned at her. She kept ahold of my badge, and she smiled at me curiously.

“What brings you to my little town?”

“I’m looking into the suspicious deaths that have happened in this town.” I said, leaning closer to her. “I don’t suppose you knew anything about that?”

Her upper lip twitched slightly. “Why would I?”

“I don’t know, mam. That’s why I’m asking.” My eyebrows furrowed. She was making this difficult. “Listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

She laughed out loud. “You feds are so squirrelly. What? You’re not used to getting your way. Can’t intimidate a girl so you’re getting your panties in a bunch.” She handed me my badge back.

I raised an eyebrow. She was feisty. She was annoying. “Listen Miss…”

“That’s Detective Langston, to you, agent.” She said sliding out her own, very real badge.

I raised an eyebrow. “A little young for a detective.”

“I could say the same thing about you, agent.” Her jaw was tight. She was studying me. “I know for a fact my office didn’t call you down here. So why does DC have a concern about some missing locals?”

I narrowed my eyes, trying to play it cool. I hate it when they try to ask questions. _Just go with it, lady_. “Listen, sweetheart.”

“God, that’s just typical. Isn’t it? Sweetheart? Listen, you condescending asshat.” She stood up and pressed her index finger against my tie on my chest. “I want to speak to your supervisor, agent.”

I tried to avoid the urge to groan. _Poke me again, and I swear_. “You got it, Detective.” I reached into my jacket. “Call em.” I handed her my bogus card with Bobby’s number on it. He would bail me out. He always does. I leaned against the bar top, feeling awkward in my clothes. In my own skin.

She typed the number into her phone and paced back and forth as it rang.

I took this opportunity to study her. She wore tight black dress pants and high heels. She had a long sleeved maroon shirt that hugged her curves and a necklace that fell directly in her cleavage. Two perfect breasts. _Get it together, Dean. This woman is trying to bust you. Think with your right fucking head_. I tried to shake off the lust that was growing.

“Hello, my name is Detective Ava Langston with Clyde Hill PD in Washington.” She pursed her lips. “I’m calling about one of your agents.” She narrowed her eyes. “Uncle Bobby? Is that you?”

I stood up immediately, taken aback. _Uncle_?

“Holy shit! I thought that was you.”

She looked more relaxed now. She was leaning against the bar again. “Well since I know you aren’t a fed, who am I talking to right now?” She eyed me, again. “Mmhm. Which one are you?” She was talking to me now.

“Uh. Dean.” I grunted.

“Dean Winchester, huh?” She looked amused, interested. She looked down at the bar top and nodded a few times. “Yeah, sure.” She looked back up at me. “He wants to talk to you.”

I took the phone from her. “Bobby?”

“Listen here, idgit. You and your brother are like sons to me, but Ava is my niece, my blood. You don’t mess with her. Ya here me? I will kill you dead.”

I grunted, with a nod. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious, Dean. She is off limits.”

I looked up, making eye contact with her. _Ava_. “I hear you, Bobby. You got it.”

I could hear Bobby grumbling on the line. “Idgit.” _Click_.

I handed her the phone back. “So this is awkward.” I said with an uncomfortable laugh.

She slowly sat back on her barstool. “Dean Winchester. Bobby talks about you a lot.” She commented.

“I didn’t know he had a niece.” I lowered myself back on to my stool.

“I’m not surprised.” She said cooly. “I think he tried to keep me out of your line it work.”

“So you’re really a detective?” I asked skeptically.

“Mhm.” She said with a nod. “And you think these disappearances are a… case?”

“I have my suspicions. Not much to go on yet. Sammy is doing some research back at the motel.”

“Well, Dean. Why don’t you buy me a drink and you can tell me what you think is in my little town.”

I raised an eyebrow. I felt a flutter in my chest. _What the fuck_? “Like what? A cosmo?”

“Try a beer. But if princess Winchester wants a cosmo I’m sure we can get you one.”

I laughed out loud. “Okay. You got me.” I put up my hands in surrender and waved over the bartender. “Two beers.”

“And whatever he’s having.” Ava grinned at me.

_What a woman._

The bartender handed her two beers and one for me. “So, Ava. What can you tell me about the vics?”

“No real connection.” She said taking a swig. “All great people. Successful. Two men and a woman. Different ages. Different parts of town.” She sighed.

“They’re all successful?” I asked taking another drink. Maybe it was the beer, or being near her, but my head was buzzing.

“Yeah. The woman, Jane, was the youngest CEO in her company’s history. First woman, too. A real go getter. Lawrence married a supermodel. She’s way out of his league. They do seem really happy, though. Nice couple.”

I finished my beer and gestured for another. I had a nasty feeling in my gut that I knew what was ganking people in town. “And the third?”

“The third was just a kid. Nineteen years old. He got into Princeton. He was home for Christmas break.”

I rubbed my face with my hands.

“What?” She questioned, leaning in closer to me. I got a whiff of her perfume and felt a little dizzy. “Do you know what’s doing this?”

“If I had to bet my life on it, I’d say a cross roads demon.”

She sat up a little straighter. “A demon? How do you deal with that?”

I sighed. “You really don’t. We can send it back to hell, but it’ll claw its way out eventually. If we can find out how many more people made deals we may be able to protect them. For awhile.”

“A deal? What do you mean?”

I looked at this woman. Her blue eyes were serious. _Bobby’s niece_. I reminded myself. “Someone summoned the damn thing and made a deal. Something for their soul. They get ten years and whamo hell hounds come for your ass and drag you off.”

She finished the next half of her beer in one large gulp. “Jesus.”

“I’ll say.”

“So, how are we going to find out who else made a deal?”

I laughed and finished my third beer. “We aren’t doing anything, sweetheart. Sammy and I will take care of this.”

“God, again with the sweetheart bit. What? Am I supposed to swoon? I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not.” I put my hands up as if to tell her to stop.

“I am. End of story. This is my town. These are my people to protect.”

“This is a demon, Ava. Not some regular run of the mill psychopath.”

“I get that.” She said with a hushed tone. “And I’m not just a detective.”

Something came over me. “You didn’t.” I stood up, shaking my head. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“Didn’t do what exactly?”

“You didn’t make a deal. Please tell me you didn’t make a deal with this son of a bitch.”

“Seriously? You’re really asking me that?”

“You’re pretty young for a detective! Is it such a crazy thought?”

She laughed and shook her head. “You know what? Fuck you, Dean. Fuck off.” She stood up after finishing her beer. She slid into her leather coat. “No, I didn’t make a deal. I’m just good at my job. I know it’s a crazy concept to think that a woman could progress so quickly in a job made for boys, but I did it. I’m good at my job, asshat. So call me when you need me, because you will need me.”

She turned away from me and walked away, swinging her hips. She pushed out fo the bar into the cold December night.

————

“Bobby’s niece, wow.” Sam said as he lounged on his bed in the motel.

“That’s what I said.” I sat on a chair and the table in the corner, leaning with my feet on the table.

“He called me immediately and told me to stay away from her.” Sam laughed. “I can’t believe we haven’t heard of her before.”

“She’s something else, Sammy. A real spitfire.”

“Bobby told me about her, Dean.” He scooted to the edge of his bed.

“What did he say?”

“Her mom died when she was 9.”

“Fuck.”

“It was a demon, Dean.”

“Like what happened to mom?” I asked.

“It was a crossroads demon.”

“What was her deal?” I leaned forward in my chair, resting my feet back on the floor.

“She wanted to have a child. She did it for Ava.”

“Does Ava know?”

Sammy shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you think this is the same thing that kill her mom? Here twenty five years later to collect again?”

“It’s possible.”

“I don’t like that possibility.” I said standing up. I walked into the bathroom to splash my face with water. I held both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. Is this what she saw when she looked at me? My tired, aging face. She was right, of course. I didn’t need her for the case, but I did want to call her. I needed to see her again. I wanted to.


	2. The Pastor

Ava

I didn’t sleep a wink. A demon is in my town. Uncle Bobby spent my whole life deterring me away from the supernatural. _“Normal people are scary enough, Ava. You don’t want to get mixed up in all of this.”_ He was right. I didn’t, but I was under the impression that the life didn’t come from a choice. It was a curse.

I recalled Dean Winchester walking into the bar. He was sexy, rugged, and strong. He was damaged. I could see behind his green eyes that he had been through darkness. He may still be in the darkness. Bobby didn’t want me to be a part of that. I didn’t want to be.

I sat on my bed with all my case information spread out in front of me.

“A fucking demon.” I shook my head, and tied my hair up on top of my head.

“How are all of these people connected? Come on. Give me something. Anything.” I pulled out my laptop and searched for any connection.

The clicks of the keys on my keyboard were almost mesmerizing. I scrolled through their different social media trying to find any kind of connection. Bingo. I thought as I clicked to enlarge a photo from about ten years ago. It had the four families huddled together with the caption: _Wednesday night bible study with the family!_

 _It’s always a church, isn’t it_? I shook my head and jotted down the name of the church. I knew where I was headed in the morning. I glanced at my bedside clock. It was already almost seven am. I guess I know where I am headed now. I stood up and stretched. I started a pot of much needed coffee and started my shower.

The hot water rolled off my skin and Deans smirk flashed back under my eyelids. I shook my head, and applied my shampoo. _No way, lady. He is trouble. He has those heartbreak eyes_. I ran my face under the hot water. _And those bed breaking hips._ I reached for the knob and turned the water to ice cold. _Get it together._

————

I wore my black knee high boots over black jeans, and a green sweater. A cream scarf and black leather jacket pulled together my winter attire. The day was cold, the sky dark and threatening. It was going to snow. I could feel it in my bones.

I pulled out my phone and glanced at it, half expecting to see a message from Dean. Nothing. I slid it back into my jacket pocket and made my way into church. 

The pastor was at the alter practicing his sermon. He looked young, and handsome. Maybe twenty four years old.

“Mary and Jospeh traveled long and hard. She was pregnant, and cast out. We have all heard the story a million times, but yet we still continue to cast out others in her situation. I challenge you this Christmas to choose acceptance, and choose love.”

“That was beautiful.” I said to announce myself.

“Detective, it’s nice to see you in church.”

“I’m very busy.” I said with a million dollar smile.

“God understands.”

“Hm.” I said with a smile.

“Are you here today on personal or business?”

“Business, unfortunately.” We met half way down the aisle. I felt itchy in the holy building. I pulled the images of the dead church goers out of my jacket. “Do you recognize these three?” I pointed to the deceased.

He eyed the images and shook his head. “Not them, but this is me.” He said pointing to a fourteen year old child.

I swallowed hard. “Can you tell me anything about the group?”

He shrugged, holding the printed image. “It was a bible study. We did it at a local coffee shop.”

“Do you remember talking to anyone odd? Having anyone offer you something?”

He narrowed his eyes a bit. “Why does this image matter, Detective? This was a long time ago.”

“Have you been reading the news, Pastor?” I asked, taking the image from him. “People from your bible study are dying.”

It looked like the wind had been knocked out of him. “That’s tragic. How?”

“We don’t know yet. This group is the only connection we have.” I narrowed my eyes at him. He seemed suspicious.

“I wasn’t God fearing then. I put a lot behind me from that time, so I don’t remember much.” His voice softened, and he put his hands in his pants pockets. “I remember speaking with a young woman. She was beautiful. She explained the love of God to me. She told me that she could give me the faith I need.”

My stomach dropped. “In exchange for what?”

“She just said that she will come to me when I’m an adult, and I can repay her.”

I felt sick. Light headed. _The pastor sold his soul for some fucking faith_.

“It’s all I wanted.” He explained. “To have the faith my family had. To fit in. To believe.”

I shook my head. “Pastor I have some bad news for you.”

The doors to the church flew open and the pastor, and I turned to face the Winchester boys strolling into the church. I grinned when Dean looked at me surprised. “Hey, Pumpkin.” I called to him. “A little late to the draw?”

The man with him, who I could only assume was Sam, laughed.

“Can we talk?” Dean asked, eyeing the startled man next to me.

“Pastor, do you mind waiting just a moment?”

He glanced between us. “Yes, of course.”

We made our way into the lobby. “He’s the fourth victim. At least. There may be more.” I said with a hushed tone.

“She’s fast.” Sam said.

“This is my job.” I said with a shrug.

Dean met my eyes. “The pastor sold his soul to the devil. Damn there’s a joke in there somewhere.”

The corner of my mouth twitched, trying to smile. “What do we do?”

“First things first.” Sam said, reaching out a hand. “I’m Sam.”

“I know. I’m Ava.”

“I know.” He grinned.

I smiled back at him. He was tall, with shaggy hair. I could see the family resemblance in his green eyes, and rugged flannel. 

Dean shifted uncomfortably. “Well now that everyone’s introduced do you think we can make a plan?”

“The demons shouldn’t be able to get into the church, but I’m not too sure about the hell hounds. We have some herbs we can put at the entrances. To try to keep them at bay. Our best bet, though, is to kill the demon that has his contract.”

I looked between the two brothers. They were both handsome, and strong. I felt safe with them. “Yeah, okay. Do it. I’ll talk to the pastor. Break the news.”

“Sammy.” Dean said, making eye contact with his brother. “Someone needs to find the others in this picture. We need to know if they made a deal too.”

Sam nodded. “Do you got this?”

Dean nodded. “I think I can handle it.”

Sam pushed back out the door to go contact the other people from the Bible study.

The idea of even being remotely alone with Dean made a chill run up my spine. I could still see his lips on his beer bottle. I pinched my arm to break the fantasy that was growing in my head.

“Scared you’re dreaming? Sorry sweetheart, but I think you’re wide awake. It’s not too late to scoot, though.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean.”

He seemed to look past me. “Fuck, well, we may be.”

“What do you mean?”

He pointed past me, causing me to turn. The church was empty, and the back door was ajar. “Mr Church is gone.”

Sam had taken Deans Impala so he was stuck driving around town in my car. He held the flash light out the window. “I don’t get it. Does he not want to be saved?”

“He’s probably scared.” I admitted.

We had been driving for an hour with no avail.

“Dean?” I asked him, as I slowed to stop at the stop sign.

“Huh?”

“What if we just summon it? We need to kill it, right? To release him from the contract?”

Deans eyebrows raised. “You want to summon the thing?”

“Why not? Maybe we can trap it.” I put the car in park so I could turn fully towards him. “It’s a good plan.”

“I’m not using you as bait.”

“Why? I can hold my own.”

“You’re Bobby’s niece.”

“I’m 25 years old.” I argued. “Who I’m related to is a moot point.”

“Not for me.” He shook his head. “Bobby is family. I won’t let family die.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Do you have any better ideas? From what I’ve heard from Bobby, Dean, you Winchester’s are infamous to the demons. If they see you they’ll smell a trap. Won’t they?”

He looked down, like he was considering it.

I reached out, I could help it, and I took his hand. “You and Sam will be there. Come on. The pastor just wanted some hope. He shouldn’t have to die for wanting some hope.”

Dean looked up and met me with soft, understanding eyes. “I don’t like it.”

“I know.”

“You can’t tell Bobby.”

“I won’t.”

“You can’t get hurt.”

“You won’t let that happen.”

He nodded. “Fuck it. Okay.”

We made our way to the coffee shop that sat on the outskirts of town. Right at a cross road. “Kind of a sketchy place to have church group.”

“I’ll say.” I agreed, zipping my coat up. I felt a chill that went to my bones. There was darkness here.

Dean was painting a devils trap on the roof of a gazebo, when he noticed my chill. “Ava, are you sure you want to do this? We can always abort.”

I met his eyes in the darkness. “I’m sure.”

He nodded, trusting me. Sam arrived, and we finished prepping. The boys hid, and I buried my box in the dirt. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes, chanting the words that Sam had taught me.

“You called?” I turned to find a woman, bare foot even though it was 25 degrees outside. She was wearing all white.

I swallowed hard. “I want to climb the ranks. I’m a detective, but I need more. Special services, FBI… I want to be a success.” I hoped I was selling it, because fuck I was terrified.

She walked around me, trailing her finger along my shoulders. “I can do that.” She purred.

I followed her with my eyes as she circled me like a hungry shark. “You’ll have to give me something, though, in return.”

“And I get 10 years?”

“So you know the drill.” She grinned widely.

I nodded. “Yes.” I looked around. “Can we go somewhere a little more private to discuss? It’s not too busy here, but I don’t feel comfortable standing in the road.” I gestured toward the gazebo.

She nodded and followed me under the gazebo. I walked right past the devils trap. Dean left about a foot on all sides so I could slip out the edge of the gazebo when she was trapped.

She walked right into it. _Score_. “Let’s make this official.” She stepped toward me.

“As much as I like to see two girls kiss,” Dean began as he stepped out of the shadows with a gun in his hand. “It’d be way more fun to just gank you.”

The demons eyes turned black as she turned to Dean. “Dean Winchester. I should’ve known.” She turned to me. “It isn’t nice to trick people, Ava.”

“Ava get out of there.” Dean instructed sternly.

I backed out of the gazebo, and I stood next to Dean. I felt stronger when we were next to each other.

“Now where is the littlest Winchester?” She circled around eyeing for Sam.

“Do you own Pastor James’s contract?”

The demon grinned back at me darkly. “Wouldn’t you like to know, bitch.” The creature snarled.

My distraction worked, because Sam was behind her in an instant. He pressed the gun to the back of her head and he began to chant the words for an exorcism. She thrashed and screamed out. He finished the chant and her. Mouth opened, smoke rushing out and going straight back to hell. Her human body crashed to the ground. She was already dead.

The three of us looked to each other. “That seemed too easy.”

“Tell me about it.” Dean said. He looked from the dead girl, to Sam, and then lingered on me. “I need a damn drink.”

I looked at my watch. “Why don’t you two come by my house around dinner time?” I smiled softly meeting Deans eyes. “I just realized that it’s Christmas Eve.”

Dean smiled at me. “Yeah, I think that’d be nice.”

———————

I parted ways with the Winchester’s, only to meet up with them in a few hours. I went back to my one bedroom apartment. My sad excuse for a Christmas tree, and my picture frames that still held the faces that they came with instead of pictures of my family that I don’t have. My case files were littered all over the apartment. I scooped them up and tossed them in my desk drawer. The soup was bubbling on the stove as I changed out of my clothes I had worn all day into a black, long sleeved dress. It was simple, and comfortable. Part of me wanted to look pretty.

I heard the door opened with a creak. “Sam, Dean? Is that you?” I asked as I sat down my red lipstick. You two are early!“ I walked into the living room to see a strange man standing in my doorway. "Excuse me, what are you doing in my house?” I asked, eyeing the room for my gun.

“You killed someone important to me today.” I watched the mans eyes turn black. “And you’re going to pay.”

 


	3. Pain

Dean

Sammy and I found the pastor. He was torn to shreds behind a bar. His blood still smelled like alcohol. We couldn’t save him. I couldn’t tell Ava. 

Sam found out that the rest of the group was clean, so no one else would be puppy chow. That was the saving grace of it all. If I believed in that shit.

We buried the bodies together. The demon woman, and the pastor. Every time I wiped a bead of sweat off my forehead, or dirt out of my eyes I thought about Ava. I thought about how brave she was standing up to that demon. She didn’t flinch. She was courageous and beautiful. I would never deserve her. Not even for a night. She isn’t the kind of girl that should be digging graves, or wearing anti possession tattoos.

“You seem pensive.” Sam said, as we patted the dirt down.

“Just seems like everything we do ends this way.”

“Yeah.” He agreed. “But we got one. That counts for something.”

“We got one and there are thousands to take her place.” I wiped my hands on my jeans. “Whose that guy who kept pushing the rock up the hill forever?”

Sams eyebrows came together. “Sisyphus?”

“Yeah, him. I feel like him most of the time. Like we will be doing this forever.”

“This is the only life we have known, Dean. You like this life.”

“Like it?” I turned to him and leaned against the shovel. “I wouldn’t say that, Sammy.”

“Where’s all of this coming from, Dean? Is it because of Ava?”

“Ava? Why would this have anything to do with Ava.”

“I saw the way you looked at her. I saw the look in her eyes when she looked at you.”

 _What look was that_? “We just met. I looked at her like she was in danger.” I tried to shrug him off.

“It wasn’t like that and you know it.”

“I’m just tired, man. Maybe this is about her. Her mom was killed by a demon and she turned out normal. Badass. Her life is what we could’ve had. We brought her into this. I did. I let her into that trap. All I can hope is that she won’t ever have to be put in that situation again.” I pulled the shovel out of the dirt and shook my head.

“Dean.”

“Let’s just go, Sammy. We promised we would bring eggnog, and fuck do I need a drink.”

We were running late, and I felt like shit about it. If I were a better man I would skip town. I wouldn’t show up at her house to open presents and drink a cup of holiday cheer. But I wasn’t a better man, and I wanted to say goodbye.

“I have one more stop.” I told Sam as I parked the car.

“What are you doing?”

I opened the door to the car without answering and jogged into the flower shop across the street. The air was cold and crisp, and the sky was dark, but I could see a dozen roses in the glowing shop window. I opened the door with a ding.

“Can i help you?” The woman behind the counter asked.

“I need some flowers.”

“Well you’re in the right place.” She said with a bright smile. “Who are they for?”

I looked down at my hands as I shoved them deep into my jeans pockets. There was no sense in lying to her. “They’re for a girl.”

“There’s always a girl, isn’t there?” She looked disappointed.

I nodded with a smile. “And I don’t deserve her. What do you get a girl like that?” I moved my gaze from her to the roses I was eyeing from the street. “What do you think of those?”

“Stunning.” She pulled them out of the vase. “They’re bold. Grand.” She met my eyes. “The perfect choice.”

I bought the flowers and jogged back to the Impala. “Hold these.” I grunted to Sam.

“Flowers, Dean?”

“What? I can’t be respectable?”

“I’ve never seen you buy a girl flowers.”

“First time for everything, Sammy. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

Sam shrugged with a smile. “We are about to have a real Christmas. You’re buying roses. Hell of a day.”

“Just another day, Sammy.”

I pulled into Ava’s apartment parking lot. I was nervous. My palms were sweating. _Get it together, you fucking fairy. She’s just a girl. A woman. It’s just dinner._ I looked at the roses in my hands. _I’m so screwed._

We made our way up to the fourth floor. Apartment 4B. I knocked on her door. Three swift knocks. I looked to Sam. He saw right through me. He always had.

There was movement inside the apartment, but no one came to the door. “Ava?” I knocked a few more times. Sam and I exchanged a look and I tried the knob. “Ava?” I could smell smoke coming from the kitchen.

“Check out the kitchen. I’m gonna look around.” I instructed my little brother. “Ava?” I called again, making my way to the back of the apartment. My eyebrows came together. I thought I heard rustling. “Ava?” I shouted again.

“DEAN!”

I pushed my way into the room that her voice came from. She was tied. A man leaning over her, a knife was in his hand. It was dripping from blood. She locked eyes with me. Her makeup was smeared down her cheeks. “Demon.” She mouthed before he shoved a gag in her mouth. The man sat up and grabbed the knife in both his hands. “Winchester, I was hoping you’d show up.” His eyes flickered black.

“Well, here I am. Can you get off her?”

“What? No please?” He growled. “You sure took your time. I got to have some fun with your little girlfriend.”

He moved a bit, and I got a better look at Ava. He dress was pushed up her body. Cuts covered her thighs, stomach. She was naked from the stomach down. “I’m gonna kill you, you son of a bitch.” I dropped the roses I was holding and grabbed for my own weapon.

He turned back to Ava, and ran his blade down her leg. I ran toward him, only to have him hold me against the wall with a glance. “Your brother killed my daughter today.”

“Yeah, well she had it comin.” I met Ava’s eyes. She was terrified, but she was surveying the room. She was looking for an escape route. I had seen that look in Sam. Sam! He had to have heard the commotion, but yet he wasn’t here. “Can’t just be killin pastors and getting away with it. Kind of bad juju.”

He walked to me against the wall and grinned. His eyes still black as the void. “I wonder what I could get for turning over Dean Winchester?” He pressed his knife against my cheek, and I felt the blood drip down my neck.

Ava thrashed against her restraints when he cut me. The cut didn’t hurt as bad as seeing her in pain did. “Imagine how I felt when I saw little Ava Langston. How mommy would’ve felt seeing this? She sold her soul to me just to give her little girl over to me on a silver platter.”

I spit in his face. “Fuck you.”

“Nah, but I may take your girl for another ride.”

“No you won’t.” Sam said from the salted doorway. He held Dads notebook in his hand. He started chanting. The demon twisted and dropped his knife.

I fell to the ground and ran to Ava’s side. “Hey, hey I’ve got you.” I untied her arms and pulled the gag from her lips. I pulled her dress down over her exposed lower half and helped her out of the ropes around her ankles.

The demon was writhing in the floor, but before Sam could finish his chant the demons mouth opened and black smoke bellowed out of his body and into the vents. The man laid dead on the floor. He was probably dead the whole time.

Ava fell into my arms, her eyes locked on the man for a moment. When she saw he wasn’t moving anymore, she buried her face into my chest and cried. I wrapped my arms around her. “It’s over. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Sam and I made eye contact with each other. “We should take her to the hospital.”

I nodded at Sam. “Yeah.” I looked at Ava, and cupped her face. “I’m so sorry.”

She met my eyes. “You didn’t do this, Dean.” Her voice was raw. I wondered how long she had been screaming. I was late because of some fucking flowers.

Ava

I woke up in the hospital. Dean was asleep next to my bedside. He looked troubled. I met Sams eyes. He was still awake. I put my finger to my lips and pointed to Dean. I wanted him to sleep.

“Hey.” He whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” I admitted. I could still see flashes. His weight in top of me. His knife against my skin. His— I shook my head and forced a smile. “But I’m safe. Thanks to you two.”

Sam sat on the edge of my bed. “I’m sorry.”

“You Winchester’s have to stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.” I looked from Sam to his brother. “He came in with roses. From what Bobby says he doesn’t do stuff like that.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Hm.”

Sam looked at me. “Ava, the demon is still out there. We are used to being hunted, but we don’t want this to happen to you again.” He looked down. “You’re good. You’re Bobby’s family, so you’re our family. This was already too much.”

I stared at Sam hard. “Don’t get me wrong, Sam. This isn’t what I wanted, but that motherfucker…” I put my hand over my mouth and swallowed hard. “I don’t want him to do that to anyone else.”

“We will hunt the thing, Ava. We will get it.” He grabbed my hand. “I promise you.”

“You’re right. _We_ will.” I could see that Sam understood me loud and clear.

He shook his head instantly. “He won’t ever allow it. Hell, I won’t.”

“I know you understand revenge, Sam. He hurt me, but he killed my mom. I heard Bobby and my dad talking after she died. They thought I was asleep.” I looked at my bandaged arms and hands. “I know you think I escaped this life, but I just never had to face it until now. They know who I am. You can’t deny that. We will all be safer if we are together.”

Sam stood and shook his head. “I do understand. More than you know.” He met my eyes. “Dean won’t do it.”

“He won’t have a choice.” I said softly, looking at Dean sleeping. I looked back at Sam. “Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Get a morning after pill. I think the motherfucker was trying to get me pregnant.”

Thirty minutes later I had swallowed the pill and Sam went back to my apartment to pack me a bag. I didn’t want to go back there. 

Dean shook himself awake. When he saw my eyes a look of relief washed over him. “Hey.” He walked to me.

“Hey back.”

“You scared me back there.”

I reached out and touched the stitches on his cheek. “You too.”

He shook his head, leaning into my hand. “Don’t worry about me. This is normal.”

“That isn’t how I wanted you to see me naked, Dean.” I said, trying to be playful. “Maybe next time I’ll wear black instead of red.”

“Not funny.”

“You bought me roses.”

“House warming gift.” He turned away from me.

“Dean, look at me.”

He shook his head, but his shoulders were shaking slightly.

“Sam already gave me the speech, ya know.”

He sniffled and turned toward me. His eyes were still wet, but I could tell I wasn’t supposed to know that, so I didn’t comment. “The big speech, huh? About how we are no good. This is what happens when people are around us, Ava.” He stepped back. “I’m sorry you ever had the misfortune of meeting me.”

“You’re really full of yourself, you know that?”

“What?”

“This is my town, Dean. The demon that killed my mom. I don’t think you would’ve made much of a difference. I would’ve still ended up in that church. Maybe I would’ve seen the pastor be ripped apart. Then I would’ve known. I would’ve called Bobby and he probably would’ve called you.” I sat up with a wince. “I know you think the weight of the world belongs to you, but it doesn’t. We can joke and flirt, but I’m going after this thing. I can’t go back after what happened. After what I know. Now you can take me with you, or I can go alone.”

He stared at me in disbelief. “Ava… no no way.” He shook his head. “No way in hell are you coming with us on the road. It isn’t safe. You saw that.”

“It only got the jump on me because I was alone.” I scooted to the edge of my bed and stood up on shaking legs.

“Sit back down, Ava.”

“You know I’m right. Don’t you?” I reached out and touched his arm. He grabbed ahold of me so I wouldn’t fall. “See, you’re catching me already.”

“You’ll die.” He sounded broken.

“We all die sometime.” He didn’t understand, even though he should.

“You don’t have to. Not now.

"It’ll keep coming, Dean. You know it will. It’ll take what it wants if it can get the jump on me again.” I looked up at him. Our mouths inches from each other. “I know you didn’t get much choice in your life. This is my choice. You of all people should understand my want for a choice.”

He exhaled. He was torn. “I do understand, but I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it. You just have to say yes.”

We locked eyes, and I felt calm. Somehow I knew his answer before it left his lips.

“Fuck no.”


	4. Arms

Dean

“Fuck no.”

“Dean.” She breathed my name. I liked the way it sounded escaping her lips. I could feel her breath on my face.

“Don’t _Dean_ , me.” I shook my head. “You need to rest. There’s no sense in arguing about things that you’ll never win.” I lead her back to sit down, and she was really to weak to fight against it.

“Sit with me?” She asked, looking up at me with her blue eyes.

“Mm.” I nodded, lowering us down. I kept one arm on her to keep her steady. “Ava.” I exhaled.

“Don’t Ava, me.” She repeated my words. "What is it, Dean? You don’t think a girl can hold her own? I’m not afraid.“

I held her chin in my fingers. "Don’t you get it? You should be.”

“You aren’t.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Well you’re wrong about at least one thing, sweetheart. I’m scared of everything.” I let go of her chin, but her face stayed titled toward me.

“What are you scared of now?”

“I can’t let something happen to you.”

“Something already has.”

“And that’s supposed to change my mind?” I asked pointedly.

“It changed Sams.”

_Fucking Sammy_. “Of course it did.” I groaned.

As of on queue the door to her room opened. Sam walked in holding a duffle bag. “Let me guess.” Sam began. “He didn’t go for it.”

“No.” I stood up and faced my little brother. “I didn’t. I can’t believe you did.” I frowned and shook my head. “Sammy, can I talk to you? Outside?”

I looked at Ava. I was angry at the ambush, but I couldn’t help still feel an enormous guilt in my gut for the bandages covering her skin.

“Yeah.” Sam grunted, placing the bag on the ground. “Sure.”

The two of us went into the hall. The door clicked shut. “What are you thinking, Sam?”

“I’m thinking that she makes some valid points.” Sam folded his arms across his chest.

I shook my head. “No way man. No way can we bring her.”

“It’s gonna hunt her, Dean. She’s safer under protection and you know it.”

“So we will send her to Bobby’s.”

“She wants revenge.”

_So do I._ “Sometimes we don’t get so lucky.”

“This time we can.” He took a step toward me. “Dean, tell me. Do you really believe that she won’t go after it anyway? I don’t get that impression from her. She has a strong will. I don’t think she’s gonna let this go.”

I shoved my hands in my pockets. “No.” I grunted. “I don’t either. Does that mean we just put her in danger?”

“She’s going to be in danger anyway.”

I turned toward the wall and slammed my first into it. “Shit.” I flattened my hand against the wall. “Are we really going to bring this girl into it, Sammy?” I turned to him and searched his face for an answer.

“She’s already in it.”

“I know.” I said, pressing my forehead against the cool wall.

“You want to tell her?”

“Yeah. I’ll tell her.” I pushed back into her room, pulling the door shut behind me.

“Dean?” She sat up. It looked like she had finally laid down to rest. I kicked myself for interrupting her sleep.

“Hey Ave.”

She pursed her lips. “You seem… relaxed.”

“Don’t confuse my happiness to see you alive as relaxation.” I sighed. “You’re in.”

“In as in…?”

“What? Do I need to spell it out for you?”

A spark lit in her eyes. She sat up a little straighter. “You’re taking me with you.”

“I’m not happy with it, but yeah. I guess we are.”

Our eyes met. I was split in two. I couldn’t stand to see her get hurt, but I wanted nothing more than to have her next to me. I wanted to protect her, but more than anything I wanted the peace I felt when I was next to her.

“When do we leave?”

“Listen, fighter, you need to get some rest.” I walked up to her. She was small. Vulnerable. I pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “We aren’t going anywhere until you’re better.”

Ava

_3 Days Later_

We said goodbye to the hospital, and I put in my leave at work. After the attack no one questioned me.

“You seriously have 3 months built up of paid vacation?”

“I haven’t taken a day since I started.” I shrugged. I was still sore, and popping pain medication like it was candy. My internal wounds were cleared from the doctor. The stitches would dissolve on their own. I could still feel the knife between my legs. I shifted slightly.

Dean eyed me. “You okay?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek and readjusted my duffle bag. “I’m great.”

“Okay.” He said, not looking convinced, but also not pushing it.

We put my bag in the trunk, over his hunting gear. I wore leggings and a large sweatshirt and boots. I needed something flexible so it wouldn’t rub against my wounds.

“I’ll take the back seat.” Sam said cooly, as he climbed into the back.

Sam and I had bonded over the last few days. Dean was constantly pacing outside of my room, and I knew he was watching over me when I slept but it was Sam who was up late at night talking to me and playing Gin.

_“He’s been ignoring me.”_

_“He isn’t ignoring you, Ava.”_

_“He isn’t?” I asked, dealing out a new set of cards. I sat crisscrossed on my hospital bed. Sam sat backwards in a chair that was pushed to the end of my bed. We were playing cards._

_“Nope. That’s Dean. He doesn’t want to get too close. He’s still pouting that you’re coming. He will come around. He did buy flowers, after all.” Sam wiggles his eyebrows at me._

_“I don’t need him to come around come around. I’d just like to have him… ya know, look at me.”_

I had a feeling Sam was trying to push us together. I just couldn’t figure out why.

“Okay.” I said as I lowered myself into the passenger seat. I guess he can’t avoid me if I’m sitting next to him.

Dean lowered himself into his car and started the engine. “Where are we headed , Sammy?”

“California.” Sam said, leaning back. “El Matador. I’ll get the details after I take a nap.”

We sat in silence until I was sure that Sam was asleep. “You don’t want me here.”

Dean glanced at me and shook his head. “Sweetheart, you can’t even begin to imagine what I want.”

I turned my body toward him. “Stop with that shit. I’m not your sweetheart.” I snapped. “I have just as much of a right to be here as you do. As Sam does.”

He laughed. He’s fucking laughing at me. Fire burned inside of me.

“I’m not a child, Dean!” My voice was raising. “I’m an officer. I know how to work a gun. I’ve gone undercover. I’ve beat countless perps. Yeah, maybe I don’t know about demons and monsters, but if you will just fill in the gaps I can be helpful.” I sighed. “Just fucking let me try.”

Deans gaze softened at me and shook his head. “You’re something else, you know that?”

I grinned at him. “I do.”

We drove through the night, taking turns sleeping in the car, and made it to El Matador when the sun was rising over the ocean.

Dean pulled over, and I hopped out of the car, leaving my boots in my wake. The air was warmer here, about 65 degrees, and I jogged into the sand with my arms up to the clear California sky.

Dean

The passenger door flew open, and I watched Ava book it to the beach her arms wide to the sky. Her hair flew behind. “Wow.” I whispered, not realizing at first that I said it out loud.

“She looks happy.” Sam commented.

“She hasn’t got a good look at the world yet.” I grunted, back pedaling.

“Well, I like it.” He said with a nod. “I’m going too.”

“You’re going on to the beach?” I had never seen Sam in a pair of flip flops, let alone ankle deep in sand.

“Why not?”

Sam stretched as he opened the car door, and ran after Ava. He caught up to her and picked her up from behind, spinning her around. She was laughing, and kicking her legs. They looked carefree. I had half the mind to drive away, leave their bliss in my rear view mirror. The other half of my mind, though, wanted to know what a laugh like that sounded like. “Fuck it.” I mumbled. I untied my shoes and jogged onto the sand.

“Here to ruin the fun?” Ava asked when Sam put her down. “Let me guess, sand monsters?” She was grinning. She was testing me.

“Nope.” I said, throwing her over my shoulder.

“Dean!” She shrieked.

I could hear Sam laughing behind us as I confidently walked both of us into the water. Fuck, was it cold.

“Dean! Put me down!” She shouted again, in between fits of laugher. Her palms slapped my back.

I pulled her off my back and held her in front of me in the water. I knew she was still weak, and I didn’t want the undertow to take her.

“It’s good to see you smile.” She commented softly, a statement only for me to hear.

“You, too.” I hadn’t even noticed I was smiling.

She wrapped her arms my neck and reached up, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I know you’re still unsure about having me here, but I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for letting me come anyway.”

“You’re welcome.” I said, rubbing circles on her back with my thumb. I couldn’t help but be happy. No matter how uneasy I felt about the risk we were taking, at least in that very moment we were calm. We were happy.

“Get a room you two!” Sam called from the shore. The kid was grinning from ear to ear. Asshole.

“Get a life, Sammy!” I shouted back, not loosening my grip on her for a second. “I think your boyfriend is jealous.” I said through a fake smile.

“Sam isn’t my boyfriend, and you know it.” She said her voice low. Her arms were still around my neck.

“It’s cold.” I grunted. “Maybe we should go back to shore.”

“You’re probably right.” She said, untangling herself from me.

I let her down, keeping my hand on her back as we walked through the gentle lapping waves, to sit in the sand next to Sam.

“We don’t do this enough.” Sam commented after a few minutes of silence.

“Don’t do what?” Ava asked, as she braided her hair. She had lost her sweater and sat in a tight tank top and her black leggings. I could see her stitches poking out from the bottom of her pants and they made my skin itch.

“Have fun.” Sam said, staring out at the water. In the distance a dolphin leapt out of the water.

“You Winchester’s are so serious.” She said laying back in the sand.

“You two are going to get sand all in my car.” I complained.

“Have a little fun, Dean.” Ava said with her eyes closed. “It’ll add minutes onto your life.”

I wished I could look as carefree as she did. Her braid in the sand. Her blue eyes were closed and her lips were slightly opened letting out relaxed breaths. She was beautiful.

“I’m tired.” I said standing up. I shook my pants, trying to release any sand that was stuck in place. “Let’s go get a room. Or two.” I reached out my hand to help her up, but she stood on her own.

“Fine.” She flipped her braid from her shoulder. “But I Get first shower.” 


	5. The Motel

Sam

Ava was in the shower. We got a deluxe room with two full beds and a pull out couch. Dean offered to sleep on the pull out so Ava could rest. She called him sexist, but happily took the bed.

Watching the two of them was horribly exhausting. They were fighting it. Specifically Dean. I knew my brother and seeing her attacked broke something in him. You don’t break like that if you don’t care.

Dean was sitting on the couch with a plastic cup full of whiskey. I had my laptop open with my notebook at my side.

“So, tell me again.”

“Young vacationers are going missing.” I said tossing him the news paper. “At least the women are. Their boyfriends are found on the beach with their throats ripped out. Sometimes other body parts. They think it’s a shark.” I said dryly.

“And what do we think? Werewolf?”

“Not the right moon cycle.”

“Wereshark?” Ava asked, as she came out of the shower in just a large T-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. She was drying her long hair.

I grinned at the sight of Deans mouth hanging open. “Unlikely.” I said, stifling a laugh. “I think it’s a vampire nest.”

Dean coughed a few times and downed the rest of his drink. “Then why the bodily mutilation?”

“Maybe they’re trying to cover it up. Make it look like a shark attack.” Ava said as she poured herself a drink, leaning over Dean to do so.

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat. I wanted to yell at them to just get on with it, but I knew it wouldn’t help. “That’s pretty smart, actually. I’m going to see if there’s anything else that fits the pattern. I’ll give Bobby a call and see what he thinks.”

Dean made eye contact with me when I mentioned Bobby. We hadn’t told him that Ava was with us yet, and we anticipated it going badly.

“You two are really scared of Bobby?” She asked from her bed.

“What?” Dean grunted. “No way.”

She raised an eyebrow and tossed her cellphone to him. “Then call him.”

Dean caught the phone in one hand. “Nah, I uh. I don’t want to bug him. Ya know?”

“Mhm. That’s what I thought.” She sipped at her whiskey like it was water.

“I’m beat. Let’s pick this up in a few hours.” Dean said stretching. “What do you two say?”

“Sounds good.” Ava said with a yawn. She finished her whiskey and cuddled in.

I stood up and shut the black out curtains and clicked off the lights. “Night, guys.”

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep when I heard soft crying. I sat up and squinted in the darkness. I was disoriented at first, but then I remembered Ava was in the bed next to mine. I got up quietly and shook her shoulder. “Ava.” I whispered. “Hey, it’s okay.”

She sat up, grabbing my hand. “Sam?” She whispered.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

She wiped her eyes, and she sniffled more.

“Do you want to go get some coffee?” I asked her.

She nodded in the darkness. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

She got out of bed and slipped on her shoes. I slid mine on and we snuck out of the motel.

We walked side by side. The sky was overcast. We had only been asleep for an hour. “Want to talk about it?”

Ava sucked in her breath and crossed her arms. “It’s just… the demon.” She shivered. I took my sweatshirt off and handed it to her. “Thanks.” She murmured.

“The nightmares get better.”

“I hope so.” She breathed. “Please don’t tell, Dean.”

“Why? I mean, I won’t, but why don’t you want him to know?”

“He already doesn’t want me here. He doesn’t want me to be hurt. I don’t want him to see how much it fucked me up.”

I put two dollars in the coffee machine and poured us each a cup. I handed her hers and we sat on a bench. I could see the beach in the distance and the air smelled like salt. It was nice.

She sipped her coffee. “I think it was just… it was the rape, you know? I wouldn’t damn anyone to that.”

“Deans protective of the people he cares about. I am too, for the record.” I nudged her slightly.

“But you… You seem to see me like a person, not just a damsel in distress. I feel like I can talk to you.”

“You can talk to him, too.”

“Why are you pushing us together, Sam?” She turned toward me and crossed her legs.

I reached out and touched one of her legs on her stitches. “I think these are ready to come out.”

“Don’t evade the question.”

I sighed and sipped the coffee. “I haven’t seen him like this. Never.” I looked at my dark reflection in the cup. “And I care about you too, Ava. I wasn’t kidding when I said you were family. I don’t really want the awkwardness.” I added, trying to play it cool.

“So you’re not just trying to get Dean laid?”

I choked on my coffee with a cough. “What?”

“Well are you?”

“No! We may be a little codependent but no. I am not trying to get Dean laid.”

“Good. Then get off my back.” She raised her eyebrows. “The chips will fall where they may.” She pointed at me. “Sam I trust you. Please don’t make me regret it.”

“Heard.” I said with a nod.

Dean

I stretched, almost rolling off the pull out couch. I groaned. My back felt like shit. “Hey.” I croaked out. I sat up and squinted into the darkness before flipping the switch on the lamp next to the couch. The room was empty. I was alone.

“Damn.” I swung my legs over the edge of the pull out couch and got dressed. I sat down in a chair and looked at the newspaper again. All of the couples were reported going to see the sunset before the attack. They’re urging swimmers to stay out of the water at dusk and on. “Hm.”

The door to the motel opened slowly, and Ava and Sam entered together. They were still in pajamas and Ava wore Sams university sweatshirt. A wave of jealousy washed over me. _Why the fuck?_

“You’re up.” Sam commented.

“Thought you two ran off without me.”

“Just went to get some coffee.” Ava said, raising her paper cup.

“Huh.” No wonder she would rather hangout with Sam. She’s smart. Sam has a degree, and I can barely form a sentence around her.

Ava pointed to the newspaper. “Catching up on local news?” She walked to me and sat in the chair across from me at the table.

“It says they’re urging swimmers to stay off the beach from dusk on. The couples went missing after they went to watch the sunset.”

“So we will go undercover. Two of us will go watch the sunset and see if who shows up.” She said it so casually, like it was like be the easiest thing in the world.

“No way. I’m not using you as bait again.”

“Well considering they aren’t attacking gay couples I think I’m your best bet.” She raised an eyebrow. She had a point.

“There’s another way.”

“Is there?” She leaned toward and and rested her hand on my arm.

I chill ran up my arm when she touched me. I wondered if she touched Sam, too. “We can find the nest. Sam, and I can gank them.”

“You’ll be there the whole time. Or Sam will. The other can keep watch from a distance. If we do this there may be one, or two? How many if we find their… nest?” She squeezed my arm and suddenly it felt like it was just us in the room.

“Okay.” I folded. It was hard to say no to her when she looked at me like that.

“Good.” She smiled. “Now who’s gonna be my boyfriend for the evening?”

The word boyfriend echoed in my head. “Well you already look like Sammy’s girlfriend.” My jaw tightened as I tugged at the sweatshirt she was wearing.

“I was just cold on the walk over.” She raised an eyebrow. “But, sure, Sam? Can you pretend for awhile?”

“I think Dean should do it.” Sam said with a careful tone.

“Why?” I asked, annoyed. If he liked her why wouldn’t he want to be with her. Maybe he’s trying to hide it. I shook my head. He’s my brother, he wouldn’t hide it.

“You won’t be okay with it unless you’re next to her if something happens. I’ll take watch.”

I nodded. “Fine.”

“Don’t act so excited.” Ava said standing up. “We have a few hours. Why don’t you boys say we get some lunch?”

“I could go for lunch.” Sam said carefully.

“I could eat.”

“Great.” Ava said with an award winning smile. “I’m going to get dressed.” She slowly pulled off Sams sweatshirt, part of her stomach showing as she unwrapped herself like a present. “Thanks, Sam.” She handed him the sweatshirt and he nodded knowingly.

She walked to her bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a blue shirt that I knew would make her eyes glow. She slid into the bathroom to change, and I walked to Sam.

“Got some one on one time?”

“She couldn’t sleep so I offered to walk her to get some coffee.”

“Why couldn’t she sleep?” My eyebrows came together.

Sam shrugged. “Motels aren’t always the easiest to rest in.”

“Sure.” I said not believing him.

_Dusk_

“Hope you did well in drama class.” Ava said as we pulled up at the beach. She had changed into a dress, and put on red lip stick. She looked like she was on a date. She picked a button up for me. “Just look like you’re in love, and they’ll buy it.” She said with a smile.

I got out of the car and walked around to her side to open the door for her. She got out, holding a blanket and a picnic basket. “This is going to be so romantic.” She swooned. I held my arm out for her and she took it.

“I heard the sunsets are beautiful.” I commented, my eyes surveying the beach for fangs. Ava leaned her head on my shoulder and I smiled to myself. Even if it was fake, it felt nice. “Do you see a spot you like?”

“I do.” She said pulling us to a stop. She sat down the basket and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Anywhere with you is a spot I like.”

I allowed myself to relax into her embrace. My arms slid around her waist. I held her against me. I pressed a kiss to her cheek and whispered into her ear, “see anything?”

She shook her head. “No! Not here! You’re so bad.” She laughed, and I pulled back.

“Let’s sit.”

“Okay.” She released her arms from around my neck and we opened the basket, laying out a blanket to sit on.

We settled onto the blanket. My legs were out in front of me and my arms propped myself up. She curled into me. Her legs resting tangled in mine. Her head was on my chest. I felt my heart rate slow to a comfortable beat.

I wrapped my right arm around her and closed my eyes for half a second. I could imagine it. A life with her. Sitting on the beach, tangled together. Happiness. I buried my face in her hair and breathed in her shampoo. It was floral, intoxicating.

“This is nice.” I said before I could stop myself.

“It is.” She agreed. I didn’t know if she was playing pretend or being honest. I wasn’t sure if I cared.

“3 o'clock.” I mumbled into her hair.

She glanced at the man I signaled her to. I looked through her hair to see him staring at us. My blade against my calf seemed to burn hot against my skin. She looked up at me. She touched my cheek with an open palm. “You look handsome in this light.” She said.

“And you look beautiful.” I admitted.

She pulled herself up and she breathed life into me. She pressed her mouth to mine. Her lips were soft, and warm. I couldn’t help but melt into her. I forgot for half a second that we were on a case. All I knew was that she was with me. In that second I realized that she was all I needed.


	6. Stitches

Ava

I felt Deans lips part against mine. It felt good to kiss him. Natural. But that wasn’t why we were here. I heard a step behind me, and I pulled away from the kiss. I turned and raised my gun from under my skirt. “Back off, or I’ll shoot.”

Dean reaches for his knife right as the vampires fangs extended. “It won’t do you much good.” It hissed.

“Maybe, but it’ll slow you down.” I said, pulling the trigger. I took out it’s right kneecap causing it to fall to the ground.

Sam was behind it, with his machete against its neck. Dean and I rose to our feet. My gun was still pointed at the creature.

“Where’s the nest? What are you doing with the women you’re taking?”

“You may as well kill me.” It spat. “I’ll never sell out my family.”

“Your wish is my command.” Sam said, hacking off its head.

I wiped splattered blood off my cheek and turned away from the vampires wide, empty eyes and turned to Dean. He took his thumb and wiped another droplet of blood off my chin. “You did good.” He commented. I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the case or the kiss. Either way I was happy.

Sam bent down and felt though the vampires pockets. “Jackpot.” He mumbled pulling out the vamps phone. “It has a GPS. I may be able to find the nest by his frequent locations.”

“Nerd.” Dean said with a grin.

“You know, Sam, in another life you could’ve been helpful at the station.”

“Well, if this career doesn’t work out I’ll hit you up.”

“Can we go back to the motel so I can wash the vampire blood off of me?”

“Yeah.” Dean said. “Let’s regroup.”

We walked into the hotel. “I’m going to shower.” I said, avoiding the Winchester’s eyes. I shut the door behind me and let out a breath. I stared at myself in the mirror. I was splattered with blood. I closed my eyes. The demons face flashing. His face splattered with my blood. I turned on the shower and slid out of my dress. I had to burn it away. Wash it all away.

I stepped into the hot water, and I fell apart. I held onto the soup holder to keep myself from falling over. “It hurts.” I cried out. I wrapped an arm around myself, my fingers grazing my stitches.

I could feel him cutting me. I didn’t pass out, not once.

“Ava.” Dean was knocking at the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yes.” I choked out before crying harder. _Shit_.

“I’m coming in.” He announced, opening the door. I heard it click behind him. “Hey, talk to me.”

I slid the shower door open just enough for him to see my face. “Can you take these stitches out? Please?”

“Do they hurt? Are you hurt?” His face was wilting with concern.

“I just… I need them out.” Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them.

“I’ll do it.” He said, grabbing my towel. I opened the shower door completely and fell into his arms. He wrapped the towel around me. His gaze didn’t leave my face the entire time. “Hey Sammy.” He called. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll go get a coffee and work on the phone. I’ll be back in an hour.”

When the door the motel room closed, Dean scooped me up and carried me into the room. He laid me down on my bed and he took out his pocket knife. “This shouldn’t hurt.” He rubbed my thigh gently. “But please tell me if it does.”

I nodded. I didn’t realize I was gripping his shirt, but I couldn’t pull my hand away.

He cut the first stitch and gently tugged until it came loose. “Was that okay?”

“Yeah.” I exhaled. A little bit of weighted lifted off me with every stitch. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t the vampire.”

“What was it then?”

“The blood on my face.” I admitted. I remembered what Sam said about me being able to trust Dean. After our fake kiss I wanted to believe it.

He stopped for a second and looked at me. “The demon, right? We haven’t talked about it yet. Not really.”

“You being here is enough.”

“So, that was some performance.” He said, taking my lead and changing the subject.

“I got an A in drama class.” I lied.

“I can see that.”

Dean got the stitches on my lower legs and arms. He stood up and grabbed a pair of underwear out of my bag. “I need to do what’s under the towel.” He said avoiding my eyes. He looked up at me sheepishly.

“Okay.” I said, taking the underwear and while he looked away I slid into them, and I snapped on a bra. I sat back down in my black lace underwear. “Nice choice.” I said bashfully.

“It isn’t like that.” He said quietly.

“Your performance was good, too.” I looked at him as his fingers rested on the inside of my thigh, cutting away at the stitches.

“You have an easy lead to follow.”

His fingers felt warm against my skin. “It was nice for a second. To forget about all the bad stuff. This morning in the water, it almost all felt normal.”

“It did.”

“You’ve been quiet ever since you and Sam agreed to bring me.” I said reaching out for him so he would look at me.

“When I look at you…”

“You what?”

“I see what that motherfucker did to you. I see you laying there naked and bleeding. Asking me for help, and I’m chained to the goddamn wall watching another good person get torn apart.”

I scooted toward him and took the knife from his hand sitting it down. I met his eyes. “I see it too, but not like that. Before you show up when he was…” I looked away.

“Hey.” He said tilting my chin towards him. “I’m sorry to make this about me. You can tell me anything.”

I swallowed hard. Looking at him I knew he was telling me the truth. “I don’t have relationships, Dean. When I was younger…” I sighed.

“You don’t have to tell me unless you want to, Ava.”

“I do.” I bit my lip. “I want to.” I touched his cheek. “When I was 18, right before I joined the force I got jumped in an alley. I was raped. It put me in the hospital for a month. He almost killed me.”

“That son of a bitch.”

“It isn’t the fact that it’s a demon, Dean. That doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s that it happened again.” I closed my eyes, unable to stop a tear from rolling down my cheek.

He caught the tear with his thumb. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

I opened my eyes and his face was closer to mine. “I haven’t let anyone close to me since. I can’t take the risk.”

I heard his breath hitch in his throat. “But you’re sitting here with me… like this.”

“I know.” I said quietly. “I trust you. I have since I met you. I know you’d never hurt me. You may annoy me.” I smiled a little. “But I know you’ll always protect me.”

“Damn straight I will.” He leaned into my hand, and placed his hand over mine on his cheek. “Let’s get all of these stitches out. Lay back.”

I followed his instruction and closed my eyes.

“I’m going to touch your leg.” He said quietly, as he placed his fingers on the inside of my thigh again. He started snipping away, his fingers leaving little bits of electricity in my skin.

“Dean.” I exhaled his name.

“Yeah?” He asked, his hand on my stomach, finishing up the stitches.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He pulled the last stitch away and leaned in, pressing a warm kiss to the pink scar on my abdomen. “Get dressed.” He said standing.

I opened my eyes, chills running down my spine. I stood up and slid into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt.

“Sam will be back any minute.” Dean said, as he put his knife back in his pocket. “I need some air.” He exhaled pushing out of the motel into the night.

Dean

I needed a cold shower, but the night air would have to do. I walked away from the door to our room and unlocked the Impala, pulling my emergency whiskey out from under the seat.

“How’s she doing?” Sam asked as he walked up to the car.

“Not good, Sammy. I think we need to leave her out of this one.”

“The vamp scare her?”

I shook my head. “No, actually.”

“She’s like no other girl I’ve ever met.”

“What? You’ve got a thing for her?”

“Don’t you?” Sam laughed. “I saw that kiss, Dean. That seemed for real.”

“We were just acting.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“No matter what it was to me, she told me herself that it was nothing. It’s not my place to hope that it’s something it’s not.” I took a swig from the bottle. “Where do I get off thinking someone like her would consider me anyway?”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“Me? With my GED and give em hell attitude? I’m not really someone a girl like her wants to bring home to Dad. Or er… Bobby. Damn I’m going to hell just for thinking about her. I should go to Bobby now, so he can put me out of my own misery.”

“Dean.” Sam laughed reaching for the bottle. I handed it to him and he took a swig. “I think if you acted happy she was around she may actually like your company, but she thinks you don’t even like her.”

“Fuck. Of course I like her. What am I? A monster?” _Debatable_.

“Maybe you should, I don’t know, show it?”

I shrugged him off and took back the bottle. “Mind your own, Sam.”

Sam smiled at me with a shrug. “I’m just sayin.”

“Yeah well keep it to yourself.” I took another swig and put the bottle back. I picked up a hair tie that was under the seat and I smiled to myself. Ava. I picked it up and slid it onto my wrist. “Lets go back and make a plan.” I said locking the door. “They’re probably out on the prowl. We need to find the nest so we can attack in the morning.”

We made our way back to the room. “Ave.” I said as we opened the door. “We need to talk about the nest.”

I looked around the room with a frown. She was nowhere to be found. Even the bathroom was empty.

“Dean.” Sam said, kneeling by her bed. He stood up and showed me wet blood on his fingers.


	7. Darkness

Dean

“I’m going to rip their lungs out and feed it to them.” I shouted, almost putting my fist through the motel drywall. “How did they sneak her out of here without us seeing?” _I said I would protect her. Now she’s going to die._ “Please tell me you found the location of the nest.”

“I’m working on it.”

“Working on it?! Sammy she’s dead if we don’t get to her. She may be dead already!”

“I know that.” Sam said, his jaw tight. He was leaning over his computer, gripping the cell phone in his hands. 

I sat down and put my face in my hands. _I didn’t say… she doesn’t know. Fuck._

I looked up when I heard my cell phone ringing on the bedside table. I reached for it. It was her. “Ava.”

“Dean.” I could hear her voice shake. She was trying to be strong. She was _alive._

“Are you okay? They didn’t hurt you did they?” I gripped my phone tightly.

“Dean Winchester.” A females voice purred back at me. “Your little girlfriend is alive. For now.”

“If you hurt a hair on her head I will kill you, you dumb bitch.” I growled into the phone. 

“Like how you killed my husband?”

“Monsters get married?”

The vampire laughed in my ear. It made me sick to my stomach. “More often than hunters do, from what I hear. Not very loyal. You just kill, kill, kill.”

Sam stood up, and pointed at the computer. _Got it_. He mouthed. We jogged to the car, but I intended to keep them on the phone. As long as she was talking Ava was still alive.

“That’s rich coming from you. What about those couples from the beach?”

We got into the car. Sam hopped in the drivers side. My machete sat on my lap.

“You’ll see.”

“Dean! Don’t come! They’re going to…” _Click_.

“Damn it! Please tell me we are almost there!”

“Five more minutes.” Sam said, turning a corner quickly.

“Damn it! If they kill her I don’t know what I’ll do.” I gripped the handle of the machete, my knuckles white. 

“I know.” Sam said quietly. “Me too.”

We came to a stop in front of a small house on the beach. “We get her first. Kill everything in sight. I don’t care what happens to me, Sammy, but we have to help her.”

“Agreed.” He said. “I’ll take the front.”

Ava

“They should be here any minute. I’ve heard about the Winchester’s.” The vampire said as she walked around me. “But I never knew they traveled with a girl. Their Achilles heal was always each other, but now. _You_.” She ran her index finger along my shoulders, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.

They cuffed me with my own cuffs from my bag. My hands were behind my back and latched to the chair in the center of the room. “Bite me, bitch.” I said. The back of my head stung from where she knocked me out, but other than that they hadn’t hurt me. Yet. 

“I plan on it. Right when your boyfriends show up.”

“I sure hope they won’t be that stupid.” I said, knowing very well that they would show up.

Thankfully, it hadn’t been my first time getting cuffed and my jeans had a spare Bobby-pin in my back pocket for this exact reason. I was working on picking the lock. Twisting the bobby-pin just waiting for it to make the satisfying click.

I scoped the room for anything I could use as a weapon. “What are you doing with the girls?”

“It’s not what I’m doing.” She shrugged. “It was father.”

“Father?”

“My husband.” She said smoothly, leaning against the wall across from me.

“You call you husband… father? That’s kind of creepy.”

“He made all of us. He gave us instructions. I don’t know what we will do now. All I know is first I’m killing you and your boys.”

Bingo. I thought as my eyes rested on a wooden baseball bat against the wall. It may not take off the head, but I can flatten it.

I twisted the pin a few more times. There were three vampires. _Can I take all three?_ “You know you don’t have to do what he says. He’s gone. You can live your own life.”

“Sounds like you haven’t ever been in love before.” She said with a growl.

“You’re right, I haven’t.” Click. _Bingo._

“You’re going to die not knowing what it’s like. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.” She turned away, to look at a photo on the mantel. _Guess the whole, vampires don’t show up in pictures thing was a myth. The more ya know._

I slid out of my cuffs and ran to the bat. One of the other women lunged for me, but I was able to grab the bat and swing. It collided with her skull, sending her backwards. I hit her again for good measure, but I didn’t anticipate the second to come at me from behind. There was an intense pain and then everything went dark.

Dean

I came up on the back door and slowly opened it. I slid in, and looked around. No sign of vamps, no sign of Ava.

“No!” I heard a scream. Fuck this. I thought, as I broke off into a run, through the kitchen and into the living room. Ava was strung up by her arms, her feet barely touching the ground. She was out cold. _I’ll kill them_. There was a dead vamp, with its head bashed into a pancake next to a wooden baseball bat. The other two were huddled around her. I could see Sam coming across the room through another hallway. I nodded to him. He ran to the vamps, and I ran to Ava.

I hopped onto a chair next to her and cut the ropes off of her wrists. She fell into my arms. I grabbed the back of her head to keep her from whipping around. Sam got the jump on the female vamps and cut their heads off before they could turn. One rolled away with a shocked expression stuck on her face.

Ava’s eyes fluttered open. “I told you not to come.”

“I don’t listen very well.” I said, cradling her in my arms. There was so much I wanted to say, but I was at a loss. So I stayed quiet.

“That’s pretty obvious.” She smiled weakly, her eyelids half open.

“You good?” I asked, my fingers in her hair.

“A little sore.” She reached up and touched her head. “But I’m good.”

“That vamp,” I pointed to the collapsed skull on the ground. “Did you do that?”

“Mhmm. Broke out of my cuffs.”

“That’s my girl.” I mumbled, noting her busted lip.

“What did you say?”

“Uh, good job with the fang.” I swallowed hard. 

“Oh. Thanks.” She exhaled. “Um, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Is that my hair tie?” She pointed to my wrist.

“Oh, uh yeah. It was on the floor in the car. I figured you’d want it. To put your hair up, or whatever.” I went to take it off and give it to her.

“No, um. You keep it.” She smiled, her hand resting on my wrist. .

“Not to break up the love fest, but we should get out of here.”

“Right.” I said. “Can you walk?”

“Yeah.” Ava said. I let her down. Her legs seemed weak, and she almost fell over. I caught her by her elbows. 

“Hey.” I whispered. “Let me help you.” She nodded to me, and leaned against my side. I wrapped an arm around her to support her as we made our way back to the car. 

It was almost ten when we made it into the motel. Ava put her sweatshirt on and slid into her shorts, and cuddled into bed.

“Stay awake.” Sam instructed. “You lost consciousness. You could have a concussion. I don’t want you slipping into a coma.”

“Great.” Ava sighed. She glanced at Sam and saluted him. “Whatever you say, Doc.” 

“I’ll stay up with you.” I offered, remembering what Sam said. _You like her, idiot. Act like it._

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Okay.” She said with a slight smile, and a shrug.

Sam put in headphones and rolled away from us to give us some privacy. I clicked off the light. 

“Do you mind if I sit?”

“Please.” She whispered scooting over. I lowered myself onto her bed, suddenly conscious of how close I was to her.

“So,” I began, leaning against the headboard. “How’d you gank the vamp? You looked a little tied up when I got there.”

“I wasn’t always hanging. They had me cuffed in my own handcuffs.”

“You had a key?”

“A bobby-pin.” I could see her grinning in the darkness.

“That’s awesome.”

“Being a woman has its obvious perks.”

I was quiet for a second, trying to decide how to phrase it. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I’m not so helpless. Regardless of how it looked.”

“I know that.”

“Good.” She whispered. She was on her side, facing me in the darkness. Curled into a small ball. She looked so tiny, but I knew better than to think she was as breakable as she looked. She was strong.

She was quiet for a few minutes, her breathing even. “Hey, don’t fall asleep.” I said, reaching out to her. She jumped slightly when I touched her arm.

“Sorry,” she yawned. “You’re just _so_ boring.”

“Shut up.” I pulled my hand away. “Want to go for a drive?”

“Sure.” She yawned, sitting up.

I put my jacket back on and she slid into her shoes. We exited the motel. “Where are we going?”

“Where do you want to go?” I asked, half expecting her to say _home_.

“Take me to the beach.”

“Done.”

She slid into the car, her feet curled into the seat. She looked like she belonged there, next to me as a I drove.

I put the car in gear. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

She turned her head toward me. “This?”

“Hunting. What else?”

“Yeah. I’m sure.” She was staring at me, I could feel her eyes heating up my neck. “You know in the force they can teach you how to shoot, and aim. They can teach you how to run, and understand motives and clues. There is one thing they can’t teach you. Instinct. You have it or you don’t. It isn’t just the fact that I give it my all that got me to detective. I have instinct.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“Why?”

“Because if you had any instinct you wouldn’t be in the car with me.”

“Why do you think that?” She asked.

“Because we keep getting you hurt. At every turn. We’re like a disease. I am. I can’t bring you any happiness.”

“Dean you think you’re this darkness. Just because you’ve seen darkness doesn’t mean that’s what you are.”

“How many times do you have to get hurt before you believe me? Before you learn?”

“How many times will you? How many times have you and Sam been strung up? Gotten hurt?”

I pulled up to the beach and parked. I turned to her. She had a point. “We have to live this life. You don’t.”

She reached forward and touched my cheek. “You hold this weight on your shoulders. It’s chipping away at you. I know, because I’ve seen the same look in the mirror.”

I leaned against her hand. She understood me more than I wanted to admit.

“Want to walk with me?”

I nodded. We got out of the car, and walked toward the beach. Ava took off her shoes and held them in her free hand. I followed her lead. She walked with her toes in the water. “It’s cold.” I said, eyeing her feet.

“It reminds me I’m alive.”

“Hm.”

“What?” She asked, bumping me with her hip. “You’re so serious all the time.”

“I haven’t always been.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Usually Sammy is the serious one.”

She stopped, putting a hand on my arm. She looked up at me. I could see the moon reflecting in her eyes. “Life is short, Dean. We see that every day. Don’t spend it unhappy.”

“I’m not unhappy.”

Ava shook her head and sat down her shoes, so she could take my hands in hers. Her watch beeped on her wrist. She looked down at it. 12am. She stood on her tip toes in the sand and pressed her lips to mine. I closed my eyes and melted into her. I let my hands leave hers so I could pull her against me. I needed to be close to her. Her lips parted, inviting me in. I depended the kiss, letting my tongue touch hers. It sent shocks down my spine. I squeezed her in my arms and she pulled away slightly, pressing her forehead to mine. “Happy new year, Dean.”

_Happy is right._


	8. Bobby

Sam

We had been on the road a week. I didn't know what happened the night of New Year's Eve, but something was different with Dean. He was making jokes, listening to music on the car, and drumming along on the steering wheel.

Ava mostly sat in the back, but I watched him look at her in the rear view mirror. "Pour some sugar on me!" She sang along with the radio.

Dean laughed and sang with her. I shrugged and sang too. She was infectious like that. When the song ended I leaned forward and turned down the music. "So little town in North Dakota locals are turning up dead with their hearts missing from their chests."

"That narrows it down." 

"They think it was an animal attack." I added.

"Probably was."

Ava leaned forward, poking her head between the two of us. "And that's code for?"

"Werewolves." Dean and I said together.

"It's never a dull day with you two, is it?"

"Not really." I grinned cheekily.

"Alright so how do we kill Lon Chaney?" Ava asked. Dean glanced at her, it sounded like something that he had said before.

"Silver bullets."

"Silver." She said slowly. "Like in the movies."

"Yup." Dean said.

"Sounds like fun." She said resting her hand on his shoulder.

"Should be a ride." He grinned.

I shook my head with a smile. "It isn't as easy as it sounds."

"I'm counting on that." Ava retorted. "I'm all healed up, Sam. I'm ready for another fight."

"She's got the taste." Dean said wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"I don't want to know what you mean by that."

"Gross!" Ava exclaimed. "In your dreams, Winchester." She said slapping Deans arm.

"Hey, I'm trying to drive. Calm down, Rocky."

"Quit with your insinuations, then."

"It was a joke." Dean said with an eye roll.

"Boys." Ava grumbled.

_I guess things are back to normal._

As if on cue the engine puttered, and started to slow. "Damn it!" Dean groaned, as he pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Karma." Ava coughed.

"Hey, shut it." Dean grumbled, tossing his door open. He popped the hood to reveal and cloud of gray. The engine was smoking. "Damn it!"

I eyed Ava and we both exited the car. "What's going on?"

"I don't know yet." I sighed, shaking my head. "But it looks like we are stuck for now."

"Great." I sighed. "There was a little town a few miles back. I'll make my way over there and see if I can get us a tow. I'll bring lunch."

"Thanks, Sam."

Ava

Sam started to walk and once he was out of ear shot I rushed to Dean, poking out from the other side of the hood. "I thought we weren't going to talk about the kiss."

"We aren't. You are." He said leaning over the engine, avoiding my gaze.

"What's with the comments, then?"

"I was having a good day." He mumbled with a half hearted shrug. "I felt good."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry. I'm an asshole."

"No, you're not."

" _Happy new year, Dean.”_

" _What was that for?" He asked, breathless._

" _It was a New Years kiss." I said slowly._

" _We don't really celebrate holidays."_

" _Well, I do." I wanted to kiss him again. It felt good. He tasted like whiskey, he was warm, and safe._

" _Can't say I'm upset." He smiled. He looked happy._

" _Neither am I." I smiled back at him. I leaned back up, and kissed him again. Just once. Quick. Like we could do it a million more times. Even though we wouldn't. Even though that would be the last time._

" _And what was that one for?"_

" _Just making sure you're real."_

" _I'm real." He smiled. "Is this?"_

" _It could be." I peeled my eyes away from his. "Maybe in another life."_

" _Right."_

" _We have too much to worry about. Can't risk it on a fling." I pulled myself out of his arms. "We have this moment, this beach, but we can't tell Sam. We can't talk about it again."_

" _I understand."_

"I shouldn't have brought it up." I said.

He sighed and shook his head. He stepped away from the car. "You've got to stop apologizing." He took a step towards me, wiping his oily hands on his jeans. "You didn't want to talk about it. I'm not talking about it." His hands were up in defense. "But I'm not going to pretend that I didn't like it. I can't. Not that good of an actor."

He was an inch from me, his breath on my face. "Ava, I get why you wouldn't want to be with me. Why you wouldn't want to try." He put a hand on each side of my face, searching me for an answer. Searching me for anything.

"It's not like that."

"It doesn't matter what it's like. I'm just telling you, while I still have the nerve."

He paused for a moment, and I thought he was going to kiss me. He let my face go and turned back to the car.

My heart was pounding in my chest, as I watched him tinker with the car. I needed to clear the air. I popped the trunk and pulled out the cooler, and opened him a beer. "Here." I said handing it to him.

"Thanks."

"Cheers." I said, clinking bottles with him. "It's crazy to me that you know how to fix this."

"She is my baby." He said, running his hand along the hood. "I've been learning about her my whole life."

"Good with your hands."

"She flirts." He said, downing some of his beer. He gazed back into his car.

"Easy Casanova." I took a swig.

He smiled into the steam. "Hand me a wrench?"

"Sure." I said, pulling out the toolbox. I handed him the wrench.

"Thanks."

"Do you think we will be up and running soon?"

"You in a rush?"

I looked down at my beer. "Maybe I should join Sam."

"Can't wait to get away from me?"

"Something like that." I said, turning away. "I'm going to try to get some shut eye." I opened the back seat and laid down. My jacket was balled up under my head. _I can't get close. We will hurt each other._

I closed my eyes.

Dean

Sam was back in an hour. Ava was still asleep in the back, or avoiding me with her eyes closed.

"She okay?" Sam asked as he parked the tow truck he 'borrowed'.

"I don't know." I sighed. She was complicated. I didn't do complicated.

"What's been up with you two? It's been all rainbows and now you're fighting?"

"Whose brilliant idea was it to take a girl on the road?" I asked, eyeing Sam.

"I'm not the one fighting with her." He shrugged.

"You're helpful."

"I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on, Dean."

I groaned and rubbed my face. "It doesn't matter." I said wiping some oil off my face. I had shredded my jacket and wore only my white undershirt. "Hey sleeping beauty." I said knocking on the backseat window. "We are headed into town."

"Great." She mumbled, wiping her eyes. She was cute when she first woke up, with her puffy eyes and wild curls sticking up all over her head. She balled her hair up into a bun, and wiped some drool off her cheek. 

She got out of the car and settled into the bench seat in the tow truck. Sam and I hitched up the Impala and started down the road, Ava smack between us.

Sam turned quickly to avoid a pot hole and Ava fell into my lap. "Hey sweetheart." I grinned, trying to make light.

She rolled her eyes and scooted off of me.

_This is gonna be a long ride._

A thirty minute drive in silence ended with us pulling up to our digs for the night. It was a little nicer than what we were used to. We dropped off the Impala in front of our room, and I hopped out so Sam could return the borrowed truck. "I'm gonna work on her some more."

"You aren't hungry?" Ava asked, eyeing me.

"Nope." I said, as my stomach growled. _Traitor._

"Get in the truck, Dean. We can get pie."

"Bring some back for me."

Before they could drive away my phone rang. "Bobby?" I asked, flipping the phone open.

"Hey, I'm on my way to a case. A few hours from home, in North Dakota."

"Werewolves?"

"How'd you know?" Bobby asked.

Ava's eyebrow was raised, as she leaned against the truck.

"We were on our way there."

"Great. I'll meet you there."

"Wait, Bobby. I can't."

"Why, son? People are dyin."

I sighed. "I know they are. We are broken down."

"Where? I'll pick you up."

"We are in Freeman. Oh, and Bobby?" I said taking in a deep breath.

"Yeah?"

"Don't kill me, but we have a guest with us." I glanced at Ava. 

"Why would I kill you?" Bobby asked and then paused. I could hear him groan. "You didn't bring her. Tell me you didn't."

Ava walked up to me with an eye roll and took my phone from my hand. "Hey, Uncle Bobby."

She pursed her lips. "Yeah. Before you get upset, he tried to stop me." She said. She shook her head with a laugh. "You know me, I'm stubborn."

She looked at her feet and then back up to me. "Yeah, okay." She handed me the phone back.

"You idgits! What did I say?" I winced. "She's off limits, Dean."

"Have you met her, Bobby?" I asked, turning my back to Ava. "She doesn't take no for an answer."

"How did this happen?"

I glanced over my shoulder. "Demon got its nails in her. We got her out, but it's not safe for her to be alone anymore. You know that."

"So she's safer with you two knuckleheads?"

"I told her to stay with you. She said no."

"And I'm sure you fought her hard on that."

I sighed. "Are you coming or not, Bobby?"

"I'm already on my way."

I turned the phone off and grinned awkwardly at Sam. "Hope you're ready for the old man to pull a knife on us."

"He will get over it." Ava said cooly.

"I guess I will take you up on the pie, Sammy. I'd like my last meal."

We dropped off the truck and walked to the nearest diner. Ava ordered a milkshake and a large order of fries. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger and a piece of apple pie.

"He will get over it." Ava said for the third time since we arrived at the diner.

"You keep saying that."

"It's just kind of a betrayal." Sam tried to explain. "He told us no and we did it anyway."

The diner door chimes and Bobby stormed in, red faced, wearing a tattered flannel and the same dirty hat he's worn my whole life.

Ava

I stood up the moment I saw Bobby. "Listen here you three! We need to have a discussion."

Bobby looked taken off guard as I snapped and pointed to my seat next to Sam. His eyes were wide, but he obliged, lowering myself into the booth.

"I know you three think that I'm a child, or something that needs to be protected, but news flash. I'm an adult." My jaw was tight as I stared at the three men that were becoming the most important people in my life. "Dean, get over what's happened. Life is dangerous, but I'm fine. So stop brooding around here, Eeyore. You're depressing as hell. Sam, stop trying to push Dean, and I together. It's honestly weird and pretty annoying. Nothing is happening, and the more you push the more awkward things get. And you." I said turning my attention to Bobby. "I'm really glad to see you." I said pulling him into a hug.

"Can we talk outside?" He asked me, against my hair.

"Sure." I said, allowing him to stand. I followed him out the front door to the diner.

"What are you doing, Ava? We tried to keep you out of this."

I took a deep breath before rolling up my shirt to show him the pink scars on my stomach. "The same bastard that killed my mom gave me these, and many more like them."

"So it's revenge?"

"I couldn't stay in that apartment. Not after that." I sighed. "Why do you all act like the Winchester's are so bad. Do you think they're bad men?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then what? I can't figure it out. Dean beats himself up constantly. You're pissed that I'm with them, but yet you told me you trust them with your life."

"I do. That's not the problem."

"What is it, then?" I crossed my arms.

"The people they love die, Ava. That's it. Simple as that."

"They don't love me." I frowned.

Bobby laughed and adjusted his hat. "If that ain't the dumbest thing I've heard all week. Of course they do. They don't let his anyone go with them on the road. Or haven't you figured that out? These boys have the biggest hearts. It's going to get them killed, and I just don't want you dyin along with them."


	9. Tonight

Ava

The four of us were cramped in Bobby's car. Dean sat in the back with me and Sam sat up front, claiming the back seat was hard for his long legs. I guess he didn't listen to me after all. I had my bare feet up in the seat, and I was braiding and unbraiding my hair over and over again, trying not to stare at Dean. Which was hard, considering he was only wearing that white T-shirt. Droplets If sweat were on his neck, making his skin glisten. 

It was impossible not to be distracted by him when I was sitting that close. I wondered if he felt the same as he repeatedly snapped my hair tie against his wrist. I noticed he still hadn't taken it off.

"So what's the plan when we get to town?" I asked, leaning forward, ripping my eyes from the muscles on the back of Deans neck that connected in to his shoulders, under that thin cotton shirt. 

"We will do our suits routine." Sam said, "interview the locals."

"Fake FBI agents?" I asked, eyeing Dean. "Like the shit you pulled on me?"

"Works most of the time." He grunted, avoiding my gaze.

"Great. I have practice being, ya know, actual law enforcement."

"I think you, and I will be doing research, kid." Bobby said from the front seat. "We don't need all four of us surveying the town."

"So, why do I have to be on research?"

"The boys are good at what they do, and I'll need help hitting the books"

I laughed. "I found Dean out in under ten minutes, no offense." I said eyeing Dean.

"Yeah, well most locals we meet aren't like you." Dean said smoothly, almost sounding annoyed.

"Thank god for that or this car would be pretty full." I snapped, moving my feet back to the floor board. "I just don't want to be benched, because you're all afraid I'm going to get hurt."

Sam glanced back at me. "We aren't benching you. Someone has to do the research, and usually it's me. It's important to know what we are up against."

"I thought we knew..."

"We assume." Bobby said. "But we don't know. We need to know how the Vic's are connected. You're good at putting the pieces together. That's why I want you to research."

I crossed my arms and looked out the window. "Fine. You got it."

I could feel Deans eyes on me, but when I turned he was looking out the window, too, still snapping the band on his wrist.

We pulled up to the motel. "I booked you a single." Bobby said with a grunt, tossing me my key card. "I assume that's how you've been traveling."

"Yup." Dean, Sam, and I said at once.

"I'll bring my stuff inside." I added, clearing my throat. 

"I'll meet you in a minute and we can start in." Bobby said with a nod.

Dean

When Ava was out of sight Bobby turned to me. "What were you two thinking?"

I groaned and shook my head. "Come on, Bobby. What do you want us to do, throw her out?"

"No you idgit. You're stuck with her now, but I swear if something happens to her I'll kill ya."

"Trust me, Bobby, if something happens to her I'll let you." I said seriously.

Sam and I made our way to our room and I fell back onto my bed with a groan. From me and the old mattress.

"Want to talk about it now?"

I didn't bother looking at Sam. I closed my eyes. "No, Dr Phil. I don't want to talk about it."

"Well then get up. We have a case to work."

"You're a thorn in my side, Sammy."

"Yeah, yeah."

We got into our suits. I tied my tie, buttoned my sleeves, and strapped myself in. The real Dean camouflaged into Agent Jacob Sampson with the FBI.

Sammy and I decided to go to the morgue first.

We held up our badges. "I'm Agent Sampson, and this is Agent Rogers. We are here investigating the deaths of Rob Thompson and Ali Becker."

"The FBI is interested in an animal attack?"

"Could be a part of a fighting ring." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Man, in this town?"

"Can we just see the bodies." Sam said giving me a look.

The coroner slid out the trays, and sure enough their hearts were missing. Their bodies torn at as if by an animal. "Is there anything else suspicious about the case?"

"Other than their hearts being eaten?" The coroner asked.

"A simple no would do it pal." I said annoyed. "Come on, let's go."

We pushed out of the morgue. "Definitely our kind of thing." I told Sam.

"Sure looks like it."

We crossed the street back to the Impala. We had lost valuable daylight getting stuck, and waiting for Bobby. It was getting close to feeding time. I dialed Bobby's number. "Hey bobby. This is definitely our thing. Do you have anything connecting the victims?"

"Other than them being dog chow, not much."

"Great. We will look around. Call if you find anything."

"Nothing?" Sam asked.

"Nada. Let's go ask some locals."

"Which is Dean for visit a bar?"

I shrugged. "I could use beer."

Sam laughed. "Just one, we are working."

"We are always working, Sammy."

We pushed through the front door of the bar and sat at the bar rail.

The busty blonde bartender leaned over and smiled brightly at me. "Hey, cutie. What can I get you?"

"That's Agent cutie." I said, flashing my badge.

"What can I do for you Agent?" She asked, pushing her cleavage together with her arms.

"You can start by covering that up." I frowned, gesturing to her exposed chest. 

"Sorry." She said standing up.

"We are wondering about these people. Have you seen them around here?" I asked, laying out the images of the victims.

"Actually, yeah." She said picking them up. "They were regulars here. I don't understand, though, I already talked to the police about this."

Sam and I exchanged a look.

"Because they were found out back?" She asked, looking between us. "That's why you're asking, right?"

"Right." Sam said with a grunt. "Let's go check it out." He whispered to me.

I nodded and we stood. "Thanks for your time."

We walked toward the back exit of the bar. "What was the deal with you asking her to cover up?"

I looked at him. "She shouldn't be half naked serving drinks." I shrugged. "It's unsanitary."

"I've seen you have a girl grab money out of your mouth with her boobs, Dean. I don't think that's ever been a problem before now."

"I'm getting older, Sam. I can't risk herpies like I used to."

"Uh huh."

We pushed through the back door, causing a _ding._

The back alley looked, and smelled like a regular back alley. Dumpster, rats, the whole nine. "Anything look suspicious to you?"

Sam was crouching. "No." He frowned. "I don't remember the article saying they were found here. Do you?"

I turned and squinted into the darkness. "No. I don't." I turned to see a flash of blonde before pain, and darkness.

Ava

Bobby had left an hour ago, saying he needed to check out a lead since Dean and Sam weren't answering. I was laying on my stomach clicking through the victims social media. I sat up and pulled the laptop into my lap when I saw that they both had a mutual friend. Holly Barnes. She was Rob's ex and Ali's friend. It was pretty obvious that Ali and Rob we're together. Every picture of them together was kissing. Except for one of the three of them, but in that photo Holly looked enraged. Her hands were fists at her side despite the fake smile plastered on her face. 

"Looks like a motive to me, and hearts? Could be symbolic." I took out my phone and rang Bobby. It rang five times before rolling to voicemail, I tried Sam and Dean with the same result. "Come on, boys. Where are you?"

I exhaled and slid into my shoes and coat and headed to Blue, the bar Holly worked at. I pushed through the door and looked around the room for the slutty blonde. If she was a wolf she would be changing at any time, the moon was high in the sky. My silver knife, and gun felt cool against my bare skin.

She was nowhere in sight. “Excuse me." I said, waving down the bartender. "I'm a classmate of Holly's, and I was supposed to pick up my half of our project. Is she here?"

He shook his head. "She was sick so she left a few hours ago."

"Do you have her address? I'd love to drop by and get the homework. We will fail if we don't get it completed."

"Sure thing." He said, and he scribbled it on a napkin.

"Thanks!" I said, taking the address an putting it in my pocket.

I jogged out the back door and immediately noticed the droplets of blood near the dumpster. "Damn it, boys." I said, before running to Hollys house Thankfully it was only a few blocks away, and I was still in pretty good shape from working on the force.

The house was small, and I didn't see any lights on, but part of me knew they were there. I circled the house and stopped at the storm shelter in the back corner of the yard. _Bingo._ I jogged over to it, watching my back. The yard seemed empty, quiet.

There was a light coming through the cracks in the door. I crouched down and listened for any kind of sound. No one was talking. That's either good or bad. They're either alone, or they're dead.

I pulled a bobby-pin out of my hair, and after a minute the lock on the doors clicked open. I opened the door and slowly descended the stairs, taking care for the creaks.

They were definitely alone down there. The three tied in opposite corners of the room. Bobby and Dean were knocked out, but Sam looked like he was gaining consciousness. 

"Sam." I said, going to him. I cut through his rope restraints, and tried to pull him back awake. "Hey, good morning.” I smiled at him, hoping to keep him from panicking. 

He blinked a few times. "Ava."

"Hey big guy, we have to hurry." I said patting his cheeks. “Can you get Bobby? I'll cut Dean loose." I handed him my extra silver knife.

"Yeah." He nodded standing. "Ava it's the bartender." He said quietly, weakly.

"I know."

He went to Bobby and started to untie him. I went to Dean. I cut his hands and feet free and patted his cheeks. "Dean." I said, my face close to his. "Dean wake up." His eyes fluttered a little. "Come on, wake up." His eyes opened slowly, but he looked groggy, his eyes glazed over. 

"Am I dead?" He mumbled. 

"No. You're fine. I'm here to save your ass. You and the boys club." I grinned. His eyes fluttered again, like he was about to pass out. "Nope. Get up." I pulled on his arm, flinging it over my shoulder. "Guess it's my turn to stay up all night with you."

Bobby stood up, able to shake off his sleep pretty quickly. "Let's get out of here." He said.

"Not so fast." A voice said from the top of the stairs.

"Holly." I said looking up at the blonde. I looked to Sam for help with Dean. "You did it because she hurt you, right?" I asked, trying to stall. 

"You don't understand." She said slowly walking down the stairs.

"I might." I grabbed for the gun in the elastic of my jeans.

"The two people I loved most in the world betrayed me. We were supposed to be together and he left me for her."

"So you turned and you killed them."

"I didn't mean to, not really. My wolf must've felt the hate." She held her chest.

"So why did you kidnap them?" I gestured to the guys. 

"He basically called me a slut." She pointed past me to Dean, slumped against Sam.

"Doesn't sounds like him."

"People can surprise you, trust me. Killing him will do you a favor."

"I can't let you do that." I said, resting my finger on the trigger, ready to pull it on her if she moved.

"It's not really up to you." She said with a growl, lunging forward off the stairs. In a second I pulled my gun up and shot. She landed, limp at my feet. She died instantly there, blood coming out of her mouth. 

“Good shot, kid.” Bobby said quietly, his mouth hanging open.

Sam looked to Bobby. "Let's get rid of the body." Then he turned to me. "Can you manage to get him back to the motel? We can meet you there."

"Sure, can you guys help me get him to the street? I'll call a cab." I said, sliding myself under him. "Dean." I whispered.

Sam took his other side and we got him to the street and into a cab. His head rested on my shoulder as we got back to the motel.

"He drank too much?" The cabby asked, eyeing him. 

"Something like that." I said, handing the cab driver some cash. "Come on, Dean." I said, pulling him along with some difficulty. I was strong, but he was over two hundred pounds of dead weight, making my shoulder scream out in pain. 

He groaned and opened his eyes. He was awake, but obviously foggy. He continued to lean on me until we reached my room. I realized I didn't have his key and I wasn't about to search through his pockets while he was so unstable. I helped him sit on my bed and I sat next to him. "How're you doing?" I asked him, shining my flash light in his eyes. His pupils were responsive. That was a good sign. 

"Ow." He complained, waving my light away.

"You're like a drunk girl." I complained.

"You are a girl." He countered.

"What gave it away?"

"You're pretty."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "I wish you were more with it. It'd be nice to rub in this save."

"I am with it." He whispered. "You're just pretty. Thought you should know."

I stood up and took a beer from the fridge, avoiding his heavy eyes. I could feel heat roll up my neck and onto my cheek bones. 

"Where'd she get you?"

He patted the back of his head, and I pressed the cold bottle to it. He winced but nodded. "Thanks."

I crouched in front of him, resting my hands on his knees. "I saved your life."

"You did."

"Don't ever underestimate me again." I stood, pushing off of his knees. I grabbed another beer and opened it. I took a drink.

I looked back at him after a moment. "Why didn't you go for Holly? From what I understand it isn't like you to turn down a busty blonde."

He shrugged. "I guess I just want more."

"Hm." I said, finishing the beer. I cracked open another, eyeing him.

"Do you ever feel like the world is screwed up?"

"Daily." I said.

"Ava, I.." he stood and started to fall, I reached out to grab him, but ended up shoving him back down. I came down with him. His weight was heavy on me, and his lips were near my face causing my heart rate to raise rapidly. 

"Dean! You're crushing me." I said, gasping.

He propped himself up, still hovering over me. "Sorry." He breathed. His head slumped a bit before meeting my eyes. "It hurts, ya know."

"Yeah." I said, touching his head. "She knocked you good."

"Not that." He sighed. "Being this close to you and knowing I can't kiss you."

"Dean..."

"I know you don't want me to talk about it, but when I was tied up in there. Before she hit me again I just kept thinking I may never see you again, and I couldn't think of a shittier way to die."

"You don't even know me." I whispered, cupping his face.

"Maybe, but I want to know more."

"This is just the head trauma, isn't it?"

"You tell me."

I bit my lip.

"You're so cute when you do that." He groaned. "It's torture, you know? Being around you. Everything you do is just so... fucking cute."

My nose winkled in annoyance, and I shoved him off of me by his chest, causing him to land on his back on the mattress. "There you go again! Treating me like a little helpless girl. I just saved your ass, ya know!" I stood up, poking his chest.

"I didn't say you were helpless. I said you were cute." He propped himself up on his elbows. "You are. You're also smart, daring, and unbelievably sexy, Ava." He drawled our the word sexy, and then my name rolled off his tongue like it was meant to be there. _Holy shit._

"And what if it is a fever dream?"

He sat up all the way. "Then we can forget about it when we wake up."

"You say it like it'll be easy."

"It won't. But one night is better than nothing. If you want it."

I bit my lip again. I definitely wanted it. "Until the sun comes up, Winchester. Then things are back to normal. No more flirting. No more fighting. No more keeping me off cases." I walked to him.

"I like it when you're bossy." He said with a grin. He seemed to be feeling better.

"Shut up." I said resting my palm on his chest.

"Yes mam." He said pulling his arms up. He cupped my face and pressed his lips against mine. I melted into him, my lips parting, allowing his tongue to touch mine. He moved his hands from my face, and ran them down my back, gripping my thighs and ass in his hands. I groaned against him and I felt his mouth turn up into a smile. His hands slid into my shirt, feeling over my stomach and around to the skin on my back. His fingers were like electricity.

He kissed from my lips on my jaw, and down my neck. He nibbled against my skin but not enough to leave any marks. There would be no breaking our rules. I tugged at his shirt and he lifted his arms so I could pull it off of him. I pulled my face back to examine his chest. He had a tattoo, a circle with a pentagram design in the center. It was surrounded by deep black flames. I touched it with gentle fingers.

"It's so I won't get possessed." He explained.

He was strong. It was obvious by the muscles that rippled below his skin. By the scars that littered his chest. From cuts and bullets he won in battle. I reached forward to press my lips against them. He shivered against my lips and I smiled.

He ran his fingers along the hem of my shirt, and pulled it up and over my head. "You're beautiful." He commented, taking in my body.

"You've seen me before." I said shyly, thinking back to him pulling my stitches out.

"I was being respectful then." He said with a devilish grin.

My heart fluttered at the idea of him being disrespectful. My stomach was doing flip flops. 

He pulled me against him and with one flick my bra was loose around my breasts, hanging. I wiggle out of it and pressed my bare chest against his. He pulled me closer, needing me as much as I needed him.

The job was exhausting, it was painful, terrifying. I got the feeling that he's been lonely for a long time. _Not tonight. I can break my rule for tonight._

He flipped me over and hovered over me, taking everything in. I wanted to feel self conscious, but there was nothing but desire and adoration in his eyes. He kissed from my lips down my chest, and stomach. He unbuckled my jeans and pulled them down.

I eyed him, and he grinned unbuckling his own pants. We were on equal ground he climbed on top of me our bodies touching. He reached a hand out and brushed a hair out of my face. "Thanks for saving my life."

"Ditto." I said with a smile.

"You're not gonna thank Sam like this are you?"

I pursed my lips. "Are _you?_ "

"Let's stop talking about Sam."

"Good idea." I said with a smile, bringing his lips back to mine.

I knew it was a bad idea. It could mess up everything. It probably would, but his hands and lips on my skin made me feel more alive than I'd felt in a long time.

My back arched as his hand slid under the black lace. He chucked low. He was unbelievably sexy. He rolled my underwear away and tossed his next to mine. I opened my eyes, and I knew in that moment that he would never hurt me. I could see it in his eyes. He was a killer. He fought monsters, shot first and asked questions later, but he was gentle, too. _The people they love die._ Bobby's words echoed in my head. _Love._

"Come back to planet earth." He whispered in my ear. "You're here with me." He smiled, and leaned into my lips. Our lips pressed together tenderly. It was slow, and gentle. Not what you'd expect from Dean Winchester. I opened my eyes and nodded to him. He put his hand under the small of my back, arching me upwards as he slid into me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and stared into his eyes. I knew we could fight it all we wanted, but something changed between us. It was more than sex. It was more than the threat of death. Maybe it didn't have a name, or maybe I just wasn't ready to say it out loud yet.

"Dean." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his.

"Ava." He whispered back.

"I..."

He cut me off with a kiss, not letting me set fire to our moment. He was right, after all. One night was better than nothing.


	10. Family

Dean

Ava was in my arms. I still thought I was dreaming.

"Don't fall asleep." She said. She sounded tired herself. _She should be._ I grinned widely to myself in the darkness, resisting the urge to high five myself, like a fucking idiot. 

"I won't." My fingers were tangled in her hair, and drawing designs down her spine.

She was perfect. She was everything that I didn't know I wanted. The curve of her back, and the way her pale skin glowed in the moonlight through the blindes. They were creating a shadowed pattern on her back. I ran my fingers along the lines. 

"I might." She exhaled.

"You promised you'd stay awake."

"That was before the massive workout I just had."

"Would it help if we did it again?" I asked with a grin, leaning over her. 

Her eyelashes fluttered open. "Maybe."

I laughed and pulled her on top of me. "It's happening then."

She leaned forward, her hair falling around us. Then she kissed me, tender, like there was nothing else in the world. Like we were born to kiss each other.  _How will I let this go?_

"You've got to have brain damage." She said into my lips.

"I probably do."

I wanted to drown in her, and so I did. Twice.

We fell asleep tangled together, and I woke up with the sun coming through her blinds. She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. "Dean!" She shook me awake, well she shook me until I opened my eyes. 

"What?" I groaned. "I was having a great dream." I opened an eye. "Guess it wasn't a dream." I grinned cheekily.

"I thought you were in a coma! We weren’t supposed to sleep.”

I sighed with a laugh. "No, but I may be when Bobby realizes I slept in your room."

Ava's eyes widened. "Oh my god, what did we do?" Her hands covered her mouth as her eyes examined my naked chest. 

"Do you want a play by play?"

She hit my chest playfully. "Seriously, Dean. We said that it was just last night. We can't..."

I held her chin. "Ava, I know. You were very clear."

She bit her lip again. _Damn it she's beautiful._ "I don't want to be a tease."

"Don't worry about me. Wasn't my first one night stand." _Was my first with someone who actually matters, though._

"Good." She smiled, but I could see a sadness behind her eyes. "Now where did you put my panties?"

I sat up, sliding on my pants. "Nope." I said snatching them off the floor. "I'm keeping these. As a souvenir." I stuck the panties in my pocket.

She scooted to the end of the bed. "Are you going to sniff them or something?"

"No, I'm not fourteen."

"Just had to ask."

I put my shirt on and tossed her hers. She grabbed it, but I held on before she could turn away. "Thanks for last night. I needed it."

"Me too." She admitted.

I let go of the shirt and walked closer to her. I pressed my lips to her forehead, slowly. I needed to be close to her, even for a second. "See you later, Ave."

She gave me a small wave, just with her fingers, and I pushed out her door. It was pouring rain outside. I shoved the panties deeper into my pocket and jogged to my room. I opened the door and stepped in to find Sam sitting on his bed, drinking coffee. "Morning." He looked at me suspiciously. I wondered how long he was sitting there with his legs crossed waiting for me to sneak in. 

"Hey." I said awkwardly, shaking the water off my head. 

"You were with Ava?"

"It wasn't like that." I lied.

"Wasn't like what?" Sam asked innocently.

"You know what. We just talked."

"All night?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." I scoffed. "My head was pretty messed up. She didn't want me to die in my sleep. So sue me."

"You're cranky." Sam laughed.

"I didn't sleep. You'd be cranky too."

"Yeah, you definitely didn't have sex. If you had you'd be way happier." Sam stood and made me a cup of coffee.

He was wrong. I was flying high. It was knowing I wouldn't get to do it again that was making me crash.

"Does Bobby know I was with her all night?"

"No. I told him I was going to get you when we got back. You should be in the clear."

"Good." I sighed. "I wasn't ready to die today.”

"I guess now we go back and work on the Impala."

I nodded. "Guess so."

Bobby knocked before pushing his way into the motel room. "How're you doin son?"

"Good." I grunted. "Didn't get much sleep."

"Glad your brain isn't broken. Well any more than usual." He chuckled. "What now for you kids?"

"Need to go fix baby."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Why don't I get a tow that'll take it to my place? Then you kids can stay for awhile while you fix it up."

"That sounds great." Ava said, leaning against the door frame, her bag over her shoulder.

I raised an eyebrow at her. _Really?_

She shrugged.

_I guess the fun really is over._ "Yeah okay. Make the call. We will pack."

Ava and I sat in the back of the car again. The drive was a little longer back to Bobby's and soon she was knocked out, leaning on my shoulder. The image of her skin against mine still on the forefront of my mind. My skin still burned where she kissed me. I looked down at her and half expected her to look up and slide her tongue in my mouth.

"You two seem awfully comfortable." Bobby commented.

"She's just tired, I guess." I said with a shrug.

"Sure." Bobby said under his breath.

Sam eyed me in the rear view mirror. _Why am I not getting the third degree?_

"Keep your eyes on the road, Bobby. Now that my brain isn't going to hemorrhage I think I'm going to try some shut eye as well." I said, settling in. I rested my head against the window.

Sam

Dean was asleep with Ava in the backseat. The more time they spent together, the more I questioned what Dean said about their night together.

I looked to Bobby. "We like her a lot. She gets along really well with us."

"She's a good kid."

I looked back at my brother. It was the most relaxed I'd seen him in awhile. "She's doing something to Dean."

Bobby turned to me. "What are you saying, Sam?"

"Not like that." I groaned. "But look at them. She gives him some kind of peace."

"She's had a rough time of it. I've never seen her in a relationship. Not her whole life. Not even any friends. She's very guarded."

"Who does that sound like?"

"Yeah, I know." Bobby sighed.

It sounded like Dean.

"Maybe it's time that they find some happiness, is all I'm saying."

"What about you? You like having her around?"

"Of course. I love Ava. She's probably my best friend." I explained.

"I love you boys. Don't get me wrong. I just already watch you both get scrambled over each other. All you do is worry about him and all he does is worry about you. I don't want you to have one more person to worry about all the time."

"She's already family. She was the moment he met her. She's stubborn like we are, a fighter, and she already loves the hunt. We don't want anything to happen to her. Family is everything to us, Bobby. You know that. We will protect her even if it kills us."

"That's what I'm worried about."

We pulled into Bobby's place and the four of us went into the house.

"My baby is here. So I'm unpacking and heading right out." Dean said with a grin.

Dean and I took the upstairs room next to Bobbys, and Ava took the spare bedroom on the main floor.

"I think Bobby is coming around to the idea of Ava coming along." I told Dean as I sat down my bag.

"That's good, considering I don't think she would leave us even if we made her.”

"Yeah I don’t think we can make her do anything.” I laughed. “She seems like she’s getting pretty comfortable." I said sitting on my bed. I remembered sleeping in the twin bed as a kid, across from Dean when Dad would leave us with Bobby. "It's weird being back here."

"Kind of, yeah." He agreed as he sat on his own old mattress. "Sort of dejavu."

"You'd tell me, right?"

"Tell you what, Sam?" He asked with a sigh.

"If something was going on with you and Ava."

"What's your obsession?"

I shrugged. "I just like her, okay? So I'd like to know if the dynamic of our lives is going to change."

"You like her?"

"Not like that. Like a best friend. Like family."

"I know what you mean." He nodded and he closed his eyes for a minute like he was considering something. "Fine, I'll tell you, but you can't say anything. You can't make it weird."

I nodded. "Yeah, okay. Deal. I'll keep cool. What is it?" I leaned forward, anxious for his explanation. 

"I don't know." He rubbed his face. "Being with her is different, man. Ya know? I've never... wanted anything before. I've never let myself want it. But now, with her. I want it all. I'm scared to want it all. Now I have something else to lose."

I smiled. "Dean, that's the point. The point of living is having things worth losing. I may not always be here, and hell, I don't want you to be all alone. What's so bad about giving it a chance?"

"She doesn't want it."

I laughed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, she's made that pretty damn clear."

"Dean, you two are miserable without each other. That's pretty obvious. The way you argue. She doesn't argue like that with me."

He looked up at me. "I don't think I can have something normal. Never have.”

"After everything we have done, I think at least one of us should be happy." I shrugged.

"So you think I should go for it? Really?"

"Why not?"

"What if she says no? What if she leaves us? I'd rather have this than nothing."

I looked at my older brother. He was vulnerable. I'd never seen him like that. I'd never seen him care about a woman like this, but I also had never met someone like her before.

"Just try, Dean. She's not going to leave." I reached out and touched his arm. "Just try...you have way more to lose by not trying."

"Okay, Mary Poppins, enough of the feel good. This is starting to feel like a Hallmark special." He shrugged me off. "I'll think about it. I'm gonna get a beer and work on baby."

Ava

After I was finished unpacking, I sat down on my full sized bed. I laid flat on my back and closed my eyes. I could still see flashes of Dean over me. His mouth kissing down my stomach. His lips and tongue.. I opened my eyes, trying to shake off the memory. "I need a beer." I said to myself as I hopped up and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer out of the door and sat at the kitchen table. I glanced out the window to see Dean tinkering with the Impala. He had on a white T-shirt and was leaning over the engine. He wiped a bead of sweat off of his face despite the winter chill in the air. I drank the rest of the beer quickly, before cracking open another one.

Dean looked up from his car, and I turned my face away to look like I wasn't staring. It probably wouldn't help much.

I glanced up through my hair and he was back at his car. Maybe he didn’t notice. 

"Hey kiddo." Bobby said, walking into the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Man does the family drink too much." I said with a smile.

"Gotta with our line of work." He winked.

"Tell me about it." I smiled into my bottle.

"I never said thanks for last night."

"I never said thanks for everything else." I smiled at him. "You were there for Dad and me when Mom died."

"She was my little sister." He shrugged. "It was no big deal." He took a swig from his own beer. “That’s what family does for family.”

"And then you were there for me when Dad died. I don't know what's worse, cancer or demons." I laughed and shook my head.

"I'll always be there for you, kiddo."

"Even if I want to do this job? Have this life?"

Bobby smiled and sat across from me. "Even if. I did want more for you, though. We all did."

"This feels like more, Uncle Bobby." I took another drink, finishing my second bottle. I stood to grab another. "I'm actually saving people. Not working some bullshit case where the bad guy gets away, and the victim gets blamed. You find the bad guy, you kill him. End of story."

"It ain't always that easy, kid. A lot of the time it doesn't end up as good as it has with the cases you’ve done so far. Just want you to be prepared."

"I've seen things already that keep me up at night, but I don't know. The rest just feels right." _Being with Sam and Dean feels right._

"It's in your blood, kid." He said knowingly. He glanced from me to the window and back to me. "Well, this old man is tired. I'm gonna retire for the night. You kids stay out of trouble, ya hear."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever."


	11. Rain

 Dean

I checked the oil for the third time. My head wasn't in the game. I was still swimming with Sams advice. I couldn't do it, obviously. There was too much of a risk, plus she already told me what she wanted. No sense in acting like I didn’t hear her. Pretending I didn’t hang onto every word that came out of her mouth. 

I leaned over the engine, heat rising from it. "Come on, baby. Give me the answers." I whispered. 

She had none, and neither did I. All I did all day was work on the Impala. It was a safe haven in the wake of the mess of crazy my life had become. I shut the hood and walked inside. I needed a break before I drove myself even crazier than I already was. 

"I'm waiting for a part to ship in from fucking China." I groaned, cracking open a beer. "I take such good care of this car and now _this._ "

"You're so dramatic." Ava said, walking into the kitchen. Her hair was tied up in a towel. She was fresh out of a shower. I got a waft of her mango soap. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to expel the image of her naked beneath me. Of the way her raven curls spilled across my pillow. 

"I just don't like being stuck in one place for too long."

"Hm." Ava said, opening the fridge. "God we need to go to the store. All you boys have is beer and bacon. How do you survive?"

I shrugged. "Beers all you need."

"Well I'm going to the store to get real food. Any requests?"

"Pie, obviously." I grunted.

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a child."

"You love it." I grinned before taking another swig of my beer.

"You wish." She took the towel out of her hair and shook out her wet curls.

"You're going into town?" Sam asked, coming into the kitchen. "Drinking already?" He eyed me.

"Bite me, Sammy."

"Yeah, I'm going to go to the store. Want to come?"

Sam shrugged. "Sure. It'd be nice to see something other than Deans ugly mug."

"You're lucky to see my face."

"Come on, boys." Ava said with another eye roll. "Sam I'm going to dry my hair. Meet you out front in fifteen?"

"Sure."

She walked back to her room, and I heard the blow dryer turn on.

"Gonna hangout with Ava?" I asked spinning my bottle cap.

"Why not?"

"Nothing. Have fun." I stood up. "I'm gonna go work on baby."

Ava

I drove one of Bobby's old beaters in town with Sam by my side. "You really just wanted to get out of the house?"

"Yeah, it was getting stuffy in there from all the angst." Sam joked.

"Very funny."

"I don't really think it's funny." Sam grinned. "We need to get him on a job soon before he gets cabin fever."

"We will all get cabin fever at this rate." I laughed, pulling into the super market.

We walked down the aisles, Sam pulled healthy food out and set it in the cart, and I grabbed snacks I knew Dean would like. I included three different kinds of pie, hoping to improve his sour mood.

"Bobby seems less on edge." I commented, comparing cereals.

"Yeah, I think he's coming around."

"Good." I smiled deciding to put both in the cart. "I'd hate to have something happen and him be mad at me."

"Ava I'm not sure if anyone can be mad at you." Sam laughed.

"Tell that to the perps I put away."

"Ditto." Sam chuckled. "You did good the other night, by the way. In case I haven't mentioned yet."

"Thanks." I pushed my hair behind my ear.

"We are lucky to have you with us. Even if we don't always act like it." He put his hands in his pockets. "And not just for the fight. I like having you around. You have a light that I think Dean and I have needed for awhile."

"I think I needed you guys, too." I met Sams eyes. "I didn't realize how alone I was until I actually had you two."

"I know what you mean."

"Alright. Let's do this, but just the once. It doesn't need to be weird."

"Do...What?" He asked as I threw my arms around his neck. I pulled him close in a tight hug. He chuckled and hugged me back. "Right."

We pulled apart, and I smiled at him. "You know I never wanted a brother."

"But you've got one." He said rustling my hair.

"Merry Christmas to me." I said, flattening the top of my hair. "Let's go home. Hopefully Dean hasn't drowned in motor oil."

"Or cheap beer."

"Not sure which is worse." I grinned.

We went home and unpacked the groceries. I cooked spaghetti for the boys, and they were so grateful for something other than stale chips and beer they didn't even make jokes. Sam graciously did the dishes while I had an after dinner beer.

I had a decent buzz going when Sam finally went to bed. It was getting late, but I knew I couldn't sleep as long as Dean was out working on the car. Call me maternal, but I didn't want anyone to be outside when I slept. Especially not while Dean was in his headspace.

I was four beers in when the thunder started. First in the distance with lightening, then closer, rumbling and threatening above our heads. He was still out working on the car, he was focused. He worked with the light in Bobby's lot. The wind was howling, and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

"Dean." I said running outside. "It's about to come down. You should close up shop." My hair was whipping around my head from the wind. I pushed it out of my face, just to have it whip back. 

"Don't tell me what to do, Ava. I'm fine right here." He said twisting a wrench inside the engine.

"Come on, Dean. Don't be stubborn." I crossed my arms, the wind biting through my sweater. 

"I'm not being anything." He grumbled.

"God, why are you such an ass?"

The sky rumbled again, and big droplets began to fall from the sky. "See, Dean! It's raining.” I threw my hands in the air. “Not really the time to be Mr Fix it!"

Dean shut the hood on the Impala and stared at me. "You just get off bossing me around, don't you?"

"What? No!" The sky rumbled again, and lightening lit up his face. He was in pain. His face twisted within its self. His green eyes glowed in the white light from the sky. "Let's just go inside." I begged, reaching my arm out to him.

"No. I'm going to keep working on my car, because that's something I can do. That's something I have a handle on."

I stared at him. The rain soaking him, exposing the color under his white shirt. His hair was wet and his jaw was tight.

"Just come inside, please." I said, my voice soft.

"No." He said taking a step toward me.

"Come on you stubborn ass!" I said pushing him. My hands colliding with his chest. "Do you want to get pneumonia?"

"Want to talk about stubborn? Fine." He took a step closer to me, closing the space between us. "Be with me.” He said, his voice low. “Give this a chance. It'll probably end bloody, because every damn thing I do does. That doesn't mean it isn't right, though." He put his hands on my arms holding me in place gently. "Tell me you don't want this. Don't say we can't, just tell me you don't want this, and l'll leave it be. What do you want, Ava? This yo-yo act is exhausting."

I stared up at him, with my mouth wide open. I didn't know what to say. What can you say to that?

"What do you want, Ava? Do you feel it or was the other night really nothing?" He cupped my face in his hands.

"How do I know if it's worth the risk? What if we lose everything?" I squeaked. I’d never felt weaker than in that moment. I felt so small within his touch, under the weight of his gaze. The hunger in his eyes. I was drowning in all that he wanted from me.

It was almost impossible to hear without shouting in the rain, but somehow the white noise put us in a bubble. It was just Dean and I in the world. 

"What if we gain everything? We can have this. You and me." His voice softened. "It's real, Ava. I can tell."

"You're pretty convincing." I breathed.

"Do you want me to beg? Help me out here, Ave. I spilled my soul here. How do you feel?"

"I feel... terrified."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't want to lose you." I admitted, my bottom lip trembling. "I've never let myself get this close before."

"You won't ever lose me. Even if this all falls apart... you're our family, now. We don't give up on family."

"I'm going to regret this." I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

"So you're saying?"

"Yes."

"What? I can't hear you?" He shouted through the rain with a million dollar grin.

"I said yes!"

"Thank god." He pulled my lips to his. He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around him. The rain washed over us, cooling me to the bone.

He held me up with one hand on my ass, the other in my hair. He bit down on my lower lip, pulling it in between his lips, sucking on it gently. I groaned against his mouth. A chill went down my spine as he gripped me tighter in his hands. "Are you cold?" He asked.

I nodded, unable to bring words to my mouth.

"Let's go inside." He said low against my ear before carrying me back into Bobby's. We pushed through the front door into the dinning room, not worrying who may be lingering up this late at nights 

"My room." I gasped, pointing in the direction. He carried me into my room with little effort, our lips never parting. I reached behind me and pushed the door shut, and he clicked the lock.

_We are really doing this._

I reached down and peeled my wet shirt off, and heard it smack as it hit the floor. "I could get used to this." He said bringing my body against his.

"Let's move this somewhere warmer." I said, pressing my lips to the space behind his ear.

He grinned. "You've got it." He walked me into the attached bathroom. "Hold on." He said, sitting me on the counter. He kissed me again, before turning on the shower. "There we go." He turned back to me after testing the water. He peeled his shirt off and wiggled out of his pants before coming to me and unbuckling my jeans. He pulled them off leaving us both naked, and yearning for each other. I slid down off the counter and stepped into the shower.

The warm water washed over my skin causing me to shiver. Dean stepped in behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head. "Better?"

"Much." I turned to face him, and pressed my body against his. "We are really doing this?"

"Yeah." He said, putting his arms around me. "I think we are."

"Okay." I said trying to kiss him.

"Okay." He agreed, leaning down to kiss me back.

—————

We woke up tangled together. He was still asleep when I opened my eyes. His chest was rising and falling. I quickly learned that I didn't have nightmares when I slept next to him. I nuzzled closer, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat under his skin. I pressed my lips to his chest.

"Mmm."

I glanced up at him as he pulled me closer.

"Morning."

"Shh." He said, burying his face in my hair. "I'm not ready to wake up."

"Why?" I asked rolling on top of him.

"It's morning."

"Yeah." I looked down at him. "That's why I said good morning."

"So this is for real? You're not going to tell me that we're back in Kansas, Auntie Em?"

"It is. We just have to decide."

"Decide what?" He asked, twisting his fingers in one of my curls.

"What are we?"

His forehead wrinkled in deep though. "Dating?"

"Then are you going to ask me out?" I laughed. _Dating Dean Winchester._

He flipped me over quickly, taking my breath away. "Ava Langston, do you want to go on a date with me?"

"Like, clothed?"

"If you want." He grinned.

_Talk about cute._

"Have you ever taken a girl on a date before?"

"Yeah, but nothing that counted." He said leaning in to kiss me.

"Dean!" Sam called from the other room. "Your package is here."

"I guess that's my cue." He said kissing me one more time before standing up and getting dressed. "We will be on the road by dark." He grinned.

"I guess we will rain check the date then." I smiled back at him. "Go play with your car. I need to tame this mess." I said running my fingers through my tangles.

"I like it like that." He said kissing me one more time. He put his shirt on and slid out of the room.

Dean

Within a few hours the Impala was up and running, good as new. "Hello beautiful." I said running my hands over the hood of the car. I lowered myself into the drivers sear, and pulled out my flask, taking a swig.

"Got her up and running?" Sam asked, lowering himself into the passenger seat.

"No one likes a watcher, Sam."

He rolled his eyes.

"But yes. She's good to go. Figure we can leave in an hour."

"Leave to go where?"

"I figured you'd find a case for us when we hit the road."

"Why are you so eager to get out of here?" Sam asked.

I wasn't sure if we were telling people, but as I turned to my brother I couldn't swallow it down.

"It's Ava."

"As I expected. Want to talk about it?"

"We are... dating."

"You're dating? What do you mean?"

"I mean, dating, Sam. Do you need me to get you a dictionary?"

"Really?" He asked, a look of shock stuck on his face.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, and you're taking all the fun out of it."

"All the fun?" He grinned. "How did this happen?

"I took your advice and told her how I felt." I shrugged. "I guess she decided it was worth the risk." I smiled. "I was worth the risk."

"I'm happy for you." Sam said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you two about done making eyes at each other?" Ava asked as she walked up to the car. "I have lunch ready."

Sam and I eyed each other. _My woman._

We got out of the car and Sam headed back up to the house. Ava walked up to me and put her hand on my chest. "You told Sam."

"What?" I asked, avoiding her eyes. I could feel her glare so I sighed and met her eyes. "Yes. Are you mad?"

"No." She pursed her lips before she smiled. "If you're telling Sam that means you think it'll work out. You're saying you believe in this."

"I do."

"Good. Should we tell Bobby?"

"Do you want me to die before I get to take you on that date?"

"Touché."

We walked in side by side, our hands barely touching as we walked. It felt like we were keeping a secret. It was sexy.

"Did ya get the car fixed?" Bobby asked, as we walked into the house.

"Yup. Good as new."

"Good." He said, tossing me the newspaper. "Because I have a case for you."


	12. Part of Your World

Ava

I applied my lipstick and slid into my heels as the boys tied their ties. I pinned back my hair, knowing how useful a spare Bobby-pin can be. I slid my new fake FBI badge into my blazer, and strapped my gun to my inner thigh.

Dean eyed me from across the room. His mouth was hanging open. Our cross country road trip had taken us to a small island off North Carolina where fishermen were disappearing.

"Alright Agents. Let's get going." I said, giddy. Dean winked at me.

Sam made a face like he was grossed out, but he literally asked for this so I figured he shouldn't complain.

We got in the Impala, Dean and I upfront and Sam in the back.

Our four day road trip had been filled with laughter, rock singalongs, and greasy road food. Things with Dean so far were pretty blissful. Maybe it would work out after all.

We went to the morgue first. I lead the way in, my heels clicking. "Agent Williams, these are my subordinates Agent Wilde and Agent Morrison."

The boys flashed their badges, and Dean cracked a small smile.

"Agent Williams." The coroner nodded. "What can I help you with?"

I flipped my hair over my shoulder. "We are looking into the missing men in your town. I've heard that one finally showed up."

"Washed up, is more like it.” He frowned. “The FBI is interested in a drowning?"

Dean stepped forward. "It's protocol to look into any case with this many victims. These are five men."

"Take it easy." I said, cooly. "Just show us the body."

The coroner looked between us and unzipped the body from the bag. His skin was pale and slightly blue. He was swollen.

I leaned in to the corpse, and I picked up his hand. "What did you make of these marks?" I pointed at small cuts.

He shrugged. "It's hard to tell. Maybe scraping against rocks when he came to shore.

"Sort of looks like cuts made by gills." I frowned. "Like a Grouper." I examined all the small cuts. "Looks like he put up a fight with multiple fish."

"Unlikely. Those types of fish usually dwell deeper than he could've been in. Otherwise he wouldn’t have washed up."

I looked over the man a little more. I squinted. It looked like there was something in his mouth. "Open his mouth." I instructed. The coroner raised his eyebrow, and I grabbed a glove off the side table. When I turned Sam and Dean gave me a crazy look. I rolled my eyes. _Babies._

The coroner propped open his jaw and I reached into his mouth with my index finger and thumb. _Bingo._ I thought as I pulled out a long piece of plant. "What do you make of this?"

"It looks like seaweed."

"So you think he sucked in this thing and choked to death?" Sam asked.

"No." I said, popping the mouth back open before pulling out a sharp piece of coral. "I think he was murdered. This ripped a hole in his windpipe. Doubt he was chewing on coral for fun."

Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

"That'll be all." I said with a smile. I handed him my card. "Call if anything else comes up."

"Will do."

We pushed out into the cold, salty air. "So, what do we think?" Dean asked me, meeting my strides.

I stopped and turned to them. "We are looking for something with sharp gills, that drown fishermen by stuffing things down their throat. I'm not the monster expert, so does that sound familiar to either of you?"

Sam sighed. "No. It doesn't."

I looked at Dean. "So what now?"

"Now Sammy goes and does some research."

"Why Sam?"

"Because I owe you a date." He said cheekily.

"We can't go on a date, Dean." I rolled my eyes. "We're working."

"We're always working." He countered.

"Fine. One beer, and we are going to still talk about the case." I said crossing my arms.

"I love when you’re bossy."

"Sam you'll call when you figure something out?"

"Roger that." Sam agreed before getting in the car and heading back to the motel.

Dean looked at me with a grin. "So."

"So?"

"This is going well."

"Don't jinx it, Winchester." I said grabbing his hand. "Let's have that drink."

We walked to the bar, and both sat up at the bar rail. We ordered two beers and the bartender handed me mine. I turned to Dean and caught him staring. "What?"

"I was just thinking that this was dejavu, _Detective._ "

I grinned. "It is, Agent." I smiled and took a swig of my beer. "I thought you were such an ass."

"I am."

"You're not." I said biting my lip. "You're just guarded. Just like me."

He reached his arm behind me and placed a kiss on my shoulder. "Two peas in a pod."

"Yeah." I smiled and took a sip. "Anyway, the case." I said, changing the subject.

"You're all business. It's sexy." He grinned.

"Focus, Dean." I snapped. "What do you think?"

He looked into his bottle. "I don't know. Never seen something like this before."

"You've never seen a creature that's sea dwelling?"

"No, but it may not be in the sea. Could be a spirit on a boat, or something."

"Very insightful." I laughed.

"Well, what's your idea?" He frowned.

"I don't know. Siren?"

"Nah, they don't live in the water. They don't really present like this."

"Maybe it's a shark ghost or a mermaid."

"Very funny."

I shrugged.

My phone rang, and I answered. "Sam."

"You guys won't believe this."

"Lay it on me. It's going to be way more than what we have here." I winked at Dean.

"I think... I think it's a mermaid."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"What?" Dean asked.

"Hold on, Sam." I said. "Dean we need to go somewhere private."

Dean nodded and we snuck into the back, one stall bathroom. I locked the door. "I've imagined this, but in my fantasy Sam isn't on the phone."

I rolled my eyes and clicked speaker. "Okay, Sam. We must've had a bad connection. Say it again."

I could hear Sam sigh. "I said I think it's a mermaid."

"Sam, have you been watching too much Disney again?" Dean asked.

"No. You know there's tons of lore on it. Everything I read says they're a bad Oman. Men showing up drowned. Some lore even says that they eat flesh."

"Creepy." I said with a shiver. "So if it is one, how do we kill it?"

"Stab to the heart."

"Easy enough." Dean shrugged.

"Except it has to be from a stake forged from the remnants of a shipwreck."

"Of course it does." Dean groaned. "Why is it never easy?"

"Then it wouldn't be any fun." I grinned.

"Sammy, did you find anything similar about the victims?"

"Other than the fact they're all fishermen? No. Not really. Although, I did manage to hear the latest victims 911 call. Which got me to this conclusion."

"Can you play it for us, Sam?" I asked.

"Sure... hold on."

" _911 what's your emergency?"_

" _There's a woman! She's drowning! I'm going in after her, send an ambulance! We are at the pier."_

" _Sir, please remain calm."_

The phone sounded jostled, a splash.

" _Mam! Oh god. You're... no!"_

There was screaming, splashing, and then nothing. The line goes dead.

"Shit." I said, looking at Dean from across the bathroom.

"Sounds suspicious for sure." Dean agreed. "So where are we going to find a shipwreck weapon?"

"In a town like this." I offered. "Should be pretty easy to find."

"Yeah, I'm working on that." Sam said.

Dean raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "Give us a call when you find it. We have a date to finish." He reached out and turned off my phone.

"Maybe we should go by the pier make sure no more fishermen get pulled under." I said going to unlock the bathroom door.

"Hey." Dean said, grabbing my hand. "Are you okay?"

I turned to look at him, and my heart softened. "I'm great." I stepped closer to him and pressed my lips to his. "I'm just in the case. I have laser focus." I grinned.

He put a hand behind my head and pulled me into a hug. "Let's go to the pier. We can rain check this until after we catch our fish."

I smiled and exhaled with relief. "Thank you."

"Let's go before people get the wrong idea. Wouldn't want an internal affairs problem when they find out you're dating your subordinate." He winked unlocking the door.

"I was waiting for you to bring that up." I laughed.

"It's hot." He shrugged. "Let's go boss."

He patted my ass and we walked out of the bathroom, paid at the bar, and made our way to the pier.

I hooked my pinky with his and walked side by side. "How are you gonna run in those shoes?" He asked me.

"There are a lot of requirements for being a woman." I said flippantly. "We are expected to look pretty and be functional. So I chose to be more. I can run pretty good in these." I said shaking my foot. "But I can also kick them off in a pinch."

"Well, you don't have to wear them."

"You don't like them?" I asked lacing my fingers with his.

"I just don't want you at risk."

"That's sweet. So protective." I teased.

"I'm serious. Maybe stick to flat shoes. I don't want anything catching you." He said, stopping. He kissed my forehead.

"Come on Casanova." I said, pulling him to the pier.

My heels clicked on the wooden planks of the pier. I looked out toward the water, any signs of anything disturbing the glass. The ocean was calm.

"It's kind of messed up."

"What is?" He asked, looking at me.

"They're trying to be heroes. I wonder why they do it? Why they kill the men if they're trying to save the mermaids."

"Ava you'll learn pretty quickly that monsters are just monsters."

"Always?"

"Nah, there's exceptions. But they're far and few between."

I nodded knowingly. “Sucks when the world is so black and white.” I sighed and looked up at the night sky. "It's kind of peaceful out here." I murmured, mostly for myself.

"For a murder scene, sure." Dean grinned.

"Shut up." I grinned, glancing at him. Something was different about Dean. Since his confession in the rain he seemed more relaxed, like he finally let his hair down. Maybe he would let himself be happy. Maybe I could let myself be happy, too.

I looked back out at the water to see a head break through the surface. "Help!" He man shouted, gasping for air before he was sucked back under.

"Shit!" Dean said, before jumping up, and diving into the water.

Dean

"Dean!" I heard Ava shout as my hands hit the water.

It was dark, but I could vaguely see two shapes. They were thrashing together. I swam forward as fast as I could. I pulled the knife from my pocket.

The closer I swam the more defined the shapes were. The thing had its hands around the mans throat, and he was thrashing at her.

I swam closer and stabbed my knife into the things tail. It's mouth opened up to reveal layers of sharp teeth like a shark. Bubbles erupted from its mouth in a scream. It released the man and darted away, into the blackness of the sea. My lungs were burning as I swam up, towing the man with me. I gasped for air as soon as I broke through the top layer of water.

"Dean, oh my god. You were down there forever." She ran to the edge of the pier to help me pull the man out of the water. I pushed myself up and laid on my back.

"He isn't breathing." I gasped, coughing up some water myself. I rolled on my side and, I watched Ava press her hands to the mans chest and begin CPR.

After a few minutes he gasped out, spitting water. "Let's get him to the hospital." I said, making eye contact with her. "That thing will be back. This time we need to be ready."

Ava helped me load the man into the car and we left him at the ambulance bay. I let her drive because my head was pounding. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, reaching for my hand.

"I'm okay." I said with a cough. I squeezed her hand.

"Let's go regroup with Sam. Maybe he found a weapon."

"Good." I grunted. "Because the bitch still has my knife."

She pulled up to the motel and I walked into the room. I wiggled out of my wet jacket.

"Woah, what happened to you?" Sam asked, standing up.

"Went for a swim." I grunted.

"He saved another potential victim." Ava said, coming up behind me.

"Did you see it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Ugly motherfucker." I peeled off my shirt. "Any ideas on a weapon?"

"Actually, yeah. There's a museum that has genuine articles from a wreck that happened near here. Including an old sword. I think that'd work." Sam explained.

"When do we go get it?" I asked.

"Actually, I think you two should stay here. Rest and when I get back we can kill the thing."

"I think that's a good idea." Ava agreed.

"I'm fine."

"Give Sam twenty minutes to get the weapon and we will meet him. Come on, Dean."

I frowned. "Fine."

Ava and Sam nodded to each other and he jogged out the door.

"You better be glad you're cute." I grumbled at her.

"I am." She said walking to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm fine." I shrugged.

"I thought she drowned you."

"I wouldn't die by the little mermaid. That's pathetic..." Before I could finish my sarcastic thought she pressed her mouth to mine. My mouth still hung open in surprise before I corrected and kissed her back. "Hey." I said, pulling away a bit. "What was that for?"

"You scared me." She admitted quietly.

I ran my fingers through her hair. "This job is dangerous, but you can't get rid of me that easily."

"Yeah, you can't die before you take me on that date."

"I wouldn't dare." I grinned, pulling her closer to kiss her again.

Kissing Ava was unlike kissing any other woman. It was like the first kiss, over and over again. She made my stomach flip. She tasted delicious. With every kiss she breathed life into me.

"We should change." Ava said softly. "My skirt is wet."

I grinned widely. "I can help you with that." I started to unzip my slacks.

"Slow down pervert. It's not like that." She pointed to my soaked pants. "I was sitting on your lap and you got ocean water all over my skirt." She kissed my nose. "And as you pointed out earlier, this isn't exactly a fighting outfit." She walked to her suitcase and pulled out something more appropriate, including her pair of black converse. 

Sam was back in record time, holding a big ass sword and two diving wetsuits.

"No." I said at the same time as Ava said, "Yes!"

We walked up the pier looking fucking ridiculous. Ava walked behind us, laughing hysterically taking a million photos. If I didn't care about getting laid later I would toss her phone in the ocean. We wore the wet suit, goggles, and Sam even wore flippers. The sword was over my shoulder.

"You look cute." Ava commented.

"I'm naked under here." I teased.

"Ooh." She winked back.

"Hey, what's that?" Sam asked, stopping.

It was a woman, she sat on the bench on the pier. She was completely naked. Her dark hair had pieces of seaweed twisted into it. She was looking away, but even from here I could see my knife suck in her leg.

"Son of a bitch." I said under my breath.

Ava saw it a second after I did, and both of us took off in a run. Sam fast waddled behind us in his fins.

Ava pulled her gun out quickly and shot at the mermaid. She hit it in the shoulder and it turned, hissing and showing it's rows of fangs. It's eyes were dead, like a fishes, and it's skin was almost gray like a sharks. The closer we got the more grotesque she looked.

"Come here, bitch." I said as I lunged toward her.

She slid out of my way and grabbed Ava from behind. Her jaw was open and ready to take a bite out of Ava as she struggled. "Let her go." I growled. Sam was close, I could hear his flippers smacking the ground. He wasn't exactly inconspicuous.

"Make me." It hissed.

Ava made eye contact with me, opened her mouth, and bit into the things hand.

It howled and unnatural scream and it's hand flew back. "I love sushi." Ava said, stepping out of the way so I could push the sword into its chest.

"And I love skewars, but after today I think I will stick with burgers."

It withered and screamed, its fingers curling into itself, then it almost seemed to melt into water, seeping through the cracks in the pier back into the ocean.

"You good?" I asked Ava.

"I'm great." She smiled back to me.

We both turned to Sam and burst into laughter. He was bent over, trying to take off the damn flippers. "Quit playing around, Sam. We are working a case." Ava grinned.

"Shut up." He grumbled.

I picked up the sword. "Guess we better get this back."

"We can't keep it?" Ava asked with a pout.

"Do you want it for sex things or work things?"

"Work!" She looked disgusted then she paused, an eyebrow raised. "Wait, what kind of sex things?"

I laughed and shook my head.

"Is that a yes?"

"When have I ever said no to you?"

"True." She said, placing a kiss on my cheek.

That's what I loved about her. She was funny. She lit up the room. She was spectacular. She was mine.


	13. The Beginning

Ava

I wiped away the fog from the bathroom mirror to get a view of myself. My eyes looked tired, but there was a spark in them I hadn't noticed in awhile. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I towel dried my hair, and noticed that the motel room sounded a little too quiet. I pushed the door open to find Sam sitting alone. My towel was wrapped around my body.

"Where's Dean?"

Sam glanced at me with a sideways grin. "He wanted me to tell you that you owe him a date."

"What?"

"He wants me to take you to him whenever you're ready."

I smiled to myself. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Does he do this a lot? With other girls I mean. Before me?"

"No. I've never seen him put in this much effort."

I smiled to myself, my stomach flipping. "I'll get ready."

I diffused my hair to keep the curls and put on a light amount of makeup. I slid into my leggings, boots, and a flannel.

Sam took me in a car I was pretty sure he stole right outside of town near the shore. We drove for a bit, right out of town where the night was inky black.

We pulled up to the peer, and I caught sight of the Impala parked in the sand. I raised an eyebrow. It was just Dean, the ocean, and the stars.

"See you two later." Sam said, with an encouraging smile.

"Thanks." I smiled, putting my hand on the door handle. I turned back to him. "I really like him."

"I can tell that."

"It scares me."

"I think it scares him, too."

I pushed out into the night. The air off the ocean was chilly and made me shiver. Dean leaned against the hood of the Impala, his face to the sky. He turned when he heard me coming. "Hey. You made it."

"What's all this?" I asked as I walked to him.

"Here." He said handing me a beer.

"Ah, I knew I liked you." I took the beer and cracked it open. I took a swig and smiled. "So this is the big date?"

"I just wanted to be alone with you." He said. "The sky was clear. It made me think of you."

I laced my fingers with his and we both sat on the hood side by side. "Why did it remind you of me?"

"It's beautiful." He bumped me gently.

"Stargazing." I commented quietly. "That's pretty romantic, Winchester."

"I'm a little new at this." He admitted.

"I love it." I put my head on his shoulder. "I was really bad at astronomy in school."

"I never graduated. Barely went. Dad would just pull us from case to case. I got my GED."

"You do pretty well for yourself. It takes a lot of smarts to do what you guys do. The detective work, working the case. Trust me, I knew a lot of people who went to school that can't do it. They don't have the juice."

I scooted over to sit in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around me. "There aren't a lot of moments like this."

"Like what?"

"Quiet."

"It's nice." I closed my eyes. I knew I was safe with him. I felt his lips press against my cheek.

"It is." He agreed.

"So you aren't regretting this yet?"

"Ava." He breathed, turning me around by my hips. "I won't regret this. I never thought I could have anything normal."

"This isn't normal." I laughed.

"You're right." He touched my cheek. "It's so much better."

I turned around again, rewrapping his arms around me. "Do you plan on being a hunter forever?"

"I always thought I'd die doing it. What about you? You only have a few weeks left of leave."

I laughed quietly. "How could I go back? How could I ever let this go?"

We stayed up all night talking and drinking. He told me about the hunts he had been on, and I told him about some of my own cases. He told me how rough it was growing up on the road. I told him about growing up in a house, and about living in the same town my whole life. We agreed that there were many different ways to be lonely in the world.

He told me embarrassing stories about Sam and how he lost his virginity, and I refused to tell him how I lost mine. We discussed our favorite movies, and bad alcohol stories.

He told me that he never wanted to stop hunting, not really, but a apart of him wanted an apple pie life. That part of him that lived in between being awake and falling asleep.

I was falling in love with him under the endless night sky. He was sarcastic, and handsome. We kissed until our lips were swollen and we laughed until our ribs ached. We watched the sunrise over the ocean together, and I thought for a second they maybe things would pause like that forever. Frozen in time.

"We should go." He said. "Get some sleep. I'm sure Sam will have a new case before we can hit the pillow."

"Probably." I agreed.

He opened the passenger door for me and he climbed in the drivers seat. He turned the key and the Impala lit up with life.

"How was it?" He asked as he pulled up at the motel.

"How was what?" I yawned.

"The date."

"It was perfect." I said leaning over and kissing him. "We are sharing a room with Sam, but I'd love to climb into bed with you."

"You're in luck then. That's exactly what I had planned."

Dean

We were on a case. Ava was back at the motel doing some research, and Sam and I were in the Impala watching the house of a housewife that we expected was being targeted by a witch.

It'd been three months since our first date. We were treading lightly. Ava still had her own room, even if most nights I ended up in her bed, and we tried to go on a date every other week. Every day with her felt different. We were getting closer. Tipping over an edge.

The weather was warming up, and so we spent more time with the windows down. I watched her fight her hair as it flew around the Impala. She taught me how to braid, and my new favorite activity was practicing on her hair. I could stare at the black curls forever.

"So how's it goin?" Sam asked.

I looked at him over my binoculars. "Good." I shrugged.

"Things do seem good, don't they?"

"That's what I just said."

"I just mean..." Sam began. "I'm just surprised. I didn't expect Ava to stay this long."

"Me neither. You don't like having her here? I thought you were best buds."

"We are. She's probably my best and only friend." Sam laughed. "I just kept expecting her to go back to her life. Especially after every rough job."

"She takes it like a champ." I said, gritting my teeth. I didn't like thinking about Ava leaving. I especially didn't like it because she _should_ leave. This isn't the life for anyone. We were cursed. She didn't have to be.

"I'm even more surprised, though, about you two."

I put down the binoculars. "Just say it, Sammy. Spit it out."

"I've never seen you in a relationship, Dean, but there you are. You're braiding her hair."

"She taught you how to do it too." I frowned. _What is he getting at?_

"Yeah, but that's the kind of whipped shit I do." He shrugged. "I've just never seen you act like you act with her."

"And how is that?" I was getting annoyed, puffed up.

"Happy." Sam smiled softly. "Don't get me wrong. It's good. It's really good. I guess I just want to know what's next."

"What do you mean? We keep hunting. Obviously. As long as there are monsters to gank, I'll be there to gank them." I said, pulling the binoculars back up.

"You think she will want to do this forever?"

I tightened my grip on the binoculars. "I don't know, Sam. It's only been a few months. She isn't tired of us yet."

"I just want to know, Dean. What's next? You think you'll marry her?"

I put the binoculars back down and looked at him. "I'm trying not to think too hard about it, Sammy. You know what happens to couples in this work. They break up or they die. Either way we always die alone."

"I'm not trying to be cruel. I just really want to know. What do you want from this?"

"In a perfect world? Yeah. Of course I'd marry her. Have a bunch of kids, but this isn't a perfect world. This is our world. So I'll take whatever she will give me. I'll be with her as long as she will have me."

Sam looked at me knowingly. "Maybe you two should get your own room, then." He smiled, and then sighed. "I'm happy for you. It's what I should've had with Jess. I just don't want you to get hurt, ya know. If she decides she doesn't want this. Not everyone wants roadside burgers and risking their life everyday."

I leaned back in my seat and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Would you quit, if she asked you to?" Sam asked cautiously.

I closed my eyes. _Would I? Could I?_ "I don't know, Sammy. I don't think I could know unless it happened."

The truth was that she should've never come along in the first place. I should've hand cuffed her to the bed at Bobby's and left her. He could've talked some sense into her, but now? I wasn't sure I could leave her now even if I wanted to. I was selfish. If I was a better man I would walk away. If I was a better man I would do a lot of things.

"I don't want her to go, either." Sam said. "I love her, too."

He was my brother. He knew me. Even if I couldn't say it out loud. Sam was always better at that soft shit. Not me. I always ran. Hit em and quit em. Focus on the hunt. I was never the man who learned to French braid. All I knew about them is that they looked nice against a bare back. I would've never let a girl drive my car.

But Ava wasn't just some girl. She wasn't just some lay. She was it. Period. End of story. Roll credits.

"I've just been thinking about it," Sam continued. "So I wanted to bring it up."

"It'll probably end." I admitted. "She's too good. Too beautiful. Too smart. She would never stick around with the likes of me. Maybe you, Stanford. But me?" I shook my head. "Sex can only take a guy so far. In the end I'm just a loser with a good shot. But, fuck, I'd be an idiot if I didn't ride this as long as I could. She's better than I could ever dream."

"She's pretty spectacular."

"She's going to leave me someday. Leave us. She will want a life we can't give her, but if we aren't here to kill the monsters, Sammy, who will be dumb enough to do it?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you ever wish things were different?"

"Not every day, but yeah. Sometimes. More often now. The only time I've seen you happy is in this car, doing this job, but the truth is... that was nothing compared to how you look when you're with her. This job, this car, this _life_ doesn't even rank. So yeah. Lately I've wished things were different. I want you to have that happiness, man. You raised me, so it's the least you deserve."

I looked at my little brother with a smile. He still had that crazy long hair and kind eyes that he always had. He was my kid brother and I'd always see him that way. Knowing he loved Ava made me care about her even more, but it brought a wave of sadness over me. He should've had that too. He did, but I just had to come back into his life and fuck it all up.

I'm selfish. _Maybe I should just disappear into the night._

Even from across the street we could hear an audible scream from the house we were watching.

"Shit!" I shouted, jumping out of the car. Sam and I pushed through the front door to the woman's house to find her choking and spitting glass out of her mouth. She was clawing at her throat with her fake nails.

"Find the hex bag!" I shouted to Sam.

I caught the woman as she fell to her knees. "Hurry up Sammy!"

The woman coughed and spit blood and glass on me, the more she coughed the more she bled. "Got it!" Sam shouted as he lit the bag on fire.

The woman collapsed in my arms, and Sam and I locked eyes. "Fucking witches." I grumbled.

————

The house wife, Leila, was asleep in her hospital bed. Sam, Ava, and I stood around her room. She was okay, but not 100%.

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked to me.

"Leila you have to be honest." Ava said, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. "Who would want to hurt you?"

Her bottom lip poked out before she broke into tears. "I... I cheated."

Ava and I exchanged a look. "You think your husband?"

"You think he could've done this to me?" She choked out, her voice raw from the glass.

"It's possible." Sam said.

"Tell us about the person you cheated with." Ava said gently.

"She's married."

_She? Jesus._

Leila teared up again. "She has a nice family. A husband and a teenage daughter. Our husbands work together, but we aren't satisfied with them. You know? Not emotionally... or physically."

I wiped a bead of sweat off my brow. "We should check out the house."

"Can you give us the address?" Ava asked.

Ava

I knocked on the door of Leila's flame, Donna. I flashed my fake FBI badge at the door when she answered the door. "I'm Agent Roark, this is my partners Agent Nash, and Agent Lewis. We have a few questions. Do you mind if we come in?"

"Sure." Donna said, stepping out of the way so the three of us could enter her house.

"Do you mind if I use your powder room?" I asked.

Donna nodded and pointed me up the stairs.

I quietly made my way up the stairs. I glanced around, opening up doors. The first I opened was clearly the teenage daughters room, and boy was it eye opening.

Everything was dark. Her sheets were black satin and she had an alter set up in her closet. "Jesus." I whispered, as I picked up her spell book. There were photos of the victims with bloody X's on them. I shook my head and grabbed the photo, making my way downstairs.

"Can you tell me about your relationship with Leila Brandon?" I heard Dean ask.

"We are friends." Donna said smoothly.

"Friends with benefits?" I asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Excuse me?" Donna asked.

"It's the daughter." I said to Sam and Dean showing them the photos and the spell book. "Leila told us about your affair. How does your daughter feel about that?"

"This is inappropriate." Donna said, standing. "I think you all should leave."

"Listen," Sam began. "Leila was almost killed today, and we think your daughter did it."

"What?" A voice asked from the hall. We all turned and a young girl with black eyeliner stared at us with a frown. "You were in my room?" She eyed the book.

"You must be Megan, right?" I asked calmly.

"Veni." She said with her hand out. The book flew to her.

"Megan!" Donna gasped.

"Shh." Megan said with a frown. "You know if he finds out he will leave us."

"Honey I..."

"You really want to throw it all away on a gay experiment? You're not in college anymore, Mom."

"Sweetie, I don't understand. You're so open minded."

"I'm a witch, Mom, not a Democrat." She said before holding up a new photo of Leila. "I won't let you destroy our family."

I pulled my gun. "Put it down Megan."

"You first, bitch." She said and with a flick of her finger I flew, slamming into the wall.

My head smacked against the wall and my vision went black.

————-

"Ava, hey." Sam said, sitting next to me. I was back at the motel.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my head. "Where's Dean? What happened to Megan?"

"Slow down." He said, touching my shoulder to get me to lay back. "You hit your head pretty good."

"Tell me." I asked looking around. I felt sick to my stomach. Where was Dean?

"We had to take her out." Sam said sadly.

I looked down and sucked in my breath. "She was just a kid, Sam."

"She tried to kill Leila. She tried to kill you."

"Where's Dean?"

"He's taking care of the body."

"Fuck..."

"I let him go alone because I promised I'd make you rest."

"He didn't want to be here when I woke up?"

"I think he may just need some time." Sam said with a sad, forced smile.


	14. Walk Away

Dean

"I'm a witch, Mom, not a Democrat." Megan said before holding up a new photo of Leila. "I won't let you destroy our family."

Ava pulled out her gun from the waist of her pants. "Put it down Megan."

"You first, bitch." Megan said and with a flick of her finger Ava flew, slamming into the wall.

Sam ran towards her, in an attempt to restrain her and she flicked her finger, sending him flying.

"Megan!" Donna screamed. "What are you doing?"

"They're hunters, Mom." She said meeting my eyes. "They want to kill me."

I pulled my own gun on her, and with a raised eyebrow she twisted my hand, almost breaking it. My gun clattered to the floor, and I shouted in pain.

Ava stirred, attempting to throw her blade, and Megan turned toward her with an open palm and slowly closed it. Ava began to gasp, blood trickling from her eyes, nose, and mouth.

"Stop it!" I shouted.

Ava opened her mouth and more blood poured out. She gasped for air, choking on her own blood. 

Megan was so focused, stepping toward her, closing her fist the closer she got to Ava.

I stood and charged her, tackling her to the ground. My hit threw her off guard, and the blood ceased from Ava. I pulled out my knife and with all the force I had, I shoved the blade up through her chin into her brain.

Donna fell to her knees, sobbing, over her daughters limp form.

"Sammy!" I shouted, my hands shaking. "Is Ava alive? Sammy answer me!" I turned toward him. He was leaning over Ava, with his fingers on her pulse.

_if she dies it will be my fault. I can’t lose her. Fuck. I can’t lose her. She can’t die._

"She has a pulse. It's strong. I think she's going to be okay."

—————-

I sat at the bar. I was halfway through a bottle of whiskey. My face was in my hands.

"Hey."

Her voice usually gave me peace, but when I heard it I felt sick. All I could see was the blood pouring out of her lips. I turned my face away from her, back into my glass.

"Hey." I grunted.

I felt her lower herself on the bar stool next to me. My heart pounded in my chest, and I gestured for another drink.

"You weren't there when I woke up." She commented slowly.

"Yeah, sorry."

She reached out and touched my arm. I recoiled. Her touch always sent electricity through me. It was nice, like the way a cold pool feels on a hot day, but this time it felt like getting hit. My gut churned, and my hand throbbed, reminding me what happened earlier that day.

"Are you okay?"

I was silent, my jaw tight. I swallowed the drink and threw down some cash before standing up.

"Dean?"

I turned my back on her and walked out of the bar. I needed to clear my head. I was fuzzy from the whiskey, but it didn't erase the image of her. I could see our future now clearly. Sam planted the seed, and fuck was it growing. He was right, of course. We would get her killed. We almost did today. I couldn't keep doing this.

I pushed through the bar into the chilly night air. I fumbled for my keys. I needed an escape route. I couldn't do this, not now. I didn't have the strength.

"Dean! Where are you going?" She was coming after me, pushing through into the night. "Stop!" She said, grabbing my shoulder.

I sucked in my breath.

"What's going on?"

"I can't do this, Ava."

"You can't do what?" She asked insistently.

"This. I think... I think you should take a break."

"A break from what? From hunting?"

"To say the least."

"Dean, look at me."

I turned to her, my eyes stinging. There was fear in her eyes. Her lip was trembling. All I wanted was to scoop her up. To hold her. I wanted to protect her and make love to her, but the truth was that I was the only thing putting her in danger. I was the one hurting her. I promised myself I would never do it, but there I was. I'm a fucking liar. I'm a coward.

"You don't mean that. I want to be here, you know that."

"Well, I don't want you here." I said, trying to be cold.

"That's not true."

"It is." I bit down into my cheek, tasting blood.

"Why are you saying this? Is it because I got hurt? I'm fine, Dean, look at me." She reached for me, and I stepped back from her.

"It's not about the fight. Not entirely. I was thinking about it before that."

"Did I do something wrong?"

I flexed my hands, wincing from my sprained fingers. "It's me, Ava. I can't be selfish anymore. This isn't right for you. We aren't right, and just because I want it doesn't mean it should happen."

"So, what? You want me to leave? You don't think _that's_ selfish? This isn't your choice to make!"

"It is, though. It's my car. My job. My _life._ I can't keep watching out for you. I can't do my job when you're here. You just get in the way." I lied. The more I said the more I felt like I needed to throw up. I held my ground, because I knew if I let her in I would fold. I would melt into her like I always did. I couldn't afford that.

"That's not true, and you know it. We help each other. We watch out for each other. That's what family does."

"You aren't my family, Ava! Sam and me, we are family. You're just some girl who climbed into my car."

I could see the hurt waft over her. She put her hand on her chest, like she was trying to keep her heart from bursting.

_I'm a monster._

"Why are you doing this?"

"Sam made some good points about us. Where we were headed."

"Sam started this? Are you fucking kidding me? That is not his place! Dean come on. You know I'm not just some girl. This is real. How I feel is real."

"It is his place. He's my brother. It's always just been Sam and I. I've been an idiot thinking I could have something else. Just... just go, Ava. Go back to your Apple pie life. Go be safe. Have babies, and join the PTA."

"God, you know that isn't me." She was crying. It looked like angry tears. Her jaw was tight and her eyes never left mine. "My life was dangerous before, you know?"

"I don't care what you do with your life, Ava! Just go! I don't want to see you! How many times to I have to say it? This was a mistake!"

"You don't mean that!"

"Trust me. I do." _This is a mistake. If I never would have let her in we wouldn't be this broken. I wouldn't have to say goodbye._

She stared at me. I dug my car keys into my palm, trying to remind myself why I was doing this.

"Fuck you, Dean. I know you're scared, but this is fucking cruel. I don't care what you say. I know you care, but if you want me to go... well I won't stay where I'm not wanted." She walked to me and paused, before pushing past me into the night.

Ava

I didn't bother going back for my stuff. _He can deal with it._ I didn't want to cry. I promised myself I wouldn't cry over a guy. _He isn't just a guy. He's the guy._ "Not anymore." I told to myself.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

I took out my phone, and dialed Sams number.

"Ava? Where did you go? I came out of the bathroom and you were gone."

"What the fuck did you say to Dean?" The line was quiet. "Samuel Winchester What the _fuck_ did you say?"

"I just asked him what he wanted. If he was gonna hunt forever... I just asked..."

"Well, he just dumped me. So congrats, you got your brother back all to yourself."

"He _what?!_ "

"You heard me, Sam! God! I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my family."

"I am..."

"Save it." _Click._

I collapsed on the bus bench and sobbed in my hands.

I knew it was a mistake, too, getting close to him. I didn't want to. I told him that. I could still see him standing in the rain, asking for a chance. _I'm such an idiot. I should've ran then._

My phone was ringing again, it was Sam. I took it and broke it in half. _Fuck off._

I wiped my eyes and stood up. I wasn't some victim. Things end. I just didn't know what I was going to do now. I sighed, and walked into the bus station. I bought a ticket, and sat back down to wait for the bus.

_1 Week Later_

I sat at the kitchen table with a big cup of coffee. My legs were folded under me, and I stared at the newspaper. Suspicious killings outside of Atlanta. A woman’s face appeared to melt off. I wondered if that's where the boys were. I flipped the paper over and read the Funnies instead.

"Morning." Bobby said, with a yawn.

"Hey, old man." I said, pointing at the cup of coffee I made him. "It's Irish." I said cheekily.

"Bless you." He grabbed the coffee. We sat in silence for a moment before he cleared his throat. "So, not that I'm not enjoying your company, but are we going to talk about what happened?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

He sighed and sat across from me. "I know about you and Dean."

I raised an eyebrow. "There isn't a me and Dean, not anymore."

"What happened?"

"Uncle Bobby, no disrespect, but I just can't."

"Sam keeps calling for you."

"I don't want to talk to him." I groaned. "God, can't he take a hint?"

"He said he's sorry."

"He's not the only one who needs to apologize." I frowned. Bobby looked at me, and I sighed. "I think you and Sam finally got to him. He told me to leave. He didn't want me to be with them anymore. He was cruel." I sucked in my breath to try to keep my emotions in check.

"And you just let him?"

I looked at Bobby over the steam in my cup. "It's not like I could've stopped him."

"Doesn't sounds like you to let some guy tell you what to do, is all I'm sayin."

I closed my eyes and took in a few shaky breaths. "I'm in love with him, Bobby.” The words I hadn’t been saying flew out of me before I could stop them. I’d been so fucking alone. “And I'm so mad at him I can't see straight. He hurt me. He hurt me on purpose."

Bobby sighed with a frown. "Idgits."

"I'll say."

"Not just them, you too." He grunted.

"Me? What did I do?"

"You walked away."

"He told me to!"

"And I told you not to go with them and you didn't listen to me! Ava, these boys they love with everything they've got. Did this come up after a rough hunt?"

I bit my lip. "I got injured. It was a young witch and he had to kill her."

"He doesn't want anything to happen to you, so of course he's gonna push you away. None of us had a choice in this life, and we don't like the people we care about being put at risk."

"I get that but..."

"But that doesn't mean you have to let them push you away. From what Sams saying, they miss you."

"They, or Sam?"

"Sam said Dean isn't talkin much right now."

_We sat on the motel floor, playing a drinking game._

" _Never have I ever gotten a tattoo." I grinned at the boys._

" _Seriously?" They both laughed, taking a shot._

" _Never have I ever worn a bra." Sam said eyeing me._

" _Damn it, Sammy!" Dean said taking another shot._

_Sam and I looked at Dean and burst into laughter. Hot tears were rolling down my cheeks. "Oh my god, really?"_

" _Take your shot, sweetheart." Dean said grumbling._

_I was laughing too hard to take the shot. "I'm so sad I missed that!"_

" _Maybe you can still see it." He wiggled his eyebrows at me before pulling me into his lap and littering me with kisses._

"I can't make him want to be with me, Bobby."

"I don't think it's about making him want you, kid. It's pretty clear that he wants you. He probably thinks he's doing the right thing."

"Right according to who? Look at me? I have been in pajamas for an entire week here with you in bum fuck nowhere."

"I take offense to that."

"You should." I grinned. "Whether you all like it or not, I'm a part of this world. I miss it, and I miss those dumb boys."

Bobby sighed and shook his head. "Well, I may have a case for ya, if you want it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I think you've got the blood for it, kid. I may not like it, but hell, I'm an old drunk. What's my opinion matter anyway?"


	15. The Hunt

Sam

I walked into the motel, using my key. I had coffee and doughnuts. I was up late making sure the ghost we put down was really down. Thankfully it was an uneventful night. Dean needed a break. The last two weeks without Ava were eating at him. He wouldn't bring her up, and he always had this pinched expression on his face, like he’d eaten something sour. 

I pushed through the door to find him laying in bed, with his arms behind his head.

"I brought breakfast." I announced. "We are all good with the case, by the way."

"Um, Sammy..." He said as the bathroom door pushed open. A pretty blonde was drying her hair with my towel. She was wearing Deans button up shirt. Only his button up. 

"What the..."

"I didn't think you'd be back so soon." Dean said carefully.

"Who is this, Dean? I thought you were working?" I said gesturing to the half naked woman in our room. The woman who wasn’t Ava.

"I'm really sorry, I thought he was single. I didn't know he was in a... um... relationship." She said eyeing us. "I'll go." She slid into her pants. "It was nice, um, Dean. Bye." She pushed out of the motel still wearing his shirt.

"Wow, buzzkill." Dean complained, grabbing for his flask.

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe I am."

"It's 9am, dude."

"What are you, my girlfriend?" Dean laughs coldly and takes another swig. "Nope. I know you aren't because I don't have one. I'm single as a cucumber."

I shook my head. "Okay. Intervention time. It's been two weeks since Ava left. I think it's time we stop avoiding. Talk to me, man."

"There's nothing to say, Sam. I'm great." He took another swig. "Damn, I'm out." He tossed the blanket off of him and stood up.

"Dude cover up?" I groaned looking away.

"Relax, grandma. I'm covered." I turned to find him in his underwear, sliding into jeans. "Gotta make my way to the store. I don't want to lose this buzz."

"Okay, well you don't need to drive." I said, pocketing the keys to the Impala.

"Relax, Sam. I'm fine."

"Dude, you're not fine. You told me you wanted to marry her, and the same day you sent her away. Is it what I said, because I'm sorry. I didn't want you to end it."

"Not everything is about you." Dean grunted putting on his shirt.

"Then what is it about?"

Dean groaned and shook his head. "If I throw you a bone will you take me to get another bottle?"

"Probably." I admitted.

"She almost died. You were right, I was being selfish. I had to let her go."

"I get that, but why do you have to be miserable?"

"That is the question, isn't it? Why does it always have to be us?"

I looked at my big brother. He was always drinking, but rarely drunk. This time, though, he was broken. I really wanted to help him, but maybe he was right. Maybe we were cursed.

"Let's go. I'll get you that bottle."

"Good man." He said with a pained grin. "We need pie, too."

I dropped him off at the liquor store, so I could make a call. I watched him walk inside and I dialed her number, again. I didn't expect her to answer, but I guess I should stop being surprised.

"Sam, how did you get this number?"

"I'm resourceful." I said with a sigh. "Are you okay?"

"Do you seriously care?"

"Of course I do."

"I'm great. Never better." I could hear her voice falter. "Is that all? Can I go now?"

"Ava, we..." _Click._

I sighed and put my phone back in my pocket. The passenger side door opened and Dean slid back in. "They have pie flavored vodka. It's probably garbage but I bought two bottles. I think I'm a teenage girl."

I smiled sadly at him. "Sounds... tasty."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I shrugged. "Let's go back to the motel."

Dean opened the bottle and took a swig. "Fuck that's delicious." He took another big drink. "Why is it that me hooking up with that girl was the breaking point for you, Sam?"

"You're not the only one who loves her." I said putting the car in reverse. "I guess even after everything I'm Team Ava."

"And I'm Team Ava Stays Alive." Dean said with a musical tone. "But yours is catchier."

Ava

I had been away from the boys for three weeks and on my fourth case on my own. I'd taken out one poltergeist, a cursed object, and a shape shifter. It was lonely, but it was a nice distraction. I was driving one of Bobby's old cars, investigating some missing campers. I hopped out of the car and walked up to the campsite registration office.

I walked through the door with a _ding_. A woman sat at the front desk. She was wearing a rangers uniform. "Hello." She said, looking up from her paperwork. "How can I help you?"

"I'm Agent Carther with the FBI."

"What is it a reunion or something?"

"What do you mean?" I asked putting my badge away.

"Two more feds were here about twenty minutes ago."

I raised an eyebrow. "Where'd they go? Must be a mix up at the main office. I think I need to speak to them."

She nodded and took out a map. "They headed to the campsite here."

"Thanks." I smiled. "Mind if I take this?"

"Not at all."

I took the map and headed down the trail. I dialed Bobby's number, and it went straight to voicemail. _I swear, Bobby, if you set this up._ I shook my head, shoving it back in my pocket.

"Damn, this is pretty bloody to be considered a missing persons case."

I could hear them talking before I walked saw them. I considered turning back, but the sound of his voice pulled me forward.

I entered the clearing for the campsite. Sam was standing straight up and Dean was crouching. His head turned toward me when I stepped into the clearing. He cleared his throat, causing Sam to turn to me.

I crossed my arms, glad that I was wearing my good bra. "Please tell me Bobby didn't give you this lead."

"How did you get it?" Dean asked standing up. "You're hunting?"

I ignored him, and stepped toward Sam. "Was It Bobby?"

Sam sighed. "Yeah. It was."

"Fuck him." I said, shaking my head. "Well I guess you've got this handled, right?"

I turned on my heels and started to walk away. I felt warmth as someone grabbed my hand. I stopped dead in my tracks. "Let go." I whispered.

"We could use your help on this one." Sam said.

Dean was still quiet. I smiled and rolled my eyes. "You both made it pretty obvious that you don't need my help."

"Come on just.."

I shook Sam off and walked back to my car, without looking back. 

———-

I was halfway through a big bottle of red wine. "What a fucking day." I groaned, pouring myself a big glass. I sat down at the table in my motel room and took off my shoes and my blazer. I stretched and put my feet up. I took a big gulp of my glass of wine. I was never a wine drinker, but I also wasn’t the kind of girl who cried in the shower, and fuck was I doing that a lot. 

There was a rap at the door.

I ignored it.

Another knock. "Damn it." I groaned, standing. I opened the door, and Sam pushed past me.

"How did you find me?" I asked, sitting back down. I finished my glass and poured myself another. I was too relaxed to even care.

"Like I said, resourceful."

"Mhm."

He shut the door behind him.

"I'd offer you a glass, but I think I need the whole bottle if you catch my drift." I smiled in annoyance. "Resourceful or not."

"I understand." Sam sighed. "We miss you, Ava."

"Speak for yourself. Dean isn't here, is he?"

"Actually we are staying three doors down."

"You know what I meant, Sam. He isn't asking for me to come back. He isn't _here._ He still doesn't want me. I'm not going where I'm not wanted."

"But you haven't left the life." He said.

"No, of course not." I stood up and lifted my shirt to show him my tattoo on my ribs that matched the one on his chest. "It's not just your brother I fell for, Sam. I like hunting." I pulled my tank top back down.

"The only reason he told you to leave is because he wanted you out of the life."

"Well it isn't just about Dean, is it? It's actually my life so it's my decision what I do with it." I finished my glass and poured the final one from the bottle.

"You don't get it, Ava."

"You boys are so condescending. I get it, Sam! He was scared. Well, I was scared to get close to him and he promised he wouldn't hurt me. Then he hurt me. So sorry if you're not very convincing."

"Look at you." Sam ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "You look just like him. I've been driving the Impala because he is too drunk to drive. He's a liability on cases. He's a mess, and he looks kind of like how you look."

"That's rude."

"It's the truth. You two are miserable without each other. So just put him out of his misery and make him take you back."

"I don't beg." I frowned into my glass.

"I'm not asking you to beg." He sighed. "Just tell me... do you miss us? Do you miss him?"

I looked up, meeting Sams eyes. I couldn't lie to him. "Yes."

"I'm just asking you to talk to him. If you still want to come back."

I peeled my eyes away from Sams. "I want these last three weeks to haven't happened, but here we are."

"It's my fault. I was feeling... I don't know. Jealous? Worried? I shouldn't have brought that shit up." He sighed. "For the record, it's been hell without you for both of us. We always thought we just needed each other, but I guess we were wrong. We just didn't know we were missing a piece until we had you."

"God you're so soft, Sam." I finished my glass and stood. "Fine, but let me change."

He smiled. "We are in 103. I'll make myself scarce."

Dean

Sam was supposed to be coming back with another bottle of whiskey. I didn't expect to see her. I slammed my fist down on the table. "Damn it."

I looked up as the motel room door opened slowly. I stood up. "Sam, finally! I could really use that drink about now."

Ava stepped in holding a Bobby pin that was stuck in the lock. "Sorry to disappoint." She said.

Her hair was down, and she wore a black dress that had crossed straps over her chest. She wore a flannel over it and ankle boots with tall socks. She looked fucking fantastic. Better than my memory could’ve done her justice. 

"It's, uh, not a disappointment." I said standing, trying to flatten my shirt. I looked like hell, and I knew it.

"Sam came to see me."

"Such a little meddler." I groaned.

"He is." She pursed her lips.

"What did he say?"

"He said you he missed me." She met my eyes. "He said you both do, but I told him I wasn't buying it."

_Fucking Sam. He's making this way harder than it needs to be._

I looked at my lap. "He does miss you. Sammy has a soft spot for strays."

"Yeah, okay." She sighed. "I've been on three cases alone. I didn't know you'd be here. I was just following another lead Bobby gave me."

I frowned and looked up. "You've been doing cases? Bobby has sent you to hunt?"

"We agreed that I have it in my blood. You were right when you said I got the taste. I feel alive. I feel good."

"You look good, Ava."

"You look like hell."

"Hm."

"Listen, Dean. I don't like this. It'd be easier to be quippy with you like normal. Avoidance, but damn aren't you tired?"

"Tired of what?"

"Everything. God knows I am. I'm so tired of acting like I'm fine, or that I don't give a shit. So I'm going to say this once. I'm not going to beg."

I sat up a little straighter. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was a flame, and I was a fucking moth. 

"When I met you I was dead. I lived alone, I never slept, and I rarely smiled. You breathed life into me.” She walked to me. “I miss you. It kills everything in me to admit it, because I promised myself I'd never get close to someone like this, but I guess we all make mistakes." She sighed. "You're so worried that something bad will happen, but Dean it already has."

"What was it?" I asked, standing up. _If someone hurt her I swear._

"I lost you." She said taking my hand.

An electric shock shot up my arm and I met her eyes.

"I know you're worried about me hunting, but I'm going to do it anyway." She pulled up her dress, causing my heart to skip a beat. She wore black lace panties, and a matching bra. My breath hitched in my throat as my eyes traveled up her pale skin. They landed on a black anti possession tattoo on her ribs. "I'm here for the long hall, so don't use me hunting as an excuse. If you don't want me, then just say it."

My heart pounded in my chest. I reached out and touched her tattoo. Our eyes met and I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.


	16. Flesh

Ava

Dean kissed me. It happened in slow motion, but time caught up all at once. His hand was on my tattoo, and his lips were on mine. "You taste like vodka." I commented against his mouth.

"You taste like wine."

"We all make mistakes." I giggled and deepened the kiss, putting my arms around his neck. He took both hands, shrugging me out of my flannel and pulling my dress over my head.

I kicked out of my ankle boots and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it off of him. I ran my hands along his chest. _I missed this._

He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and he groaned. I could feel his muscles tightening around me.

He laid me down on the bed and hovered over me. He ran his fingers through my hair, and along the side of my face. "It's been hell without you." He admitted.

"It has been for me too."

"I'm still afraid." He admitted. "I don't want to lose you, not for real."

"What did Sam say to you?" I asked kissing his chin.

"What do you mean?"

"What did he say to you to scare you into breaking it off with me?"

Dean rolled over onto his back, and pulled me against him. "He asked me what our future looked like. What I wanted."

I propped myself up so I could look down at him. "What do you want? What was your answer?"

"I don't really think about the future. I don't think it's smart for hunters to..." he closed his eyes and shook his head. "Everyone who does this dies young. I can't want a future. I can't want this."

"You can want it." I told him. "If that's how you feel."

"When I picture myself happy, it's always with you. I don't know what that means. We don't really have a chance for that but..."

"Shh." I said pressing my lips to his. "When I picture myself happy, it's with you too." I looked down at him. "The rest doesn't matter. No matter what happens we are together. We don't need some pretend life to be happy. I'm happy here with you. With whatever life we will have."

"I don't deserve you." He said, cradling my face in his hands.

"You don't." I leaned down to kiss him. "But you get me anyway."

He smiled up at me. "Damnit I owe Sam a thank you."

"Don't forget Bobby. I think he supports us now." I grinned.

"Everybody is team Ava."

"I like the sound of that." I said kissing him again.

"Let's not talk anymore."

"Deal."

Dean

I opened an eye when I heard the motel room door slowly cream open. Sam was walking in slowly. "Hey." I said softly, putting a finger to my lips.

"Is that?" He asked as a grin grew on his face. "Yes!" He whispered.

I smiled to myself. I understood the enthusiasm. She was asleep next to me on her stomach. I grabbed my boxers and slid them on, sneaking out of bed so I could talk to Sam.

"She said she's been on three hunts on her own. Bobby has been giving her leads."

Sam nodded. "I saw her tattoo, too. She's for real."

"I wanted more for her."

"Maybe you can have more with her." Sam shrugged.

"Are you boys gossiping over there?" Ava asked, pulling the blanket to her bare chest.

"Hey." I said with a big grin.

"What's wrong with you two? You look seriously creepy."

I looked at Sam. He had an ear to ear grin like I did. _We are hopeless_.

"Just happy to see you." Sam grinned wider.

"Okay, calm down Pennywise. Give us a minute?" I said, putting my hand up.

Sam nodded and exited the motel room.

"Hey." I said walking back to her. "Sorry for the invasion."

"It's okay." She yawned. "He seems happy."

"Got the gang back together. I think he is happy."

"What about the older Winchester?"

"He's happy too." I said, leaning in to kiss her.

"Not to break up this beautiful moment," Sam said poking his head into the room. His hand was covering his eyes.

"Then don't." I groaned.

"But we do have a Wendigo to catch."

Ava perked up at this. "Really? Give us ten minutes."

Sam nodded and closed the door again.

"Look at you." I laughed. "You're a regular monster junkie."

"So are you." She teased. "Admit it, you totally want to kill a Wendigo today."

I smirked a bit. "You get me."

—————

We went to the camp ground and sat up. We were the perfect candidates to be Wendigo chow, but we were ready for them when they showed up.

"You know I can't cut your hair for you, Sam."

"Who invited her back again?"

Sam grumbled batting her hands out of his hair.

"You did." Ava and I said at once.

"You missed me." Ava sang, putting her fingers back in his hair.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Sam grinned.

It was nice to see them together. Sam was laughing and nursing a beer, and Ava was braiding his hair into little braids. I was enough, not anymore. He didn't laugh like that with just me.

Ava brought a light to us that we couldn't find with just the two of us. We were in the darkness together. Looking at Ava's smile made me smile. I got up and sat next to her, pulling her against me. I pressed my lips to her hair.

"Hey." I whispered.

"Hey back." She smiled and nuzzled into my neck.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes.

Sam turned back at smiled at us.

"It's time." I said kissing her lips. "For bed." I grinned.

Sam and Ava nodded to me and we all three crawled into the tent to fake sleep. We didn't lay down, we didn't sleep, we just held our flame throwers and flare guns against our chests and waited.

I held Ava's small hand in mine. Our fingers were laced together. I couldn't believe she was back. I couldn't believe I ever let her go in the first place.

_Crack._ A twig broke outside the tent, and I nodded to Ava and Sam. Ava took her hair tie off her wrist and tied her hair up. She crouched and the three of us busted out of the tent.

The Wendigo opened its mouth and wailed. It lunged at Sam, and he pulled the trigger, shooting flame at the monster.

Ava and I jumped behind it, engulfing it in flames. It screamed as it died.

"That was way too easy." Ava commented.

"Sometimes it is." Sam said.

I frowned. "It's not. Damn it. I don't know why I didn't think about it before. They usually keep their Vic's in caves. Eat them a little at a time."

Ava looked up, meeting my eyes. "So they may still be alive."

I nodded. "Guess it's time to go looking around for the den."

Ava reached into her bag and pulled out a map of the park. "Well we have a couple options." She said, taking out her pin. She circled two different caves that could be where the people could be held.

"So I guess we should split up." Sam said. l can take this one if you two will take the other."

Ava raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to argue, but for the record, I don't need a babysitter."

"I know." Sam shrugged. "Just figured you two love birds would want some alone time."

"We do." I said, winking at her.

"You two are so immature." She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide the smile that was tugging at her cheeks.

"Let's go." I said, grabbing my bag. "We have quite a walk ahead of us."

Ava

After a thirty minute hike we made it to the cave. It was hidden beneath trees. "What's the plan?" I asked Dean as we surveyed the surrounding ground.

"We killed it, and it looks like there's only one entrance, so I guess we go in."

"So casual, Mr Serious."

Dean shrugged. "Worth a shot." He held up his flamethrower. "And we have these."

"True." I said holding up mine. "Let's go."

Dean took the front, and I followed closely behind. We stepped into the darkness, and I pulled out my flashlight. I shone it around the cave.

"Nothing." I exhaled. It was just a shallow cave. I could see the back wall 8 feet in front of us. No victims.

Dean crouched down and touched the ground. "No blood. Dried or otherwise."

"I wonder if Sams having luck. Maybe we should meet him."

Dean stood up with a nod. "Yeah, but first." He put a hand behind my back and pulled me against him. He pressed his lips to mine in an urgent kiss.

"We are not making out in the creepy cave." I said against his lips. I kissed him one more time quickly, before pulling away. "Rain check for after we save the day."

"Deal." He grinned. "Let's go."

We took a short cut on the map. "Looks like we can get there in twenty."

We started walking in that direction. "So, tell me about the cases you worked."

I glanced at him, and pushed a branch out of our way. "You really want to know?"

"I do."

"So there was this cursed object. It was a necklace, passed down from generations."

"It was ganking the girls in the family?"

"You got it. One after another. I was wondering why they kept wearing it. They were a sentimental bunch." I laughed, as I went around a tree. "I had to pry it out of the teenagers hands. I think she wanted to pawn it for weed."

Dean laughed. "You got it though?"

"Burned it." I nodded.

"I'm proud of you."

"I learned from the best." I grinned back at him. "What about you? Have you had anything fun since I've been gone?"

He was quiet behind me. I glanced back at him. He looked pensive with his eyebrows together.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He grunted and sighed. He walked up in front of me.

I watched him speed up. His back was tense, I could tell even through his jacket. I jogged to keep up with him. _What are you hiding, Dean?_

"Dean." I began, as I tried to catch up with him.

_Bang._ A gunshot echoed through the trees.

"Sammy." He said.

We burst into a run at full speed. We avoided trees, and rocks, gunning for the cave entrance ahead. It was like we were underwater. We couldn't run fast enough.

We burst into the cave to find the Wendigo hanging Sam by his wrists from the cave ceiling.

"Dean, get Sam." I said stepping to the Wendigo. The creature screamed and ran out of the way.

Dean turned and shot flames at it. It engulfed one of the creatures arms and it screamed out in pain. "Sammy, are you okay?" He shouted at his brother.

Sam didn't respond, but the Wendigo was cornered. Dean had his flamethrower pointed and mine had its other side. "Ashes to ashes." I said before we both lit it up. The creature writhed against the wall as it burned, and crumbled to the ground.

Dean dropped his flamethrower and ran right to Sam. He reached up and broke Sams chain. There were two other victims hanging near him, bleeding and almost dead. I ran to the girl and unhooked her, lowering her to the ground. I had my phone out calling the local PD. "This is Agent Carther. We found the missing people. Meet us at the Red Cave, and bring medics."

I got the two other victims down and Dean held onto Sam. "They're alive. Barely, but still alive. How is Sam?" I asked, looking at Dean cradling Sams head. I could see a tear rolling down his cheek. "He still has a pulse but he's lost a lot of blood, Ava." Dean held his hand on a wound on Sams neck.

"The ambulance is on its way. He's going to be fine. It's going to be fine." I met his eyes, hoping he could believe what I was telling him. I hoped I could believe it.


	17. Smaller

Ava

Sam had a blood transfusion and two big IVs of fluids. He was resting up. His color was already looking better. Dean finally fell asleep, laying over the bed next to Sams hand.

Dean was beating himself up over what happened to Sam. He would die for his brother. He would trade him places in a second. He would never admit it but he loved Sam more than anything.

Sam shifted in bed with a quiet groan. "Hey stud." I said, taking his other hand. I remembered being in his position not too long ago.

"Hey." He grinned widely. Classic Sam.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like a million bucks."

"Well you are looking better." I told him. "Even though you still need a hair cut.

"Did we get the Wendigo?"

"We did." I squeezed his hand and nodded.

"Are you okay?"

I exhaled a shaky breath. "You scared us, Sam."

"Yeah it got the jump on me." He said running his fingers through his hair.

"Do you guys ever have cases that don't end up in the hospital?"

"Most of them we just bandage ourselves." He grinned again.

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"It's the job, Ave. you sure this is what you want?"

I looked between the two Winchester's. My family. "Yes. I'm sure." I would die for them. It had been a handfull of months since I met them, but that didn't make a difference. I loved them.

"The police department will miss you."

"They will." I agreed. "But not as much as you two would miss me."

"Little cocky, don't you think?" Dean asked with a yawn.

"Just a little." I winked at him.

"You look like hell." Dean commented.

"So do you." Sam said without missing a beat. "When do I get out of here?"

"I'll find out." Dean said standing, and stretching his arms above his head. This made his shirt raise up and expose the tiniest band of skin. It caused chills to roll up my spine.

I turned back to Sam, pulling my sweater together.

"I really am glad you're back."

"I bet. If it weren't for me you'd be dead." I winked.

He rolled his eyes and sat up. "We really should go. I hate the hospital."

"I don't think anyone likes the hospital, Sam." I rolled my eyes.

"We don't like being anywhere for too long."

"That's pretty obvious." I said, remembering Deans pacing when we were at Bobby's for two weeks. "You've never wanted to have an actual home?"

"I did have one, for awhile." He looked down.

"What changed?"

"My girlfriend was killed by a demon."

My blood ran cold. "Sam, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." He said softly. "It's been awhile, but it still hurts." He sighed. "Ever since then I haven't really bothered having a life outside of this. My home is in that car with my brother."

"God it's like a chick flick in here." Dean said grimacing. "They said we can get you out of here now that you're up and talking."

"Looks like you won't be shackled after all." I smiled.

"Looks like it." He agreed.

We were on the round within two hours. Sam was asleep in the back seat, and Dean and I were upfront.

"You look serious." I commented, putting my index finger in between his eyebrows.

"I am serious." He glanced at me.

"Sams okay." I reminded him, taking his hand.

"Yeah, I know. I just never like the close calls." He exhaled. "One of these times one of us won't be able to outrun death."

"You're right." I said, squeezing his fingers. "But everybody dies sometime." I tried to picture Sam with a girlfriend. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I saw him with a faceless girl, kissing and whispering in the darkness. No wonder he wanted Dean, and I together. He wanted someone to be happy.

"Now you look serious." He said poking between my eyebrows.

I smiled a bit, releasing my cheek from my teeth. "I am serious." I said, repeating his phrase.

"Two peas in a pod."

I nodded. "I don't want any of us to die either, for the record." I turned so I could look at him. "It would be devastating."

"Sam and I always promise each other that if one dies the other will go live a normal and happy life. No more hunting monsters. No more danger. Just apple pie and babies."

I smiled to myself. "Could either of you do it?"

"If I lost Sam I don't think I'd be able to just move on. I'd have to do everything to bring him back."

"I think he would do the same for you."

"It's what you do for family." He said simply.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I think it's great how much you two look out for each other."

"He's my little brother. He's my responsibility."

I wondered, as I watched his eyes crinkle, why he could never admit that he loved Sam. It was obvious. Everyone else knew it. Maybe there was one last piece of his heart that would break away, exposing his soul, if he admitted it. He didn't ever have to say it to me. I didn't expect him to. I was never needy. I never needed the validation. I knew how he felt by the way he kissed me, and how he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

"So where are we headed?"

He shrugged. "Where do you want to go?"

Dean

We didn't have a case, and if I was being honest I wasn't looking. Sam was still asleep in the back seat, and Ava had nodded off in the passenger seat.

We were all together, and we were safe. I'd be damned if I walked us right back into deaths arms. Not yet. We needed a minute. Just one minute where we weren't about to die.

I could see Sam sleeping in my rear view mirror. The little asshole almost died on me. I didn't want Ava to die, but I was happy she was with me. Selfish bastard.

I sighed and squeezed the steering wheel. Just me and the kids. I thought. I reached over and took Ava's hand in mine. I will protect them until I stop breathing.

I knew exactly where I was going then. I put the sun visor down and sped up the car. I was intent to drive through the night until I hit our destination. I would drive until they were safe.

I pulled up at Bobby's and parked the car. "We are here." I said, kissing Ava's forehead.

"Hm?" She asked, her eyes fluttering open. "Where are we?"

Sam groaned from the backseat. "Is this Bobby's? What are we doing here?"

"Thought we would say hello to the old man and regroup."

"Sounds good." Ava said with a yawn. She reached forward and kissed me. "Staying with me or Sam?"

"You? Obviously." I smiled. "I'll meet you inside."

She nodded and wiped her eyes, stepping out of the car.

Sam leaned forward. "We are really just catching up? Really?"

"Yeah, what's the problem?"

"Just doesn't seem like you to want to have a social visit. Especially since we were just here not too long ago."

I shrugged. "I don't have to justify everything I do to you."

"Whatever." Sam shrugged. He pushed out of the car and went inside.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the head rest. All I could see was Sam in my arms barely breathing. Ava on the bed, tied and cut up. It's always them. It's never me.

I looked at the house, and got out of the car. I walked in to Ava's room to find her back asleep. She was tired. Her hair was spread on the pillow almost like she was underwater. She looked beautiful. I took off my jacket and climbed into bed next to her.

She stirred slightly and rolled over until her head found my chest. She wrapped her arms around my torso and snuggled closely. "What took you so long?" She asked in between sleep.

"Just doing some thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing." I said, kissing her head. "Go back to sleep."

"Don't think I won't bring it up later." She said kissing my chest. "But I am tired, and you're so comfortable." She nuzzled closer.

I twisted my fingers in her hair, and closed my eyes. She was on the floor bleeding from the teenage witch slamming her against the wall. She was laying in the bed half naked bleeding. We were staying up all night to keep her concussion from taking her.

My chest tightened, and I held her closer. What kind of man would risk it? So many close calls. What is the right answer? What can I do?

Ava

The sun streamed in through the window. I groaned and wiped my eyes, and I rolled over reaching for Dean. His side of the bed was empty. I glanced at the clock. It was 7am. Why is he awake?

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. I was so exhausted, but I finally felt like I was catching up on all the sleep I lost when I was away from the boys. I threw my legs over the bed and slid back into my jeans. I leaned my head to the right and my neck gave off a satisfying crack.

I stood up, stretching. His shoes and coat were both gone. I bit my lip. Maybe he went out for coffee? Or to wash the Impala or something.

Something felt wrong. I walked up the stairs to Sams room. I hoped I would find him and Dean pouring over a case. I poked my head in the door to find Sam sound asleep on his bed alone.

I walked to the window and pushed the curtain out of the way to look out into the lot for the Impala. It was gone.

"Sam." I said touching his bare back.

"Jesus!" He jumped, his fist almost colliding with me. "Don't sneak up on a hunter, Ava." He rubbed his face.

"Sorry, I just... I don't know where Dean is."

"I'm sure he just went out. What time is it?"

"7:10."

Sam sat up slowly. "Have you tried to call him?"

I shook my head and pulled out my phone. I dialed his number. It rang four times. "This is Deans phone. Leave a message." Beep.

"Hey, where are you? Call me."

Sam took out his phone and dialed as well. He shook his head after about thirty seconds.

"This is Deans other, other cell. You know what to do." We called his three other phones. Nothing.

I sat on the bed across from Sam. "He's gone. Why would he leave? Do you think he was taken?"

"We didn't hear anything. Did you see a sign of struggle?"

I shook my head. "No. I went to sleep with him and then this morning he was just gone."

"He didn't say anything?"

"No, Sam! He..." My eyes widened. "Oh my god. He was late to the room. He said he was thinking. He wouldn't tell me what about. You don't think he just left?"

Sam sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "Yeah. I kinda do."

"Damn it!" I said, throwing the pillow. "Haven't we been apart enough?"

Sam stood up and paced a few times back and forth. His eyes focused on the bed post and I followed his gaze. Small warding symbols were carved into it. I ran my fingers along the etchings.

"I think I know where he is." Sam said quietly.

"Tell me where to go."

————-

I drove one of Bobby's old beaters to the dam. According to Sam, Dean used to go there when they stayed with Bobby. He went there when he needed to think. I parked the car and walked up the rocks.

He was sitting in the place Sam said he would be. He was sitting on a rock, drinking a bottle of beer. He was looking at the water rushing and collapsing into itself.

I walked to him and sat down. "Can I have a sip?"

He nodded and handed me the beer. "How'd you find me?"

"Sam."

"Little rat." Dean said shaking his head.

"What's going on?" I reached for his hand.

"I just have a bad feeling." He admitted. "It's in my gut."

"What's it saying?"

"I just think something bad is going to happen. I just keep seeing you and Sam hurt. I can't lose either of you."

"You're not going to lose us, Dean."

"You don't know that. This job is dangerous."

"But it's worth the risk. We are all good at it. We will always be there for each other. You know why? Because we are family. Just like you always say. Family doesn't give up on family. Don't give up because you're afraid of the ifs."

"I'm used to being afraid for Sam, but now there's two of you." He reached out and held my cheek.

"You have something to lose. That's a good thing. Anything worth losing is worth having. You have us, Dean. The only thing that will separate us is you."

He looked at me, sadness and fear in his green eyes. He put his hand on the back of my neck. He pulled me toward him, and put me in his lap.

I pressed my lips to his. My arms wrapped around his neck. I could feel his lashes against my cheek. His lips were insistent against mine, moving closer. It was like we were melding together.

Our tongues touched and my hands slid into the back of his shirt. My fingers slid across his muscles. My nails broke his skin and he groaned into my mouth.

I pulled away, still nibbling on his bottom lip. "I see why you like it here." I breathed heavily.

"Why's that?"

Our foreheads were pressed together. "It feels like a bubble." I closed my eyes. The woosh of the water rushing surrounded us. It felt like we were outside of time.

"It's all the white noise."

"I know why you're afraid." I admitted quietly. "It'd be easier if we were all normal. If we didn't do this job, and risk what we risk. But, Dean, we wouldn't be us if we didn't fight the fight. I don't know who you and Sam would be if you weren't hunters. You shouldn't have to make yourself smaller to be happy."

"I don't feel small when I'm with you." He said kissing me again.

"But I make you want to be small." I said quietly.

"You make me want to be safe. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you or Sam. I don't know who I'd be."

"You'd be okay. Eventually, we would all be okay."


	18. Yellow Eyes

Sam

"It's all over, bitch!" Ava shouted as she shot a shapeshifter, that looked just like me, in between the eyes with a silver bullet.

"You did that way too easily." I complained, staring at myself on the floor.

"Just remember the lack of hesitation the next time you leave the toilet seat up." She said, putting her gun away.

Dean shrugged, with a grin. "That's my girl."

"You too, Dean. If I fall in the toilet one more time I'm coming for both of you."

Dean and I met eyes with fake horror.

"Let's get rid of the body, and get some grub?" Dean offered, changing the subject.

"I saw the perfect place off the highway!" Ava said with a grin.

We met up at a sushi place off the side of the highway after we finished burying the shifter.

"Sushi, really?" Dean said making a face.

"It's good!" Ava tugged on his hand and pulled him inside.

We sat around the table. "I'm not eating anything raw." Dean complained.

"Come on, you big baby." Ava teased back, poking him with her chopsticks.

He grumbled and batted her away.

We all ordered. Ava got a variety of things, I got some crab cakes and baked lobster rolls, and Dean sat with a chicken strip meal with fries.

"It's not bacon cheeseburger, but I won't get mercury poisoning." He defended as he dunked his fry in ketchup.

"Here's to another successful case." Ava said with a million dollar smile, holding up her beer.

"It never gets old watching yourself die." I grinned.

"It's creepy, Sam." Dean said, ketchup on his chin.

Ava and I laughed. She plopped a piece of fish in her mouth.

"And that's gross." He pointed to Ava's mouth.

"You put way grosser things in your mouth." She commented cooly.

"Likewise, sister." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"You two are disgusting!" I said, tossing a balled up napkin at them.

"Sam this is a nice restaurant!" Ava said, throwing it back at me.

"This is a sushi place right off the highway. We will be lucky to get back to the motel without food poisoning." I laughed. "It isn't exactly the Ritz."

"Karma is going to get you for that, Sam Winchester." She said, pointing a piece of fish in between her chopsticks.

"Wouldn't be the first time." I grinned.

We didn't even make it home before Ava put her hand to her lips. "Dean pull over."

"What's wrong?" He asked turning the car. The moment we stopped she threw the door open and vomited. "Hey? Are you okay?" He asked, covering his nose. "Can you make it back to the motel?"

She vomited for a few minutes, holding her stomach. "I... I think I can make it." She moved back inside the car.

Dean drove carefully, but I could see the stress on his face. He made me take a cab home after drinking too much one night. _Don't you dare puke in Baby! It'll be the last thing you do._

We pulled up at the motel, just to have her vomit again in the parking lot. "Buck up brother." I said, eyeing Dean.

He cleared his throat and glared back at me before rushing to Ava. "Hey, let's get you inside."

"I'm sorry." She said, snot and tears rolling down her face. "I shouldn't have sent us to that... oh god." She bent over and vomited again.

"Come on, Sammy. Can I get a hand?"

I nodded and jogged ahead of them to open the door. Dean managed to carry Ava in and drape her over the toilet.

"Let it out, baby." He said, leaning against the door frame. "This is why we strictly get burgers.

"Bite me." She groaned.

Dean looked at me, flushed. "Are you feeling okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, but I didn't eat anything raw."

"Good." He exhaled. "I don't need it to be a frat house in here." He frowned.

Everything had been quiet. We were working cases for the last month, and had little to no close calls.

I didn't know what Ava said to Dean the morning we were at Bobby's, but it seemed to make a difference. He was back to normal, smiling, and making dumb jokes.

We still got a double room, even though Dean always ended up in Ava's room. I wished they were in it now, because our room was starting to stink of vomit. It was making my stomach churn. I got up to open the window.

"She can kill shifters without a thought, but is going to be destroyed by some bad sushi." Dean commented quietly.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen."

"Shut up." Ava whimpered from the other room. "I hate you both."

I fell asleep in my bed, Ava was asleep on the bathroom floor, and Dean was asleep on the floor right outside of the bathroom.

I woke up hearing Deans phone ring on the bedside table. "Dean." I groaned, but he was sound asleep slumped against the wall. I picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Sam?"

I sat up quickly. "Dad?"

"Where's your brother?"

"He's... he's sleeping. Dad what's going on?"

"I think I found it."

"Found what?"

"The demon that killed your mom."

Dean

"So what exactly did he say, Sam?" I asked, my arms crossed.

Ava was sitting on my bed with a wash cloth on her forehead. She looked pale, with dark half moons under her eyes.

"Your Dad?" She questioned, her voice was raw from puking.

"He said that he's circling in on the demon that killed Mom. He needs our help. He sent me the coordinates." Sam said, handing me his cellphone.

I stared at the numbers. The bad feeling rushed over me again. I wanted to catch the son of a bitch, but I was worried about what danger the situation held.

"Dean." Sam looked concerned. "Let's go. We have to."

"Ava is sick." I said weakly.

"I'm feeling a lot better now. Especially now that I know we are going to get to ice a demon."

"You should rest." I insisted.

"What? You don't want me to meet your dad?"

I sighed. No. I really didn't, but that wasn't the point. I didn't have a good enough argument without telling the truth. "Fine. Let's pack up."

We were on the road in an hour. Ava was sipping ginger ale, with her bare feet on the dash. She was looking a lot better, and was starting to sing along to the radio again. I could only imagine what my dad would say when he saw her with us. I tilted my head, yearning for that satisfying crack, but I was too tense. Nothing came.

It was going to be a long ass day.

"You okay?" Ava asked me.

"I'm great. What about you? Finally over the food poisoning?"

"I think so." She said closing up the bottle of ginger ale. "You got your wish, by the way, we won't be eating sushi for a long time." She looked a little green even talking about it.

I reached toward her, and put my hand on the back of her neck. I gave her sore muscles a gentle squeeze. "I never want you to be sick. That wasn't my wish."

"Mhm." She closed her eyes.

After rubbing her neck for a few minutes she was out cold, and snoring softly. I moved my hand back to the wheel and looked at Sam in the rear view mirror. "I have a bad feeling, Sam."

"It's probably because you know Dad is going to chew our asses for involving Ava."

"Maybe." I agreed.

"Or maybe it's the fact that this is almost over. Finally, after all this time."

I squeezed the steering wheel, my knuckles white. "And then what, Sam? You going back to college?"

I pictured his face when I came into his apartment. He was young, and shocked. He didn't want to come look for Dad, but I insisted. " _I'll help you find the demon that killed Mom and Jess, and after that I'm done."_ He's right. Everything is about to be over.

"Well, I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe."

"Well excuse me if I'm not jumping for joy over that."

"Come on, Dean, you know this was always temporary for me." He reached forward and touched my shoulder. I shook his hand off. "You have Ava now. You don't have to keep doing this. When this is over you could get out. You could be happy."

"I'm happy now, Sam." I said with a tight jaw. "Maybe I'm an idiot for thinking that we were all happy. That this was our job, our life. Maybe saving people isn't enough for you anymore." I huffed.

"It's not that it isn't enough I just... I got into law school. I had a life."

"This is just as much of a life as that is, Sammy." I wrapped my fingers around the necklace Sam gave me for Christmas when we were kids. A gift planned for Dad, but since he bailed Sam gave it to me. Other than Baby it was my most prized possession. It was a symbol of family. "But if you don't feel that way then maybe you should go."

_Everyone leaves. Dad left. Sam left. Ava left, I made her, but she didn't fight. I'll end up alone._

I tried to shake away the thoughts that were plaguing me, but they were pressing on my skull like a bad migraine.

"Stay with Ava, she needs the rest." I pulled up at the motel and got out of the car before Sam could comment.

I walked right to room 7 and knocked on the door hard. "Dad." I said as the door opened a crack.

"Dean." He said, as he pulled me into a hug. I was caught off guard, and my arms were stiff at my sides. "Where's your brother?" He asked as he pulled away. He had a gentle smile and the corners of his eyes were slightly wet.

I frowned. "You haven't talked to us in a year."

"I've been working the case."

"So have we." I said, pushing into the motel room. "So where are we at?"

"I think they're planning something." He said, walking to the table in the corner of the room. There were maps and articles littering the walls of the motel room.

"Planning what?"

He flipped through more pages. "It doesn't matter."

I frowned. "The hell it doesn't."

"It's not like you to question me."

"The days of me blindly following are behind me, padre." I pushed up the sleeves on my button up. "So give me the answers, and I'll go along. I'm just not going into things blind anymore."

He paused for a moment before meeting my eyes. "Yellow eyes is the key." He pulled out his journal and flipped through it. "I was able to locate a large portion of children with similar nursery fires like the one that happened with your mom." He winced as he said it.

"Demons are congregating? Why?"

He looked up from his journal to meet my eyes. "As far as I can tell, they're trying to start the apocalypse."

"The what? Like zombies?"

"More like Armageddon." He said, sounding annoyed. "The end of days. Hell on earth."

He looked grim, old. He had gray in his beard and he looked unbelievably tired.

"Why do you think that?"

"Caught a few. Got them to talk."

"Hm."

"What's going on with you, Dean?" He asked walking towards me.

The motel door clicked and creaked open. "Dean." Sam said. "Sorry, she, uh, woke up."

Ava stood behind him, looking tired, but less ill. "Mr Winchester, I'm Ava." She said, stepping past Sam. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Dad frowned as he looked at her. "Well isn't that interesting. I guess it all makes sense now." He shook his head.

"Really? Wow."

Dad squinted at her. "Bobby's niece?"

"She's more than that." Sam piped in.

Dad raised an eyebrow.

"She's my girlfriend." I said, reaching for Ava's hand.

"You're reckless. I thought I raised you boys better than to be so stupid." He shook his head and went back to his papers. "Just go. I can't use you anymore."

Ava's hand was limp in mine. She turned and looked at me. I could feel her gaze, but I couldn't look at her. I was too angry.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she spoke first. "I'm sorry, Mr Winchester, but you're wrong."

He looked up from his papers, shock plastered on his face. He wasn't used to being spoken to like that.

"Am I? Did they not bring you along, put you in danger?"

"I was already in danger." She let go of my hand and stepped towards him. "They've been looking for you all this time. Calling you when Sam was in the hospital. You couldn't be bothered. That isn't family. You're a coward." She shook her head, and turned away. "I'm sorry." She whispered to me before pushing through the motel door. It clicked closed behind her.


	19. The Colt

Dean

"Wow." Dad said, looking taken aback by Ava's words. Honestly? We all three were. Don't mess with Momma bear.

"Yeah. She's a spit fire alright." I agreed.

"Your girlfriend, huh? I've gotta say, son, I'm surprised."

"Figured you would be."

"She's good, Dad." Sam said carefully. "She's a good hunter."

He laughed and shook his head. "It's really fucking reckless. I raised you better than to put innocents in danger." He frowned and turned to me. "You're weak. Your head isn't in the game. Not while she's here."

"You're wrong. We have done cases with her. They've ended fine." I said, clenching my fists at my side.

"This isn't just a case, Dean. This is _the_ case. We can't be distracted. I need all hands on deck. I can't have you putting yourself in harms way for a piece of ass."

"Watch yourself." I said stepping toward him, with my finger pointed at his chest. "I'd tread lightly, pops."

"What about your Mom? That's why we started this. To avenge her. You're going to ruin this. I don't care what you do on your free time, but not on this. Not on this case."

"Don't make this about her. You know I loved Mom. I want revenge as much as you do."

"I don't think you do."

"I do." I assured him. "I just think you should apologize to Ava. You're wrong about her, and you're wrong about me." I insisted.

"Why are we even arguing about this?" Sam asked, sounding aggravated. "Let's just get this son of a bitch. She can help, so why don't we let her? Or bench her. Either way."

"We aren't benching anybody." I said throwing an arm up to Sam. "You know she would never let that happen."

Sam shrugged, because he definitely did.

Dad looked at us and sighed. "Sam is right. Not about bringing her, but about focusing on the goal." He walked to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Go talk to her. Tell her she needs to go somewhere safe. It's time to say goodbye, son."

I shrugged him off. "How about you talk to her and see how well that goes."

"Fine." He said with a raised eyebrow. "I'll talk to her."

I grinned. _This should be good._

Ava

I knew I shouldn't have gone off on their father, but the way he looked at them pissed me off. They were my boys, and I wasn't going to let anyone bully them.

I leaned against the Impala with my arms crossed, and my sunglasses perched on my nose. I felt like I was having a staring contest with the motel room door.

I shouldn't have been surprised that Dean didn't follow me out, but I still wish he had. I wanted to know what they were saying.

My head perked up as the motel door opened. John Winchester walked out alone. He made his way to me, and I pursed my lips. _This should be good._

"John Winchester." I said coldly.

"Ava Langston." He repeated back to me. "I hear we should talk."

"Hm."

"I'll buy you a beer."

"Well, considering we are on the most important case of our young lives, I won't be drinking. I will let you buy me a coffee, though. Stay sharp and all that." I said, standing up. "Get in. I'll drive."

I pulled out the Impala keys from my pocket.

"He lets you drive the Impala." It wasn't a question.

"I'm usually the only sober one." I smiled sweetly. "And I am, was, a police officer. I prefer not to drunk drive if I can help it." I slid into the drivers seat. He looked inquisitive so he followed my lead and sat in the passenger seat.

"I've never seen my son act this way before."

"Like what?"

"Defiant for starters." He smirked.

He looked so much like Dean it was eerie. The same eyes, the same mouth, just aged with darker hair. If Dean aged like him I'd be a happy girl for a long time. _That's a scary realization. I plan on sticking around._ I bit the inside of my cheek. "He's happy."

"How did this happen? My boys would have never let anyone on the road with them. It's too dangerous to have relationships."

"They pulled the FBI shit on me. They were working on a case in my town. They gave me Bobby's number to call to validate their badges." I smiled at the memory. "Idiots."

"How does Bobby feel about all of this?"

"He didn't like it at first, but he came around." I parked in front of the coffee house and got out of the car. We walked in together and he ordered a black coffee. I ordered one with half and half.

I sat across from him. "Mr Winchester." I began.

"Call me John."

"John." I exhaled. "Your sons are my family. They saved me after I was attacked by a demon. The same demon that killed my mom. Her soul is in hell because of him." I held the coffee between my hands. "I've been with Sam and Dean for months. We tried to be apart. He did what I'm sure you're here to do. He broke it off, and told me to leave."

He sipped his coffee. "And you didn't leave?"

"I did. For about a month. I didn't stop hunting. I'm actually good at it. We were miserable apart. You know that family is important to the boys." I leaned forward. "Family doesn't ditch family."

"You're angry because I left them."

"I am. How could you ever leave them." My jaw was tight as I met his eyes. "They're the most amazing people I've ever met, and you left them out of the blue. You abandoned them."

"It wasn't like that. I needed to focus. It wasn't safe for them."

"You don't need to explain that to me, but you should apologize to them." I took a sip of my coffee. My stomach churned, and I sat the mug back down.

"I did what I had to. My boys know that."

"Take it from someone who has been there." I said, laying my palms flat on the table. "They don't. They may act like they do, but you were their only parent and you left. If I had the chance to be with my parents I would. I'd give anything for that."

"It's complicated."

"No, it's not." I shook my head. "I understand revenge. Sam still has nightmares, and Dean has obvious issues getting close to people. They're damaged. I know why you want to make the demon pay." I pulled down my shirt to show the long pink scar across my chest. "I want to make them pay, too. But at what cost? You've lost out on so much time with the people that are alive. I'm just saying, don't fuck it up any more than you already have. You can finish this, and then have a second chance with them."

He chuckled quietly and shook his head.

"What is so goddamn funny?"

"You just... you remind me of Mary."

"Their mom?"

He nodded. "She was full of fire, too. She would've killed for those two. You love them?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"You can come."

"I didn't ask your permission." I said, standing.

"Noted." He downed the rest of his coffee and turned to leave.

I grabbed his arm, stopping him. "You should know that I would die for those two, and I trust them more than anyone. But you..." I shook my head. "I don't trust you at all. You have that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

"The look of someone who will stop at nothing. That's a dangerous look, because revenge isn't worth losing the people that are still here. If it comes down to them or the demon, we are gone. Do you hear me?"

"This is why you have to keep your emotions out of it. The love, the family of it all can get you killed." He put his jacket back on.

"Love isn't a problem, John, it's the solution." I shook my head. _The Winchester's are all the same._

———————

John and I found Sam and Dean sitting in the motel room. I walked to Dean and rated my hand on his shoulder. "So, what's the plan?

Dean looked up at me and then to his father. "She worked you over." He grinned.

"She was very persuasive."

"Yeah." Dean smiled up at me. "She does that."

I squeezed his shoulder.

"We are looking for this." He said, bringing out a drawing of a gun.

"A gun?" Sam asked.

"Not just a gun. It's the Colt." John said. "It can kill anything." He said with a mischievous grin.

"Sounds too good to be true." I commented.

"It is." He agreed. "It only has three bullets left."

"So where is the magic gun?" Dean asked, crossing his arms.

"A friend has it. I'm going to meet him tonight." He looked at his watch. "Soon, actually."

"Do you know where the demon is?"

"I know where he will be." John said, looking to Sam.

"And then?" Dean asked.

"And then we kill the son of a bitch."

"I'm going with you to get the gun." Dean said.

Sam stood up. "Me, too."

"We don't need the cavalry to get it from one guy." John said, waiving them off. "Sam you can come. Dean, you and Ava get ready for the fight. Make sure we are all stocked up on everything."

"Sounds good." I said, tugging Dean down. He was worked up. He needed to be calm if we were going to do this.

"We will be back." John said, putting his gun in his belt.

"Bye." Sam said, nodding to me.

They exited the motel, and I slowly sat next to Dean. "So what did you say to him?"

"I told him he was an asshat for leaving you."

"I bet he loved that."

I smiled a bit. "I think he actually did. He seemed happy that you have someone who cares about you."

"I'm happy about that, too."

"Good." I smiled, and leaned in to kiss him.

"You won over John Freaking Winchester."

"And both of his sons." I grinned, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm o for three."

Sam

We picked the lock on Daniel Elkins door. "You sure we shouldn't just knock? I asked, as Dad focused on the lock.

"We aren't exactly on speaking terms."

Dad had a falling out with almost everyone he ever interacted with, so I wasn't exactly surprised.

The lock clicked and he slowly pushed the door open. He put his gun up. I followed his lead and raised mine. We slowly stepped through the threshold into the dark motel room.

I reached out to my left and flipped the light switch.

"Fuck." Dad exhaled as he took in the scene in front of us. Daniel Elkins was tied to a chair that was now turned over with his bloodied body in it. His throat was slit. He moved to the safe that was wide open. The colt was nowhere to be found. "Damn it." He turned and kicked his boot into the wall hard.

"Dad." I said as I bent down to touch a yellow dust by Elkins body. "Sulfur."

"They're going for the gate."

"What do you mean?" I asked him. He had this crazy look in his eyes. "What gate?"

He lowered his gun and met my gaze. "They're trying to open the gate to hell, and if they succeed they're going to let them out. They're going to let all the demons out."

——————

"They have the gun," Dad said as we entered the motel room. "We have to strike now, before it's too late."

Ava and Dean had assembled holy water bombs, and an array of other weapons.

"What's our move?" Dean asked.

"Sam Colt was the best hunter of his time, maybe ever." Dad laid out a map. "He bought these pieces of land, and created a personal railroad to connect them."

"Is that?" I asked, leaning in.

"It's a giant devils trap." Ava said, running her fingers along the drawn shape. "Genius."

"He was." Dad agreed. "Here." He pointed at the center. "Is the devils gate. The gate to hell. The gun is the key."

"They can't get in, though. Right?" Ava questioned. "They can't get past the devils trap. Railroads are made of iron."

"The demons can't." Dad agreed. "But that doesn't mean that they can't send in someone else."

"You think yellow eyes will be there?" I asked.

"I know he will be."

Dean frowned. "How can you know that?"

"Because he is running the show. He is starting the apocalypse."

"Well, lets kill two birds with own stone. Kill Yellow Eyes, and stop the apocalypse." Dean said calmly.

"Just another Tuesday." Ava grinned.


	20. The End

Ava

We pulled up to the edge of the Devils trap at sunset. John drove the Impala and Dean and I were in the back seat. I was surprised he wasn't upfront next to his father. Instead he sat next to me, gripping my hand in his. He was afraid, and if they opened the gate to Hell we should all be afraid.

I squeezed his hand back and put my spare hand on top of his. His hands were clammy. "Hey." I whispered as I pressed my lip to the space beneath his ear. "You good?"

"Golden." He responded, barely above a whisper.

He thought we were going to lose.

We got out of the car. We had blades, guns, and holy water strapped to every empty space on our bodies. I wore a pair of skinny jeans tucked into boots. My gun was in my waist band and another strapped to my thigh. I had my hair in a braid down my back so it wouldn't get in my way.

"Let's do this." Sam said, nodding to his father. They stepped over the iron railroad rails into the giant devils trap and began slowly creeping toward the center.

I took a step forward before I felt Dean grab my hand. “Wait a second."

I turned to him. "What's wrong?"

He held my face in his hands and kissed me urgently. "Don't get hurt. Hell isn't worth a single hair on your head."

"Don't get sentimental, Winchester." I said, leaning into his hands. "Let's stop the apocalypse." I wiggled my eyebrows at him, but it didn't change the wrinkle on his forehead.

I clicked the safety off my gun and stepped over the line. Dean followed closely behind.

We caught up with Sam and John quickly, and made our way to the center. The wind was howling around us, thunder booming, lightening lighting up the sky. Something was coming. I just hoped to god that we would beat them to the punch. We had to find the gun.

I never told the boys, but I'd met them before. I was probably 8 years old. I was at Bobby's while my parents were celebrating their anniversary. I was told to stay in the back room when John and his boys arrived. Sam was little, around five years old.

I couldn't help but watch them from the back room. Sam would try to play, but Dean was so serious. He kept telling Sam to stop, at least while John was there.

Bobby had this patch of flowers outside the house that his wife had planted. I snuck out the back door and gathered a small bouquet. I snuck back inside and laid the flowers in front of the boys door.

Kids should be happy. I was under the impression that Dean had never smelled a rose. If he had, then he couldn't be so sad. I watched him open the door and pick them up. He looked around before pressing his nose to the flowers. He smiled. I didn't know what he did with them after, but I was just so happy that he was able to smile.

I could make him smile forever.

I looked up a the sky. "Dean." I murmured.

"What?" He asked, following my gaze.

Large bellows of black demon smoke circled around our heads. They were beating down the devils trap. They wanted to see it, the gate to hell.

"We need to hurry." Dean said, changing into a jog. I followed quickly on his heels. Sam and John met our pace easily.

The wind and weather got worse the closer we got to the center of the devils trap. The closer we got to the gate.

My braid whipped around me. The air seemed to chill. It was heavy, and my chest ached.

"The center is a cemetery." John said. "We are getting close."

The closer we got to the center the less demon activity I could see. They couldn't get to us, not here.

We opened the gate to enter the cemetery and John waived for us to cover all the edges.

I could see a man. He was tall, and obviously ex military. He was strong, I could tell by his wide shoulders and the way that his jacket was snug against his arms. In his right hand he held the Colt. He wasn't being cautious, not enough. So he didn't see us walk up behind him.

"Stop right there." Dean said. All of our guns were raised an pointed at him.

He turned and looked at us. He was human. He couldn't be a demon, because he was in the trap. My heart squeezed. "What do they have on you?" I asked him. "We can help, just don't do this. You don't have to do this."

He smiled then, showing all of his teeth. "Little girl you don't know anything, do you?" Something sparked in his eyes. "Put that gun to your head."

My hand started to shake, as I felt my arm curl up. I wasn't in control. It felt like a muscle twitch at first, but then I didn't feel like me at all. My body wasn't my own. "Dean." I managed to croak out as the metal of my gun touched my temple.

"Let her go." Dean commanded.

"You put your guns down."

The men looked to each other before lowering their guns.

"Good." He said before taking off toward the crypt he stood in front of.

I could feel my finger press on the trigger as John pushed the gun away from my head. It went off and my muscles relaxed again.

Sam and Dean unloaded their clips into him, but it was too late. The man pushed the Colt into a hole in the center of the door and the inscription in it started to spin. He fell face first into the dirt.

Dean walked to me and pulled me into a hug. "That was close." He whispered into my hair.

There was a click and we all turned toward the door.

"Get down!" John yelled.

Dean yanked me down behind a headstone and pulled me against him to protect me from the blast. I held onto him tightly, but even from down below there was a rush of black smoke. I could feel it pulsing in the air. The demons were pouring out of Hell. The sheer number of them were breaking through the iron rails, letting in the demons circling. It was a wind storm of demons.

"We have to close the gate!" Sam shouted.

Dean nodded and released me from his grip before pushing back out to the gate.

Dean

I ran as hard as I could to the gate. Demons poured out of it, and walking towards the gate was like running into a hurricane. Dad, Sam, and Ava were pushing up behind me. I reached forward and pulled the Colt from the hole it was stuck in. I yanked and flew backwards, smacking into a gravestone a few yards back.

"Damn." I groaned as I sat up. The three of them pushed against each side of the doors, trying to close the gate.

They seemed to be making a little headway when I saw a man walking towards me. "I think that belongs to me." He said gesturing to the Colt.

I looked up and saw his eyes. They were yellow.

"You bitch." I shakily raised the gun to him.

He tilted his head to the side and with a wave of his hand the Colt flew. "Uh uh. Don't play with Daddy's guns."

"Dean!" Ava called to me, a look of terror in her eyes. She looked to the gate and to me, before she ran to me.

Yellow eyes cut her off and grabbed both of her arms.

"Ava!" I shouted, standing up. "Let her go, dick!" He flicked a finger, and I was pressed against the headstone. I couldn't move. I struggled against the invisible force holding me.

He looked at her. "You care about this girl." He touched her cheek. "You wouldn't kill me if I were inside of her." He opened his mouth, his smoke trickling out. It stopped at her lips and sucked back into his body. "She's warded."

I met Ava's eyes. Sam and Dad almost had the gate closed, but since Ava abandoned it they were struggling to push the doors together. 

“Where, oh where." He said eyeballing her open skin, his fingers trailed along the bottom of her shirt and he lifted it. "There we are." Ava struggled against the arm that held her. He was a demon, and he was too strong for her. He pulled out a knife and pressed it against her tattoo, slicing it.

Her mouth opened in a scream, causing Sam to turn and look at us. "Dean!" He shouted. Dad gave him a nod and he moved from the gate, running towards us.

Yellow eyes grinned at me. "I wonder how it'll feel to be so pretty." He opened his mouth and his smoke screeched out and flowed into Ava's parted lips.

Lightening danced above our heads, and thunder shook the graveyard.

The man that was possessed fell to the ground next to Ava. She cracked her neck and opened her eyes. They glowed yellow. She leaned down and picked up the Colt. "Can't use this, can you boys?"

"Ava can you hear me? Resist!" I fought harder.

"I'm in her head, you know." Yellow Eyes said with a smile. "There's a lot she doesn't say."

Dad pushed the gate shut and turned to us. "Azazel!" He yelled.

Ava turned to him, blinking in surprise. "John Winchester." She folded her arms across her chest. "I thought it was time we met. These are your boys?" She laughed, and flicked a finger, releasing me. "They won't let you kill me."

"They don't have a choice." Dad said, as he burst into a run.

"No, no, no." Yellow eyes said, bringing the blade up to Ava's throat. "I can still possess her even if she's dying, even if she's dead."

"You won't kill her." Sam growled. "She's your leverage."

"True." Yellow eyes shrugged. "But I can hurt her." He took the knife and cut her arm, blood pouring out. "I can hear her screaming." Ava's eyebrows wiggled. "She's afraid."

"I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!" I shouted.

Sam started chanting.

"An exorcism? Really?" He said, taking the knife and plunging it in between Ava's ribs.

Sam paused for a moment, as Ava balled over.

She looked up, and the yellow eyes were gone. "Dean. Kill him." She coughed out, blood pouring out of her lips. She tossed the gun my way. I caught it with shakes hands. "Let me go." She said before her eyes rolled back into her head. She blinked and they were yellow again. "Feisty thing." He said. "But you won't, Will you, Dean?"

I held up the gun. "It's what she would want?"

"You'd really shoot your girlfriend and your baby?"

The air went cold around me and my hands shook. "You're a liar."

"I'm not." Yellow eyes said, with his hands up. He reached down and touched Ava's stomach. "I can hear the little heart beat. I can tell that she didn't know, not really. In denial." Ava's mouth opened and a sinister laugh escaped her lips. "Probably doesn't want to admit that the father is someone like you. A Winchester. You're all cursed." He hissed.

"Shoot it son!" Dad shouted in desperation.

"She's in there!" My voice shook. "Sammy do the exorcism."

Sam started to chant again.

I could see her leaning over the toilet, throwing up. She had seemed off ever since then. She couldn't be. We were careful... we were...

" _I know you're worried about me hunting, but I'm going to do it anyway." She pulled up her dress, causing my heart to skip a beat. She wore black lace panties, and a matching bra. My breath hitched in my throat as my eyes traveled up her pale skin. They landed on a black anti possession tattoo on her ribs. "I'm here for the long hall, so don't use me hunting as an excuse. If you don't want me, then just say it."_

That night in the motel. I was enchanted by her. I was drunk.

"Son do it, quick!"

Yellow eyes growled out at Sams exorcism, he took the knife and drug it across Ava's throat.

It went is slow motion. I could see the veins popping, and blood pouring like a waterfall.

"No!" I shouted. I could see the black smoke start to escape from her lips, and I pulled the trigger. I could see the the bullet spin. It collided with her chest before Yellow Eyes could smoke out. I watched his eyes widen as white hot electricity rolled through Ava's skin and in to his spirit. He cried out in pain, and it didn't sound like Ava at all.

He went dark, and her eyes looked human again. I dropped the Colt and ran to her, catching her in my arms before she hit the ground.

She was already gone.


	21. A Bad Deal

Dean

It was over. We killed the demon we had been hunting our whole lives. It was over, but at what cost?

I held Ava in my arms. Azazel said she was pregnant. I closed her eyes and pulled her to my chest. He had to be lying.

"Dean." Sam said with a shaking voice as he walked toward me.

I cradled Ava against my chest. I should have listened to my Dad. Made her stay behind. She should have never come along.

She was my responsibility. She was family. I never told her how important she was. She died afraid.

I put a bullet in her chest. There would be no forgiveness for that.

"Son." Dad walked to me. "Let's go."

I shook my head.

I couldn't move. I was covered in her blood. I looked down at her flat stomach. She couldn't have been. Not that it mattered. She was gone.

"Come on." Sam said, touching my arm.

"Ava."

"Let's take her home." Sam offered.

"What home?" I asked angrily.

"To Bobby's." Dad said. "He will want to say goodbye."

I shook my head, scooping her into my arms as I stood. "No one is saying goodbye."

She was my responsibility. I pulled her into bed. If I stayed an ass she would've left. This was my fault. I had to fix it.

"Dean!" Sam called after me.

I didn't realize I was running until I got to the Impala. I laid her in the back seat. I shrugged out of my jacket and laid it over her. If it weren't for all the blood she may have looked like she was sleeping, but I knew better.

I looked up to find Sammy almost caught up. I couldn't let him stop me. I shut the door and got in the drivers seat. I pulled out onto the road and I started to drive.

" _Can we just stay here forever?" Ava asked, resting on my chest. She ran her finger along my tattoo. She was tracing the image._

" _I'd like that." I agreed. I ran my fingers down her spine._

" _We can't." She sighed and kissed my chest._

" _You're wishy washy."_

" _I'm a realist." She smiled against my skin. "Forever is impossible."_

" _Dark."_

" _Mhm. Nothing lasts forever, Dean. We only have today."_

My head was spinning.

I didn't deserve her. I always knew that, but I wanted to be with her anyway. Selfish.

I could picture her, for just a second, with a big round belly. " _Dean! No pictures!"_

I'd smile. " _Shh you're beautiful."_

Maybe we could still have it. Maybe this wasn't the end. Maybe we could have tomorrow.

Sam

"Dean!" I screamed as he got into the car. Dad and I were a few feet behind him as he drove away. "Damn it!"

"He's being reckless."

I turned to Dad and shook my head. "I can't believe you."

"Excuse me?"

I shook my head. "You told him to kill her."

"She was possessed. Collateral damage."

I stopped and stared at him. "He's in love with her. You did all of this because you love Mom. So how can you not understand him wanting to protect Ava? Both of us wanting to protect her."

Dad frowned. "I would never bring someone else into this life. Not after knowing what I know. That's what I don't respect."

"Well it's over now." I sighed, shaking my head. "You know, we have spent all this time looking for you, but we may be better off alone."

"I don't know, Son. Maybe you would be." He met my eyes. "We need to catch up with your brother before he does something stupid."

"He won't. He probably just needs some time. He needs to say goodbye."

Dad laughed, and it startled me.

"What's so funny?"

"You boys think you know each other so well. Dean has never openly loved anyone. You claim he's in love with her and you really believe he isn't going to try like hell to bring her back?"

I stared at his amused expression. He looked like Dean, and his smug attitude pissed me off more. The worst part, though, is he could be right. "Let's go to Bobby's. He will meet us there."

We walked for half an hour before finding a car to steal. We made it back to Dads car and headed to Bobby's. It was a long and quiet ride. Dad drove so I tried to get ahold of Dean.

It was going straight to voicemail. The longer he didn't answer the more sick to my stomach I felt.

_Please don't do something that can't be undone._

Dean

I pulled up to a four way stop and threw the drivers side door open. I opened the trunk to the Impala, and dug around until I found a small wooden box. Inside held a box of graveyard dirt, and a few small bones. I took out one of my fake ID's and tossed it into the box.

I crouched in the middle of where the roads connected, and I dug a small hole. I sat the box in it, and covered it with dirt. My palms were flat against the ground. What would she say if she knew? Maybe she's would never have to find out. I probably won't live more than ten years anyway. Maybe we won't even be together anymore by then. If I was smart I'd set her and the kid free. If there even is a kid. I felt nauseous thinking about it.

I stood up and took a deep breath. "Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae."

"Dean Winchester. Color me surprised." A female voice said from behind me.

I turned to find a young blonde, probably no more than 18. My stomach clenched at the sight. She was just a kid.

"I want to make a deal."

"Of course you do." She said coolly, stepping toward me. "I heard that you killed Azazel." She examined her nails, like she was bored. "I heard it came at a cost."

I clenched my fist at my side and nodded. "He said my girlfriend was pregnant." I said quietly. I didn't want to ask, but I had to make sure that the deal included the kid if it existed.

The demon laughed quietly. "Oh, sweetie. Dean Winchester, a _father_? It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"I'm not here to play around."

"Of course not, darling."

"Can you tell me if it's true? Was she pregnant?"

She raised an eyebrow. "The one in the car?"

My back straightened. "Yes."

"She was."

It felt like all the air was knocked out of my chest. " _Dean, do demons ever tell the truth?"_ I was going to be a father. That was something I never thought I'd have. Something I never allowed myself to want. Was I really going to bring a kid into this shit show?

My head was spinning.

"I want you to bring her and the baby back."

The demon pressed her fingers to her lips to stifle a laugh. "Of course you do, but the thing is, Dean, you don't have anything I want."

"Sure I do. My soul."

"The soul of a Winchester. Sounds... tasty." She winked at me.

"So, do we have a deal? You bring her and the baby back, and after ten years you can collect my soul."

The demon looked surprised, and flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. "You've gotta be joking."

"I'm not. What is so goddamn funny?"

"We aren't supposed to be dealing with you at _all_ let alone allow you to live for ten more years? No. Not happening."

"Fine." I gritted my teeth. What could I afford? "8 years." She shook her head. I swallowed hard. "Six?"

"Sweetie, you don't understand. It isn't your soul I want, exactly, we want our people to stop dying. You're a hunter, so therefore you're a real problem. So no. I won't give you time. You have no time right now, so what right do you have to negotiate?"

"Three years." I sounded like a was begging. Maybe I was.

"I'll give you six months. Six months of bliss with your baby momma and then my hounds will come for you. That's the best I can do." She pursed her lips. "And I'm only being that sweet because you look so damn pathetic."

Six months. I would never meet our child. Maybe it was for the best. I could see Ava's pale body in the backseat. Her slit throat was ingrained in my brain.

"But I will be watching you, Winchester. Try anything funny. Try to get out of dying, and she will be rotting at your feet." The Demon promised.

"Deal." I said, fighting the burning in my eyes as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.

She was gone in an instant, and I turned to jog back to the car. I flung open the back seat to find Ava sitting up slowly. "Hey." I whispered.

"Hey." She croaked, her voice was raw. "What happened?"

I pulled her into my arms. I felt the warmth of her skin, and her heartbeat in her neck below my fingers. I could feel the hot tears roll down my cheeks, but I couldn't stop them.

"Dean," She murmured stroking my back. "What's wrong? Is Sam...?"

"Sam's fine." I finally said after a moment. "Everyone's fine." I pulled back so I could look at her. She was still covered in blood but her neck wound was healed. I ran my fingers through her hair and along her cheek before pulling her into a kiss.

She smiled and kissed me back before pulling back. "Then what's wrong? What happened? It's all really foggy."

"The demon had you." I told her, stroking the back of her neck. "We managed to do the exorcism."

"So, you didn't kill it?"

"No, we uh, we got it at the last minute. Apparently the colt works on the smoke, too."

"That's great!" She mused, her blue eyes lighting up.

"Let's get you cleaned up, and then I'd like to get you checked out at the ER."

"Why? I feel fine." She shrugged.

I chewed the inside of my cheek. How could I bring it up? I took her hands in mine. "The demon just... he said some things about you. I just want to make sure you're okay."

She looked at her shirt that was stiff from dried blood. "Said stuff about what? Whose blood is this?"

"It's not yours. It's okay." I assured her.

"What are you not telling me?" She asked, pulling her hands away.

My head dipped. I didn't know how to say it. It was all coming out wrong. "He said.." I took a deep breath and met her eyes. "He said you were pregnant."

The color drained from her face. "I..." tears welled up in her eyes. "I missed my period, but I just thought it was from the stress. The travel. All the jobs... I just felt out of whack." Her hand covered her mouth to stifle her shocked expression.

"Hey, hey. It's okay I've got you." I steadied her with my hands. "I'm here for you. We are in this together." I had to be strong for her, but I was fucking terrified.

"What are we going to do?"

"One step at a time." I said, rubbing her arms. "Let's go by the doctor and see what we are dealing with."

"Dealing with?" She laughed and wiped a tear from her cheek. "This isn't a case, Dean. It's not that easy."

"We slay vamps, and kill demons. We can handle this." I lied, kissing her forehead.

"Where's John and Sam? Do they know?"

"They heard him say it, but none of us were sure if he was telling the truth." I admitted.

"There's still a chance, then." She exhaled.

"A chance for what?" I tilted her chin up with my fingers.

"That this is all a dream."

————————

We stopped by a motel and got her all showered, and changed.

I felt like a stalker standing outside of the bathroom, but I needed to hear her movements. I needed to know that she was alive, that this wasn't a dream. Things were strained between us. The idea of her being pregnant was sending Ava spinning. She took twice as long as she normally did in the shower.

_I did this to her._

I glanced at my phone to find seven missed calls from Sam. He was freaking out, but I couldn't call him back yet. I couldn't let him know what I did.

Ava dried her hair and we headed to the doctor. We were lucky and a local OB resident had the afternoon free. I wanted to hold her hand when we walked into the clinic, but her hands were buried in her jacket pockets. She was shifting nervously as she filled out the paperwork.

"Ava Langston." The nurse called after a painstakingly long wait.

I stood up next to her.

"You're coming?" She asked self consciously.

"Yeah... if you want me to."

"Okay." She said quietly.

The nurse was chatting away as she measured Ava's weight, and height. "Doc wants you to give us an urine sample." She said calmly as she handed Ava the cup. "I'll take Dad down the hall. We are in room 34 all the way at the end to the right."

Ava looked sick to her stomach, and I didn't want to leave her. "It's okay." I said touching her arm.

She avoided my eyes, but nodded. I never witnessed her like that. She always seemed fearless, but as she walked into the bathroom she looked unbelievably small.

"So, is this your first?" The nurse asked as she ushered me into the examination room.

"Yeah." I grunted.

"That's so exciting!"

I raised an eyebrow. At least someone was excited. "We aren't even sure if she's pregnant." I said carefully.

"I see a lot of couples come in that try not to be excited, because of the risks early on. If something happens you'll be let down anyway. I think the positivity helps the fetus develop. It's a gift from God, after all."

God. I wasn't sure he even existed, but I knew he didn't give a shit about me. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, not like this.

Ava

I stared at the empty cup in my hands. _How did this happen?_ I knew why.

_His hands were on my skin. Tracing my tattoo. My heart was racing as his lips touched mine. "You taste like Vodka."_

" _You taste like wine."_

Dean wasn't the father type. He wasn't the kind to stick around and change diapers. He was a good man, but he was a hunter. He would never stop. If he did, would he even still be Dean?

I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready for everything to change. I sighed, and positioned the cup. I filled it to the line and slid it into the trap door in the wall. After washing my hands I made it to the room. "All done." I smiled weakly.

"Let's get your blood pressure!" The peppy nurse said after ushering me to sit on the exam table. She pressed the two Velcro pieces together and it started to squeeze. "It's a little high." She commented. "No need to be nervous."

I smiled weakly. "I'll try."

"So from your paperwork I estimate you're about 6 weeks give or take."

"Is my... sample back? Do we have confirmation?"

"Doctor will bring that in." She said sweetly. "Go ahead and get undressed from the waist down. We will do a transvaginal ultrasound since you're so early. Press the green button when you're done. She will be in to see you soon."

The nurse closed the door and left Dean, and I alone. The air was thick. It grew thicker when he turned away so I could get undressed. I felt sick.

I dropped my jeans and sat on the table, covering myself with the sheet that was provided. I clicked the green button. "I'm covered." I said quietly.

He turned to me with a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Not good." I admitted.

His eyes widened in alarm. "What's wrong? Do you feel sick? Weak?"

"Just nervous." I clarified. "This wasn't exactly in the plan, was it?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly." We sat in silence for a moment before he stood. His mouth opened, "Ava I..."

There was a quick rap at the door before the OB opened the door. "Hello, Ava? I'm Doctor Ross." She offered her hand to me, and I took it. "And this is?"

"This is Dean." I said weakly. "My...my..." My tongue couldn't form words.

"Her boyfriend." Dean said with an award winning smile. He shook her hand.

He didn't sit back down. He just hovered next to me.

Doctor Ross looked between us, and then made eye contact with me again. "According to your urine sample you do have the HGC hormone."

"What does that mean?" Dean asked wringing his fingers.

"It means I'm pregnant." I said, defeated. "Right?"

"These tests are very precise, but we will see more with the ultrasound. Ava go ahead and put your legs on the stirrups." She wheeled the ultrasound machine over and flicked the light.

I slid my feet into the stirrups and felt the cool breeze between my legs. My heart was pounding and my eyes were filling with tears.

"I'm going to insert the instrument. You'll feel some pressure."

I looked up to find Dean studying my face. His hand rested near mine, with his palm up. I grabbed it and laced my fingers with his just as the wand slid between my legs. I gasped and squeezed his hand. I clamped my eyes shut.

He touched my arm with his free hand, and I opened my eyes. I just needed a single look. I needed to memorize his features. Our time was limited. I knew he would run out of the clinic like it was on fire. We had an expiration date.

"Alright." Doctor Ross said, with a smile. "Take a look." She said, pointing to the screen.

It all looked very dark and alien, but we both looked. She moved the wand around until she got a good view.

"See that? That's your uterus. That's the yoke sack." She smiled making a few clicks. "And that's your baby. Six weeks along just like we anticipated."

My heart dropped. It looked sort of like a peanut. I heard Dean suck in his breath and squeeze my hand tightly. I turned to look at him. In the light from the screen I could see a tear rolling down his cheek as he leaned forward to get a better look. "That?" He asked, pointing. "That's our baby?"

Doctor Ross smiled. "Yes, Dean. That's your baby."

He looked down at me with a huge grin and then back at Doctor Ross. "Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?"

I laughed a little, wiping my own tears.

"It's a little early." The doctor said with a smile.

"Oh." He said, looking disappointed.

"You'll know in about six weeks."

"That's not that long." He said, grinning again. He leaned down and kissed my hair. "Right?"

"Right." I agreed softly.

"Do you two want some images?"

"Yes." Dean said before I could. "Can we have a lot? I think my brother would like a copy."

"Sure." She said with a smile. She captured the image on her screen and removed the wand. "I'll give you two a minute. You can get the images from the front desk. I want to see you back in six weeks, Ava. So make the appointment while you're there."

"Okay."

She flipped on the light and shut the door behind her. I sat up, letting my legs hang over the edge of the exam table. "You want this."

"I was trying to keep it cool." He said quietly before taking both my hands in his. "But, yeah. I do. As long as it's what you want."

I couldn't hold it in anymore. My mouth opened to speak and a sob erupted from my lips. I could feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Hey." Dean said, sitting next to me. He wrapped his strong arms around me and let me cry into his chest. After a few minutes I was able to calm back down. I looked up at him, with fuzzy tear filled eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want this. I want all of it. I don't know how we are going to do it, but I want to try."

He grinned widely and pressed his lips to mine.

In the moment, in our own little bubble, everything seemed like it would work out. It felt like we could do anything.

He pulled away and touched my stomach.

"It feels weird." I said quietly.

"It feels right." He whispered back.


	22. Better Man

Dean

I put the Impala in park outside of Bobby's, and I turned to Ava. "So, Listen. I've been dodging Sams calls since the gate. I kind of took you and split, so he's gonna be pissed. Can you just do me a favor and head back to the room so I can deal with the repercussions? Then we can tell them, you know, once they've calmed down."

"Why didn't you answer his calls?"

"I don't know." I lied. "I was kind of freaked out. I needed space. I just wanted to be alone with you."

"You probably scared him." She said taking my hand. "But okay. Make it right with your brother. I'll hang back."

"Thank you." I said kissing her.

I needed some time. They wouldn't be happy when they find out what I did. What I had to do. The ultrasound photo felt heavy in my pocket.

We got out of the car. I pushed into the house to find Sam, Bobby, and Dad sitting around the kitchen talking. "Dean." Sam said standing. "Where have you..." He stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened as Ava stepped in the door behind me. "Ava."

"Hey Sam."

He stepped past me and pulled her into his arms in a tight hug. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

Ava laughed and hugged him back. "I'm okay. I'm just a little tired." They pulled back from the hug. "I think I'm going to go lay down."

"Sure." Sam said. "Sleep well."

Ava gave everyone a smile, but her eyebrow was raised like she was suspicious. Bobby's mouth was hanging open. Dad and Sam must've broken the news. "I'll be there in a few minutes." I promised Ava.

"Okay." She smiled and walked back to the room she usually stayed in.

"What did you do?" Sam asked, as he grabbed my shirt in his hands.

"Hey. You can kick my ass outside." I said low. "No need to interrupt her nap."

"Fine." Sam said, letting me go.

The four of us walked out into the scrap yard, away from the house so we wouldn't be heard.

"What did you do?" Sam asked, raising his voice. "She was dead."

I shook my head. I couldn't bring myself to say it, not to Sam.

"How much time did you get?" Dad asked. He was leaning against a car with his arms crossed.

I looked up, meeting his eyes. "Six months."

"Son." Dad said shaking his head. He covered his mouth with his hand. He was holding back.

"Six months, until what?" Sam asked.

"You know what." Bobby said, touching Sams shoulder.

Sams fists shook at his side before one flew and collided with my jaw. "You fucking idiot! You sold your soul!"

I staggered back, holding my jaw. Damn the kid hit good. I smiled. At least I taught him something worth while. "I did, Sammy. Of course I did."

Sam couldn't hold back anymore. Tears ran down his cheeks. "You idiot. We will find a way out of this."

I shook my head. "No, Sammy. We won't. If we try anything she will die. Do you hear me? So we won't do shit."

Sam ran his fingers through his hair. "How do you think she would feel if she knew that you'd be in Hell for her? How is she going to feel?"

"You can't tell her, Sammy." I looked around at the men. "None of you can. Beat the shit out of me. Do what you need to do to make peace with this, but don't tell her."

"She deserves to know, Dean." Bobby said softly.

"She can't handle the stress." I said quietly, reaching into my pocket. I handed the ultrasound to Sam. "We have to protect her, Sammy. We have to protect them."

Sam stared at the image. "Azazel wasn't lying?"

I shook my head. "No, man." I met my brothers eyes and we both smiled a little.

"Dean Winchester is gonna be a Dad. That's a phrase I never thought I'd say."

"No kidding." I grinned.

Bobby grabbed the ultrasound and sucked in his breath. "You and Ava?"

I nodded.

Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm pissed at you, Son. I am, but selfishly I am so glad you did this." He pulled me into a hug. "You saved our girl. You gave her a chance."

I nodded and hugged him back sucking in my breath. "I know."

"Dean, can we talk?"

I looked at Dad and nodded. "Sure."

We got in the car, Dad in the drivers seat. He pulled out of Bobby's and started to drive. "I know I haven't been the best father." He said softly.

"You did your best."

"I've been consumed with revenge."

"Trust me," I sighed. "After today I can see how easy it is."

He pulled over and turned to me. "I don't say it enough. Hell, maybe I've never said it, but I'm proud of you. You did the right thing. I'm just sorry that you won't have a chance to be a father to that kid."

I looked at my dad and swallowed hard. The corners of his eyes were wet. He was being sincere. "Well, maybe you'll get a chance to be a Grandpa." I joked.

He put his hand on his chest. "That's not something I ever thought I would hear!"

"That seems to be the theme of today." I laughed dryly.

"I'm sorry, Son. I'm sorry you had to grow up in this life. You should take the rest of this time and be with her. I got four years with you and your mom. It was the best time of my life."

"What're you going to do now? Think you'll stick around for awhile?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"You should know," I began "That you were never a failure to me. I'm who I am because of you. I sold my soul because I knew it's what you would've done. You wouldn't have hesitated, if it saved Mom."

He sniffled and avoided my gaze. "I would have."

"I may never get the chance to be a father, but because of you I know the kind of father I'd want to be."

———————

I checked in on Ava when I got back to Bobbys. She was asleep, curled up in a ball hugging her pillow. She deserved the rest. I could stare at her forever.

I shut the door slowly so I wouldn't disturb her, and went upstairs to Sams room. It was late, and he should be asleep, but I knew better. He was sitting on his bed, hunched over his computer. "I hope you aren't looking for ways for me to get out of this deal."

He sighed and shut the laptop. "What did Dad want?"

I sat across from him on my old bed. "He wanted to tell me he was proud of me."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like him."

"Right?" I laughed. "I don't know if it's that I'm going to die, or the whole baby thing that's got him sentimental."

"I'm proud of you, too." Sam said softly.

"Let's not do that shit."

"You deserve to know. You've spent your whole life thinking you don't deserve to be loved, but look at you." He gestured to me. "You gave your life for love."

I shook my head. "Ava is my responsibility. That baby is my responsibility. Nothing more than that."

"Yeah, okay." Sam rolled his eyes.

"But listen, when I'm gone I'll need your help. Protect her. Protect them. Watch out for them."

Sam nodded eagerly. "Of course I will. I'm going to be an uncle." He grinned. "That'll never not be weird."

"Agreed." I laid back on my bed and Sam followed, lying on his back. We stared at the old ceiling. "I'll never meet the kid." I said quietly. "Probably better that way."

"It isn't. Trust me. Knowing you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Shut up."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

"You know she's going to find out." Sam said quietly.

"I know."

"You just hoping its when you're dramatically ripped apart by hellhounds?"

"Kind of." I admitted with a laugh. "It'll be about the same reaction than if she found out. She's got some sharp claws."

"You don't want to break her heart."

"Already got her killed. Feel like its the least I can do."

"Then you know you won't be able to just crawl away and die like I'm sure you'd prefer. That'd break her heart, too."

"Then what should I do, Sammy? Marry her? Either way I'm toast in six months. Not sure what's going to make that easier. Nothing can." I exhaled and closed my eyes. The exhaustion was weighing on me.

"Maybe you should see what she wants."

"I want to protect her."

"I know you do." Sam said, sitting up. "But, Dean, you can't make all of her choices for her. It isn't fair. She deserves to have a say."

He was right. I knew he was, but it was easier to be in denial a little longer. "What do you know about women, Sam?" I stood up.

"Not much." He said quietly, giving in.

Ava

The bed dipped to my right as Dean crawled in next to me. I yawned. I was exhausted. I opened an eye to look at him in the darkness. "How'd it go?" My voice was soft from sleep. _How long have I been out_? Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones making me tired.

"I told them." He said, pulling me into his arms.

"Without me?" I poked out my bottom lip. I was excited to tell them the news.

"Sam was really pissed. He squeezed it out of me."

"He looked really freaked when I walked in. Was it that close of a call?"

He nodded, and rested his chin against my head. "We don't want to lose you, Ave."

"I don't want to lose you two either." I pulled his arms around me tighter. "This is all surreal, isn't it?"

"Yeah." His hand slid from mine to my stomach. He rested his hand flat there, and his breathing seemed to relax. I smiled and put my hand over his.

"So, Winchester. What now?"

"Now we sleep." He said with a yawn. "One day at a time, Langston."

"Fine." I whispered. "We can pause for now. Just because these hormones have me exhausted." I snuggled closer to him.

"Better get used to that feeling." He chuckled. "I hear you don't sleep much with kids."

"Well you better get used to it, too. I'm not going to be the only one up with him."

"Him?"

I shrugged. "Feels like a boy to me. When I picture him, he looks like you." I looked up to him.

"So he's unbelievably handsome."

"Mhm." I smiled and pressed my lips to his.

"I don't want him to be anything like me. I hope the baby is all you." He said touching my cheek. "Then it can be nothing but good."

"You are good, Dean."

"When I'm with you, I am."

"Then lets never be apart." I looked at him in the darkness. It seemed obvious, but he was blind. He always had been.

"I'd like that."

"Then do it."

His thumb rubbed small circles on my stomach. "I can't wait to see you get bigger."

"You want me to be fat?"

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"Jerk." I said, smacking his chest gently.

"Bitch." He said initiatively.

I raised my eyebrows.

"Shit I'm sorry." He said instantly. I could see the whites of his eyes in the darkness.

I bursted into laughter. "I think I like you, Dean."

He met my laughter. "Me too, Ave."

There was more to be said in the darkness, but no matter what was happening some things never changed. We couldn't say it. Not to each other. Part of me still worried that he was a step away from leaving. Everything with Dean felt so temporary. It may not be what he wanted, or what I wanted, but I felt like the end was coming.


	23. Time

Ava

"Why do they call it morning sickness if it happens all damn day?" I asked. We were in the bathtub in the master bathroom at Bobby's house. It was a small tub that was filled with bubbles. Dean sat across from me. We were twisted like a pretzel with my feet on his shoulders. I was sitting on his legs, almost as if I was in his lap. A cool cloth was on my forehead, and Dean was squeezing my feet.

"I'm sorry."

"It's like a hangover except I didn't get to have the fun of drinking." I groaned. I closed my eyes to keep the room from spinning.

I was seven weeks along. Sam, John, and Bobby went on a quick hunt a few days ago. Dean begged me to stay home. I agreed if he would stay home with me.

We were bored out of our minds.

"It'll be a long nine months if we never go on hunts." I commented cooly.

"Guess it will be." He shrugged. "It's kind of nice. I've never taken a bath before."

I sat up a little straighter. "Never?"

"Nope, just showers. But it’s got a naked, soapy woman, its warm, and smells good. I don't really see a downside."

I laughed and shook my head. "Just wait, we are doing facials next."

"Sounds good." He said, squeezing the ball of my foot.

"Who are you?"

He rolled his eyes. "What? I can't enjoy the finer things in life?"

I leaned forward, into his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. "You can." I said, rubbing the bubbles on his chest, covering his tattoo.

"This is going to be one hell of a vacation."

"Vacation? So we will go back to work eventually?" I asked, hopeful.

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"Maybe we should find a place, ya know, one that we can stay in with the baby. There isn't exactly room for a nursery here, or in the Impala."

He cleared his throat. "Could be a good idea." He seemed so cagey about the future, like it would never come.

Looking at him, though, relaxed, and happy, I couldn't almost imagine it. I could almost want it. "Where would you live if you could live anywhere?"

"Somewhere with a view." He said like he had thought about it before. "Maybe by a lake. Somewhere quiet."

"That sounds nice." I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"What about you?"

"I want to be wherever you are." I bit my lip. "Christ I sound like such a girl." I frowned.

He laughed. "You do."

I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to his. "I'm scared this won't last." I admitted. "I know we aren't talking about it, but we can't live in this tub forever."

"We won't live in a tub." He said kissing me. "Don't worry about the future, Ave. It's going to happen whether you know what's going to happen or not."

Sam

"I'm not going to ask you again." I said, dumping holy water on the demon. "How do we get Dean out of his contract."

The demon laughed, spitting in my face. "I've heard about the deal. You can't l break it. No one can."

My fist collided with its chin. I was angry. Enraged. I could feel the anger bubbling up in my stomach, crawling up my skin. I was vibrating with it. I could see the ultra sound in my head. Dean was going to be a Dad, and he would never meet his baby. It was cruel.

"Get rid of it." I said, looking at Dad. "It's not going to help us."

I pushed out the door of the motel room to get some air. I dialed Deans number.

"How's the case?" He asked.

"Going good." I grunted. "How are you?"

"Peachy."

"Have you told her?"

"Really? That's why you called?"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "No. Just checking in."

"Well, don't bother. Things are fine. She's safe. That's all that matters."

"Right." _Because your life means nothing. God you're so fucking infuriating._

"Anything else?"

"Nah, man. That's it. Tell Ava hi." I shut my phone and slid it into my pocket.

"It's done." Dad said walking out of the motel. "We need to take care of the body."

"He didn't make it?"

Dad shook his head. "Meat suit was already dead. There wasn't anything we could do."

"Great." I sighed. _We need a win._

"What're you idgits done?" Bobby asked, adjusting his hat.

"No, Bobby." I said, raising my voice. "And we won't be done until Dean is safe."

"I love that boy like he's my own son, but I'll be damned if any more pain comes to my niece or her child. Dean won't forgive you if something happens to her, either."

He was right, but I couldn't accept that. I wouldn't live in a world without my brother. "I love Ava, too. The baby is my family. I wouldn't let anything happen to them." I tossed the keys to my dad. "Let's go home."

" _Boys get in the damn car." Dad said, grabbing his bag. "We have a case."_

" _No." I said, crossing my arms. I was twelve, and Dean was sixteen._

" _No?" Dad asked._

" _Come on, Sammy." Dean said quietly._

He was always doing that. Dad was so intense, serious. I was defiant. I wanted more. The older I got, but there was still Dean. He kept me in line. He was my mother and my father my whole life. My best friend.

" _Why should we? I'm doing good in school. I don't want to go. My friend said I can stay with them..."_

" _No! Sam, I said no. We stick together. That's what family does."_

" _Family?!" I shouted. "Maybe I don't want to be a part of this family anymore!"_

" _Sammy, you don't mean that."_

" _Maybe I do, Dean!"_

_He reached out to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Come on. You're my brother. Do it for me."_

_I looked into my brothers eyes. He knew Dad would leave me there if I held my ground. Dean didn't want to lose me. I didn't want to lose him. "One more case, but I'm coming. I'm old enough. I won't stay in these motels anymore."_

_Dean looked to Dad. "That sounds fair, right?"_

" _Just get in the car."_

Time heals all wounds. I never really believed that. There were some wounds that couldn't be healed. No matter how much time passed, I would never get over losing my brother, and I knew his child would never get over growing up without him.

We had five months and three weeks. It didn't feel like enough time. Maybe no amount of time would feel like enough.

Dean

We were at a nail salon. That was the one place I never thought I'd be in, but according to google women like pedicures. Ava sat next to me in a massage chair, with her feet in warm bubbling water.

"Is it too hot?" The women crouched next to my own chair asked me.

"Nah, it's nice." I said, wiggling my toes in the water.

"I knew you'd enjoy it." Ava said with a grin.

"Shut up."

She smiled and closed her eyes. She looked relaxed. She looked so beautiful.

Her hair was flowing down her body. Her tank top hugged her curves. I noticed her breasts were getting fuller and her hips were more prominent. She was stunning. All I wanted was to drink her in.

"What did Sam want earlier?" She asked me.

The nail tech pulled one of my feet out of the water and started rubbing something on it. My leg jerked at a tickle. "Sorry." I grunted. I looked to Ava. "Just checking in."

"You two are bad at vacations, aren't you? You can't stay off the job for a single day."

"It's not like that." I shook my head. "I'm enjoying this break." I said forcing a big smile.

"Yeah." She raised an eyebrow. "You really look it."

She reached over and clicked a button on my chair, activating the massage function. It was weirdly nice. Another nail tech gave me a mimosa.

"You look like you need it." Ava said with a wink.

"I'm fine. You're the one growing a human."

"And you're going to be a Dad. You haven't really mentioned how you're handling it all."

"I'm great." I leaned back, taking a sip of the mimosa. It wasn't strong enough, but it was tasty. "I really am."

I opened my eyes and glanced at her. Her hand was on her stomach and her eyes were closed. She looked at peace.

————————-

Ava was asleep in our room when Sam, Dad, and Bobby walked in the front door. It was well after midnight. I had a glass of whiskey in my hand. Beer wouldn't be enough, not anymore.

"Hey." I said, putting my finger to my lips to let them know Ava was sleeping.

"Hey." Sam said, putting his bag down.

"I'm beat." Bobby said, stretching. "I'm headed to bed."

"Me, too." Dad grunted, eyeing us.

The creak of the stairs subsided as they made it up to their rooms. Sam sat across from me. "So what'd you do today?"

"Pedicures." I laughed, and took a drink of the whiskey.

Sam raised an eyebrow, grabbing the bottle and pouring himself a glass. "Really? You?"

"Yup. Took a bubble bath, and did a face mask, too. I'm a kept man."

"You really care about her."

I looked up from my glass. "I do."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to go." I shrugged. "I'm actually happy for the first time in my life. You know those moments that you think you're happy? Strippers, booze, killing monsters? It's nothing compared to this. Just wish it wasn't all so short lived." I finished my glass. "Guess that's life, though."

"That's depressing."

I gave him a sideways smile. "Ain't it, though?"

"So what're you going to do?"

I shrugged. "Hell if I know. Whatever she wants, probably."

"Trying to combat how pissed she's gonna be when she finds out?"

I poured myself another glass. "I just want her to be happy for as long as she can. It's the least I can do, since I knocked her up and am leaving her. Real stand up guy." I sighed. "I don't deserve her, so maybe it's the universes way of keeping it all balanced."

"You're good, Dean. You're the best man I know." Sam said with a frown.

"The sad thing is, Sammy, that's probably true." I laughed and took a swig. "And fuck if that isn't depressing."

"You're not as bad as you think."

"Neither was Dad and you see how fucked up we turned out."

Sam looked at me sadly.

"Man, turn that frown upside down." I shook my head. "No sense in dwelling."

"Dwelling in what?" Ava asked, entering the kitchen. She was rubbing her eyes. She wore one of my T-shirt's and a pair of flannel shorts. She looked adorable.

"Sam asked out a girl and she said no."

"Dude!"

Ava smiled and walked up to Sam, giving him a hug. "It's okay, Sam. She doesn't deserve you."

Sam glared at me and hugged Ava back. "Thanks."

"Mhm." She placed a kiss on top of Sams head.

"You okay?" I asked her. "Feeling sick?"

"Actually feeling cravey." She said moving to the fridge. "Score." She said pulling out the jar of pickles.

"Those May have been there since 1999."

"It's fine." She said opening the jar. She stuck a pickle spear in her mouth and a look of bliss flooded her face. "Yum."

"So peanut likes pickles. Hm." I commented.

"Evidentially so."

"Peanut?" Sam asked.

"You know, because in the ultrasound the little one looks like a peanut." Ava said, walking to me and plopping into my lap.

I took a sip of my whiskey, and Ava wrinkled her nose. "Doesn't seem fair that you can drink, and I can't."

I looked up at her, alarmed. "You can't ban me from drinking."

Her bottom lip poked out. "I can't, but I want to. It's making me nauseas smelling it."

I sighed and finished the drink. "Fine."

Sam made a whipping sound with his mouth and raised his eyebrows.

"Fuck off."

Ava winked at Sam, and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever." I grumbled.

It would be a long six months, but still not long enough. It would never be long enough.


	24. Wedding

_9 Weeks Along_

Ava

I was laying on my bed at Bobby's staring at the ceiling. My hands were flat on my stomach. I was bored out of my mind.

"Hey, have a good nap?" Dean asked as he walked into the room.

"I have to get out of here, Dean."

"What's wrong?"

I rolled over onto my stomach. "I'm getting cabin fever. It's been three weeks. I can't do it anymore. Let's go on a case."

"Nope. No way. We aren't hunting."

"I know you miss it." I said, narrowing my eyes. "Your fingers pull imaginary triggers in your sleep."

"Muscle memory." He said with a shrug.

"Fine. No hunts." I frowned. "Then this is my other option." I said, tossing him a card I received in the mail.

He unwrapped the letter and held the card. "What the hell is this?"

"A wedding invite. One of my old high school friends. Want to be my date?" He wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead. "That's what I thought." I said, standing up. "You'd rather face a ghost than a wedding." I was counting on that.

"Nope." He said looking up from the invite. "I want to take you to the wedding. Sounds swell."

I crossed my arms. "Seriously?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Seriously, what?" Sam asked popping his head in.

"Taking Ava to a wedding."

"Wanna come?" I asked Sam. "I'd love to show off my two boyfriends to all the high school girls who said I was weird."

"Tempting." Sam said with a grin.

"Come on, please."

"What the lady wants the lady gets." Dean said with a grin.

"Let me get my suit." Sam said with a shrug.

I grinned widely. Maybe it was the baby growing inside of me that was making the boys bend backwards, or maybe it was something else. Either way it was a chance to get me the hell out of the house.

I packed the few dresses that I had and we packed up the car to head to Seattle. "Where are you kids headed?" Bobby asked, as he watched Dean pack the car.

"To a wedding." I said, tying my hair up.

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is there a case?"

"Nope. Just a plain old wedding."

"Hm." Bobby eyed Dean and then shrugged. "Well have fun." He pulled me into a hug. "Have a nice time."

"We will." I said hugging him back. For the last three weeks everyone seemed to be walking on egg shells. I slid into the passenger seat. Maybe they were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hunters didn't find love or have babies. Maybe it was too good to be true. I looked down and rested my hand on my stomach. It still didn't feel real. I glanced at Dean. None of it did.

I settled in, and prepared for the long drive.

"Hey." Dean said, reaching for my hand.

"Hey back."

"What're you thinking about?" His eyes traveled from my face to my hand on my stomach. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah." I smiled, taking his hand and resting it on my stomach. "Still just feels too good to be true."

"I get what you mean." He said, almost sadly. "But it is true."

Sam slid into the back seat. "So a wedding. That's new for us." He shut the door.

"Should be fun. Heard it's an open bar." I offered.

"Sounds good to me." Dean said, moving his hand so he could put his car in gear.

After two twenty hour days driving and one crappy roadside motel we pulled up to Seattle. It felt weird to be so close to home. We arrived at the hotel that was provided for the guests of the wedding. It was grand, and definitely not the kind of place we typically stay. We got rooms side by side. Dean thought this would be a good excuse for a romantic get away.

I wanted to ask him what the last three weeks had been, but I refrained. We checked in and walked up to our room. It was lavish. The sheets were satin and there were mints on the pillows.

I fell back on the bed with a groan. "Ugh it feels so good to lay down."

He stretched and lowered himself beside me. "It feels good to be out of the car."

"You love the car."

"I do." He smiled and leaned in to kiss me. "But I do like this too."

_Like it._

I sighed. I didn't know what I expected.

"You okay?" He asked, stroking my hair.

"Just tired, I think."

"Excited for tonight?"

"Mhm." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to just stay in bed with him all day. "I should probably get ready." I said, touching his cheek. He was a beautiful man.

Dean

She wanted time alone to get ready, so I went next door to Sams room to get into my tux.

"You know there was a time when we wouldn't be caught dead in one of these." Sam said, buttoning his shirt.

"Things sure do change." I agreed.

"Am I not crashing your date? Why did you let her bring me along?"

I shrugged. "She's not the only one I want to spend time with in the next few months."

Sam looked at me sadly before turning back to the mirror. He fiddled with his bow tie.

"Here." I said, standing and walking to him. I adjusted the bow tie on his neck. "You've gotta learn how to do this, Sammy."

"Yeah I know."

I slid into my jacket and worked on my own bow tie. "Maybe we can get a beer before this starts."

"Sure."

We put on our dress shoes, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I adjusted a stray hair. I barely recognized myself.

I texted Ava to meet us in the hotel bar and we lowered ourselves onto the stools. I flashed the bartender two fingers and he brought two beers.

I put the bottle to my lips and then looked at Sam. "You can't let her hunt. When I'm gone I mean."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You act like I can keep Ava from doing anything."

"Maybe you should stop, too."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I'm serious. You wanted it before. You and Ava can take care of the kid together."

"The kid?" Sam raised his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean." I sighed and took another swig from my bottle.

"Hey, boys."

I turned on my stool. My breath felt like it was pushed right out of my chest. She looked so beautiful. She wore a long black dress that was snug against her curves. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination, but her stomach looked a little swollen under the tight fabric. Her hair was straightened and she wore bright red lipstick.

I put my hand over my heart. "Wow."

"Wow yourself." Ava said walking up to me. She reached up and touched my cheek. She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. "You too, Sammy."

"God not you too." He laughed.

"My dates." Ava said with a smile. She was looking between us.

"Don't get used to this." I said eyeing her. "I don't like to share."

Ava put her hand on her stomach. "Well you may have to share me."

I ran my fingers through her hair. It took everything in me to put a smile on my face. I wouldn't have to share her. At least not in the way she was insinuating.

"Ready to go?" I asked, finishing off my beer.

"Yup." She said taking my arm.

Ava

We walked into the wedding venue that was across the street from the hotel. It was beautiful. There were white lights strung around the ceiling, and tulle bellowing across the ceiling. There were hundreds of blush, red, and white flowers. The floor was covered in petals.

I looked at the high vaulted ceilings and the aisle. Everything seems magical. It felt a little surreal.

We lowered ourselves into seats toward the back. I sat directly in between the boys. I felt better next to them. Sam was the only brother I've ever known. My best friend. Then there was Dean. He was so handsome, sexy. He made my heart race. He was funny, and romantic. The father of my child. He may be the love of my life.

As if he could read my thoughts he reached for my hand and laced his fingers in mine.

The music started and the bridal party made their way down the aisle. The bridesmaids walking side by side with the groomsmen. They all looked like they were out of a magazine. I caught Dean looking at me. I felt my cheeks heat up.

The bride made her way down the aisle toward her groom. When he saw her he was overcome with emotion. He clutched his chest and he teared up. She looked beautiful. Her dress was long and full. Her train followed her as she gripped the arm of her father.

I would never have that. Even if we were to get married, neither of my parents would be there. I didn't have friends to watch. It would end up being me, the Winchester's, Bobby, and my love child. I sucked in my breath. Thank god Dean would never want that.

They took hands and the ceremony seemed to go by in a blur. There were readings, and the pastor explained love to the group. Commitment.

They went into the vows. The bride looked at her soon-to-be husband. "I've dreamed about love my whole life, but I never could have dreamed you up. I'm not that creative. You're better than anything I could've ever wanted for myself."

Dean leaned over and pressed his lips to my ear. "Do you want this?"

"What do you mean?" I whispered back, keeping my eyed glued on the alter.

"The whole shebang. A wedding?"

I glanced at him and felt his forehead. "Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?"

"No." He frowned. "I just thought... ya know."

I turned to him. The crowd erupted in a cheer, standing on their feet as the couple kissed. Even Sam stood next to me.

Dean and I sat, and stared at each other. "No, I don't know. Are you seriously asking me?"

"If you want it, I'll do it."

"So romantic."

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What's wrong with you? You go to a wedding and suddenly you want to get married? Is it because I'm pregnant. Want to make an honest woman out of me?"

"I mean... kinda."

"Fuck you, Winchester." I stood up, flattening out my dress.

"Ava wait..." He called after me, and I flipped him the bird.

Sam

"What was that about?" I asked as Ava stormed out right before the bride and groom exited. I watched her finger fly in the air. "What'd you do?"

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think I asked her to marry me."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"I don't know, man. I was caught up in the moment. She looked so beautiful. Maybe it's the monkey suit. It's got me feeling weird."

"Maybe it's because you love her."

Dean made a face. "I don't really do the whole love thing."

"Maybe that's why she said no." I offered.

"Well she didn't say no, as much as fuck off."

"Sounds like a no to me."

"Whatever. I need a drink."

I watched Dean walk toward the reception, and I was left in the ceremony space alone. I looked around at the room. I got it. I understood why Dean would bring it up. His time was running out, and seeing her in this setting was enough to make him question his choices.

Part of me wanted to be there. To be the best man. Give the speech that's embarrassing. Get really drunk and dance with Ava. To be happy.

For now the best I could do is find her. I could help put the pieces back together.

"Ava." I called for her. I pushed out the doors and found her sitting on the steps on the side of the building. "Hey you."

"Hey." She sighed, looking up at me.

I lowered myself next to her. "What's going on?"

"Is Dean okay? He's been acting so weird."

"He has." I said.

"Is it because of the baby? Because I almost died?"

"I think all of it has him in a weird place."

"Be kind of proposed. I think he thinks he's doing the right thing."

I looked to her. She was clueless. So was he.

"But I don't want him to want that because it's the right thing. I want him to do it because it's the right thing for him."

"You don't think it's the right thing for him?"

"He's a hunter." She said slowly. "How often do they get married?"

"I don't see it often, but we have seen it."

"He's acting so different, Sam. It's like he's tense, but he's trying so hard to seem fine. Like maybe he wants to run, but is trying not to."

"He doesn't want to run. Trust me."

"Then why is he acting so weird?"

"You'd have to ask him that."

"He won't tell me." She said putting her face in her hands. "He can't want to marry me."

"Why not?"

She looked at me. "He won't even say he loves me."

"Have you told him how you feel?"

"I don't want to scare him."

"He doesn't spook so easily." I assured her. I searched her face. She looked troubled. He had to tell her. It was eating her up inside.

"I think it'd hurt too bad to tell him to just have him say that he likes me." She shook her head. "It all just feels so fragile."

"I get so tired of you two not talking to each other." I admitted with a slight annoyance. "Not everyone gets to be with the person they love." I stood up. "You two have to get over yourselves and just be together."

"Sam..."

I shook my head. "I need a drink." I headed to the reception to meet Dean. He had to tell her. I couldn't deal with it anymore. Time was too limited.

"Hey." Dean said, offering me a glass of whiskey. "What took you so long?"

"You have to tell her, Dean." I said, taking the shot. "She's freaking out."

He shook his head. "No, I can't."

"You have to. Man, you're running out of time. She deserves to know about the deal."

"What deal?" Ava said, standing behind us. "What the hell is going on?"


	25. A Prayer for the Dying

Ava

"What deal, Dean?"

I stared at the boys. They glanced between each other. Dean looked nervous. Sam looked apologetic.

"Um.. it's a deal with the bartender. I uh..." Dean mumbled.

I could see the look in his eyes when I woke up in the back of his car. All the blood. The tears on his cheek. Bobby and Sams shocked expression.

_A deal._

I felt sick. "Don't lie to me!" My voice cracked. We were at a crossroad. I didn't think about it before. I was so disoriented. "You didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

"Ava." He stood slowly, putting his hands up.

"The demon killed me, didn't it?" My hands shook. Tears fell out of my eyes. They were hot rolling down my cheeks.

"Ava just..." He reached for me, and I slapped his hand out of the way.

"You sold your soul? After everything we have been through with demons?"

"You're pregnant. And I... I can't live without you. You're family."

A sob escaped my lips, and I put my hand over my mouth to stifle it. "That's why you want to settle down? Because we only have ten years together?"

He sighed and a tear rolled down his cheek. "I didn't get ten years, Ave."

"What do you mean?" I stared at him blankly. That was the deal. That was always the deal.

"I got six months. I had six months. I have about five now."

"Attention! It is my pleasure to introduce Mr and Mrs Thompson!"

I couldn't breathe. I felt like the air in the ballroom was heavy. The walls were closing in. "I have to get out of here." I turned and ran into the crowd. I pushed out the door into the night air. I immediately doubled over and threw up into the bushes.

Five months.

I collapsed on my knees. I looked to the cloudy Seattle night sky. "Why?!" I shouted. I knew my makeup was all over my face, but I didn't care.

It was too much. I looked at my stomach. We would be alone. He would be gone.

I pressed my hand against my chest, trying to keep my heart from bursting.

"Ava!" Dean said, pushing through the doors.

He spotted me immediately and ran to me, dropping to his knees. "I'm so sorry."

I looked up at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He put his hands on my cheeks, and he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "I didn't want to break your heart. You deserved to be happy."

"So you were just going to marry me and then die?"

"I didn't really think it through." He ran his fingers through my hair.

I saw Sam come out of the doors, hovering at the entrance.

"How am I going to raise this baby alone?"

"You won't be." He promised. "Sam will help."

"Sam isn't you." I said, heartbroken.

He pulled me into his arms tighter. I wanted to scream at him, but every time I opened my mouth sobs just came out.

"I'm so mad at you." I told him, as I cried into his chest.

"I know." He rubbed my back. "I couldn't let you die. Couldn't let anything happen to you and Peanut."

I looked at my stomach. He was a good man. He was the best man I knew. I couldn't let him die either. There had to be a way out. Sam had to be looking already.

"The answer is no." I said, biting my lip.

"The answer to what?"

"I won't marry you, Dean. Not like this. Not because you're afraid or obligated." I shook my head. "I won't marry you just so you can leave me a widow."

"Okay." He whispered, resting his chin on my head. I could feel wetness in my hair.

I wrapped my arms around his thick form, and he met my hug. I could've stayed like that forever.

I looked up at Sam, and he looked like he was fighting back tears too. _Please have a plan. We can't lose him._

"I can't believe you lied to me." I said wiping my eyes.

"There was no good way to say it."

"Then you say it anyway." I said pulling away. "No more lies."

"Ava I..."

"No." I said shaking my head. "This is how it has to be. You too, Sam. Don't you ever lie to me again. I don't care how bad it is. You have to tell me."

"Deal." Dean said slowly.

"Okay. Good." I said standing slowly. "Now I need a minute."

Dean stood with me, supporting my arm. "I'll come with you."

"No. I need a minute alone."

He held onto my elbow and studied me. "Truth, are you good?"

"No. I'm not. Truth, are you?"

He shook his head. "No."

I touched his cheek, and he leaned into my hand. "We will be okay." I said, even though I just promised no lying. "I just need some time."

We didn't have any time.

"Yeah, okay." He said, and I lowered my hand.

I reached into his pocket and took the keys. "I'll keep her safe." I said, reaching up to kiss him. "I just need some air. I'll be back soon."

He nodded slowly. I turned away from the boys, trying to keep myself together until I was out of view.

I lowered myself into the Impala. I gripped the wheel and let out a painful cry. My body shook. I pressed my hand to my stomach. "Listen, Peanut, we will save Dad. We will, I promise. I won't let you grow up without him."

Dean

I fucked up. Epically. I turned to Sam. "Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, but you were thinking it."

A large raindrop fell and landed on my shoulder. I sighed. _Fucking Seattle._ "Let's go."

"Where?"

I shrugged. "Hell if I know." Knowing my luck Ava made off with my car and would never come back. I probably deserved it.

"Want to go play darts? I think we have had enough brooding for one afternoon."

I looked at my brother and nodded. "Sure."

We went to a bar that was within walking distance. We both shrugged off our tux coats and my bow tie was shoved in my pocket. I unbuttoned the top few buttons and rolled up my sleeves. I felt better already.

Sam brought us back a few beers and we settled in near the dart boards. "So, do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked as he tossed a dart, missing the center by a few inches.

"Not really." I said, standing. I tossed a dart hitting bullseye. "Ayy."

Sam smiled at me and rolled his eyes. "Things are different now. Different with Ava."

"Thought we weren't getting sentimental?" I frowned sitting.

"I'm not." He shrugged. "It's just a fact. If it were a year ago you'd be trying to get with a girl in the bar instead of hanging out with me."

"Aw, Sammy." I patted his shoulder. "You should just be less boring, then."

"What can I say? I'm a work in progress."

I laughed and took a drink. "Your turn."

He stood and grabbed a dart.

Sam was right. This year had changed me. I would've never gone to a wedding. I wouldn't have even considered marriage. Hell, I'd never even had a girlfriend. I stood to take my turn.

Maybe I could convince them to stop hunting. Maybe my opinions didn't matter anymore.

I tossed the dart and barely made it on the board. "Damn." I'm distracted.

"I'm kicking your ass." Sam said as he nailed a bullseye.

"Way to kick a guy when he's down, Sammy."

Sam shrugged. "I can't always go easy on you, Dean."

"Cold." I said dramatically.

I stood up and focused.

_Ava leaned against the bar holding a beer. "You got this."_

" _Put those away. You're distracting me." I said, gesturing to her breasts._

" _Oh, what? these?" She pressed her arms against her breasts, pushing her cleavage together._

" _Oh god. That's unfair." I groaned. I tossed the dart, hitting the bullseye._

" _Damn, you're too good." She pouted._

" _No, Ave. You are." I said pulling her against me._

" _God, you two should get a room." Sam complained._

" _I intend to." I said low, looking down at her._

"Don't let her be lonely." I said, lowering the dart. "And teach my kid how to play darts. I don't want him to be an embarrassment."

"Him?"

"Ava thinks it's a boy."

"You too?"

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter."

"I will. I promise."

I looked back to my brother. "I'm putting a lot on you, and I'm sorry. It just has to be you."

"I know."

"Good." I turned and tossed the dart. Bullseye. Just wish it was worth more.

Ava

I was barefoot in the mud burying a box in the middle of two roads. Which way to go? I looked up to the sky. It was raining. My hair was soaked and my dress clung to me more than it did before. I stood up, wiping the mud on my dress. There was no point. Not anymore.

"Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae."

Lightening struck above my head, and then thunder rolling close. I closed my eyes and opened them again.

I said it right. I knew I did.

"Show yourself!"

I was only met with a roar of rain as it fell harder around me.

I raised my voice and repeated the chant. "Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae!"

"You all don't stop, do you?" A mans voice said from directly behind me.

"We won't ever stop."

"You are very pretty. I can see why it was worth his soul." The demon shrugged. "I suppose."

"We need to get Dean out of his deal."

"What part of, you try and you die do you not understand? Enjoy your months, sweetie. They're all you're going to get."

I looked at the demon through the rain. "There has to be a way."

"There isn't." He said walking towards me. "So let it go."

"No!" I said pulling a gun out of my dress. I pointed it at the demon, even though I knew it wouldn't help.

His mouth opened and smoke exploded out of it, shooting into the clouds.

I fell to my knees in the mud, in a puddle. The rain washed everything away. My tears were just more water on my face. It all meant nothing. I couldn't get him out of it. Not without killing our child too. He would never forgive me. I would never forgive me.

My hands were in the mud gripping for something, anything solid, but the only got more water. It was a flood. Maybe it would wash me away.

I stood up, slowly. I looked up at the darkened sky. It was threatening. It was angry. I was looking in a mirror.

I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I closed my eyes. "I don't know if you're out there. I don't know if you're real, or if you give a shit. Just... don't let this happen. God, please don't take him. He is the best man I know. He helps people. He's a hero... he..." I opened them again. "It's pointless, but fuck, if there's evil there has to be good. I know there is because as long as Dean is here there will always be good. Get him out of this, God. It's the least that he's earned."

I put my hand on my stomach and walked back to the Impala. I was covered in rain and mud. I reached into the trunk and got out an old blanket that I had stashed for the cold car rides. I laid it down in the front seat and got in.

I started the car, flipping on the windshield wipers. I half expected to see a demon when I turned on the lights, or maybe God. But it was so much worse than that.

All I saw was the night.

———————-

I walked in the bar, wet and covered in mud. "Dean." I said when I saw him.

"Ava." He stood up, and I ran to him, jumping into his arms.

He caught me, and I pressed my lips to his. He held me close and relaxed into my mouth.

"Hey." He whispered against my mouth. "You good?"

I opened my eyes and met his green, glowing concern. "Let's not talk." I whispered.

He nodded. "Okay." He kissed me again, scooping me up bridal style. He pushed out into the night to take me to bed, to the place where time always seemed to stop for us.


	26. The Letter

Ava

We were kissing the moment we entered the hotel. Urgently. There was a need in each movement. I wanted to be closer to him. We pushed into the hotel room and he sat me down.

I stood in front of him as he moved to my back, running his hands down my spine as he unzipped my dress.

It fell the floor leaving me standing in a strapless bra and panties. I was still covered in mud and rain water.

I stepped to him and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it off and tossing it to the ground. He reached down and pulled off his undershirt. I unclasped my bra. He stared at me with a smile as he cupped my breasts in his hands. They were sensitive. My body was changing from the person we created. I fumbled with his belt, and he wiggles out of his pants, and shoes.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I ran my fingers through his hair. He laid me on my back.

Things were changing between us. Now that we both knew we could really drown in each other. We needed each other more now than ever. We were limited. I always knew there was a chance that things would end but now that an expiration date was hovering everything felt so much more real.

I gripped his shoulders as we moved together. I buried my head in the curve of his neck and shoulder. I couldn't help it as tears fell from my eyes.

"Hey." He whispered, slowing down. "You good?"

I looked up to him. "Hormones, maybe."

He held my face with his free hand and propped himself up with his other. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Don't ever stop." I said pulling his face back to mine.

I rolled us over and sat up. I put my hands on his chest. I tried to memorize his face, the way his neck met his shoulder, and chest. My fingers traced his tattoo, his muscles. I looked up and met his eyes.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"I want to remember this."

I leaned down to kiss him. He tasted like beer. He tasted like Dean. His lips were warm and soft. His cheeks were rough from his hair growing in. I felt the callouses on his hands as they trailed over my skin.

I wanted to remember it all. I didn't want to forget a moment of him. The perfect man for me. He ran his hands down my back. The first man I let in after my assault. The only man.

He sat up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We moved together, his hands in my hair. Our chests were pressed together. We climaxed together, and I pressed my forehead to his.

"Dean..." I whispered.

"Me too." He said meeting my eyes.

I sucked in my breath, and bit the inside of my cheek to keep my emotions at bay.

"You're covered in mud." He whispered with a smile. "I think I can fix that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm."

We made love again in the shower. He wrapped me in a towel and threw the top comforter off of the bed since it was covered in dirt and rain water. He took out the spare blanket and laid it down, tucking my naked body into it. He slid in next to me, pulling me into his arms.

"Why did you do it?" I asked him in the darkness, my lips on his chest. "Why'd you really do it? Was it the obligation?"

"Truth? No."

I drew designs on his skin with my finger. "Then what?"

"You're family, Ava."

"Family, right."

Dean

" _Hey Ave I'm home!"_

" _Shh! Dean!" She said rushing out of the nursery. "She's sleeping!"_

" _What?"_

" _Shh." She said walking to me, silencing me with a kiss. "If you wake her you're dealing with the fit."_

_I pressed my lips together and wrapped my arms around her. "Sorry."_

" _It's okay." She sighed against me. "She just was so tired, but yet she won't sleep."_

" _Babies, man."_

" _Agreed."_

_As if on cue a tiny cry cake from the back room. Ava groaned and put her weight on me._

" _Hey, don't worry. I've got her." I said, kissing her forehead. She smiled up at me, and I moved past her to the nursery._

_I opened the door to an almost empty room with a crib. A wiggly pile of pink sat in the middle. A baby girl with Ava's blue eyes and black curls looked up at me. She opened her mouth in a toothless smile. "Hey little one." I said, my heart swelling. "It's okay. I'm here. Uh... Dads here." It felt weird on my lips._

_I reached down to pick her up, my hand on the back of her neck to support her head. I pulled her up into my arms, and bounced her slightly to keep her calm. My arms felt lighter and I looked down. There were just blankets where she used to be._

I reached out for Ava in my sleep and found emptiness. I sat up with a start. It was a dream. _Right, idiot. You'll never hold your baby._ It was still nice. I exhaled slowly to try to slow my rapid heart rate. I squinted to the table in the corner.

Ava had a small lamp on. She was wearing one of my flannels and she bent over notebook, scribbling away.

"Hey."

"Hey back."

I rubbed my eyes. "What're you up to over there?"

"It's silly." She sighed, looking down at the page.

"I doubt that." I sat up, sliding into my boxers and I sauntered over to her. I put my hands on her shoulders.

"Ever since I found out I was pregnant I've been journaling. Life is just... fragile. If something happens to me..." Her voice trailed off, and she avoided my eyes. Something already happened. "It's something I wish I had from my parents. Their own words."

"Can I?" I asked, eyeing the page.

She hesitated, chewing on her lip. "You can't laugh."

"I promise I won't."

She handed me the notebook slowly. I stared at her curled letters on the page, as I lowered myself onto the edge of the bed to read what she'd written.

_Dear baby,_

_Your dad asked me to marry him today. He's an idiot. He made a choice for us without consulting me, but don't worry we aren't fighting about it. I know he did it for the greater good. He saved us, you and me. He traded his life for ours, and I will make sure throughout your life that it wasn't made in vain. We will make him proud._

_I've talked about him a bit to you, but let me tell you in a little more detail, since you won't get to meet him._

_He is strong. You can tell physically by looking at him, but it is so much more than brawns. I've seen him make hard choices, impossible ones. When he isn't looking at me it's like he's seeing into his past, but he doesn't let it break him._

_He is funny. He has these annoying one liners. Sometimes they're a little hit or miss, but the thing is that your Dad is funny. Even when his jokes aren't, he gets this proud look on his face. He laughs at himself, and that's a skill everyone needs to survive in this world._

_He loves his damn car. I promise that I will keep it around so when you learn to drive you can learn on that same 67 Chevy Impala, just like he would want. It was your Grandpas and then it was your Dads. He loves that car._

_He has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever seen. I can see it when he looks at me. He would die for us, and for Uncle Sam. He puts himself on the line every day to protect the innocent. He is a hero._

_So, maybe you're wondering why I didn't marry him. Why I said no. Why I said he's an idiot._

_Well, he is._

_He thinks a ring can erase what's to come. I wish I could protect you from the darkness, baby, but you are a Winchester. So I have a feeling darkness will always come for us. There is some coming already. By the time you read this that will be passed. You will be big, and strong just like your Dad._

_A ring is just a circle. A wedding is just a party. It doesn't define anything. It doesn't put a price on how much I love him. It doesn't make any of this any easier. It won't bring him back to us._

I didn't realize I was crying until I saw a drop fall onto the page, smearing her ink on the word define. She was right. It didn't define anything.

_I always want you to know, that even if we can't see him, your Dad is always with us. I carry him with me, in my heart, where I will also carry you. I want you to know that I love him. I always have, and I always will._

I sat down the notebook, and slowly stood. She sat curled in the chair with her knees to her chest. She was draped in my flannel, looking small, and unbelievably beautiful. "You should know," I said slowly. "That the day I met you I thought you were annoying, and stupid hot. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Then you got hurt. I thought if I was an ass it would make you stay away. It would keep you safe, because you're right. Darkness will always find a Winchester." I shook my head blinking away the wetness from my eyes. "I am an idiot, though, because that would've never worked. Darkness finds Winchester's, or we find it. You were never safe from that, because the moment I met you you became a part of me. I knew it the second you ordered two beers." I laughed quietly to myself. "I knew I'd love you."

I was inches from her now, and I lowered myself down so I was eye to eye with her. "But you're also wrong, Ave. A wedding won't bring me back. It won't give us more time, but it will still give us something we didn't have before." I sighed, and met her eyes. She was going to say no again. "Maybe it's stupid, since we don't have a lot of time. Maybe I'm selfish, but fuck, I want you. I want all of you. I've never had anything like you and this baby before, and I was dreaming a few minutes ago. I saw you and a baby girl. We were a family. I didn't realize how much I wanted all of this until it was here. Until I could taste it. So yeah, maybe it's pointless, but I'd like to have whatever pieces I can, because I love you and I'm not ready to let this go."

Ava lowered herself to the ground in front of me. She put both hands on my cheeks. "You said you love me."

I smiled a little. "Is that all you heard?"

"It's all I needed to hear." She leaned forward and kissed me. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll marry you, idiot."

"You know this will make you Mrs Idiot." I grinned widely.

_She said yes!_

"Clever." She smiled widely, meeting my look.

"You're really gonna call me an idiot in front of the kid?"

Ava shrugged. "Stop being an idiot and maybe I won't have to write about it."

"You love it." I said kissing her.

"And you love me." She murmured against my lips.

"I do."

I said it. It left my lips, and I felt like a weight had been lifted. Those words always felt like a kiss of death, but seeing Ava writing it to the child I will never meet felt way worse. How would she feel growing up knowing that I never said it? Because I was afraid? It felt stupid. It felt like the most selfish thing I could do.


	27. Beautiful

Dean

"Hey, Dad. Sorry to bother you I just..." I sighed. I leaned against the Impala outside the hotel. I told Ava I was going out to get breakfast, which was mostly true. I just had a stop to make on the way. "I wanted to know if it was okay if I give Ava mom's ring."

"Her wedding ring?"

"I know it's a lot to ask."

"No. It's not a lot. You should give it to her. Your mom would've loved her."

"I love her, Dad." I said, still getting used to the words on my lips. They felt weird, almost foreign, but still right. "She's already agreed to marry me I just want to give her the real thing. Ya know?"

I could hear him chuckle on the phone. "She's changed you, Son."

"Yeah, she has."

"Let me know when the wedding is. I'll make it."

I shook my head. He was doing his best. "Dad? Watch out for her. Some day they may need protection. Sam will be there but I... I can't. So I just need to know she will be okay."

"Son, I lost the love of my life. I don't think anyone can be okay after that. They may not be okay, but they'll be alive. I can promise you that."

We hung up and I dug around the trunk for the small safe we had hidden in the center of the spare tire. "Bingo." I turned the code and unlocked the safe. I pulled a small wooden ring box out of it and clicked it open. There was a small pear shaped diamond tucked in a gold band. I smiled and closed it. I slid the box into my pocket.

————————-

"Sammy!" I pounded on his door. "I brought doughnuts." I said, holding up the box to the peephole.

"Dean, you really shouldn't eat that stuff." He said opening the door.

"Whatever, I got you one with no icing."I pushed past him into the room and sat on his bed. I opened the doughnut box and pulled out one with sprinkles.

"So what happened last night?" He asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"A lot." I admitted with a grin.

"Uh... I'm happy for you?"

"You should be." I said with a smile. "Hey, What are you doing next week?"

"I don't know." He said raising an eyebrow. "We never really know. What's going on?"

"Well, Ava agreed to marry me so I was thinking we could have a little wedding." I said, casually taking a bite of my doughnut.

Sams eyes widened. "Shut up. Seriously?" A huge smile grew on his face as I nodded to him.

"Yup. I'm gonna give this to her." I said taking out the box from my pocket. "Dad gave me the okay."

"Really?"

"Mhm. He said mom would've liked her."

Sam smiled. "She would've loved her. We all do."

"I love her too."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Nice to hear you say it."

"It's nice to say it." I said with a smile. "Can you... we want you to perform the ceremony. I said I wanted you to be the best man, but Ava insisted that you should be the maid of honor instead. You're too popular, man."

Sam smiled and walked to me. "Stand up."

"Dude, no chick flick moments." I said standing.

"Shut up, jerk."

"Bitch." I said, as my brother pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm happy for you. Of course I'll perform the ceremony."

"Great." I said as we pulled apart.

"Dean Winchester is getting married." He grinned.

"Yeah." I said running my fingers through my hair. "Now maybe you'll finally have a chance with the ladies." I grinned.

_11 Weeks Along_

Ava

"I want to surprise him with something nice." I explained to Sam as we walked down the road. We decided to have the wedding as soon as possible so I wouldn't be huge and pregnant in all of the pictures.

"He will like whatever you pick out."

I glanced at him. "You realize we are going to actually be related now."

Sam grinned. "Then you really can't get away from me."

"Maybe I should cancel the wedding then." I said bumping him with my hip.

He put an arm around me, and we walked in silence for a moment.

We were back in the first town we worked the case in together after we got on the road. Where we had our first kiss. We thought it'd be the perfect place.

Dean was getting antsy on the road when his Dad and Bobby came across a werewolf case.

" _You want to work it." I said as he braided my hair._

" _Nope. I want to be here with you."_

_I turned to him. He was lying. "Truth?"_

" _Fine. Truth, yeah sure I want to work it. It's been awhile."_

_I rested my hands on his knees. "Dean, go. It looks like a milk run." I kissed his knee. "It'll give me and Sam a chance to get me a wedding dress." I wiggled my eyebrows at him._

" _Are you sure?"_

_I nodded and he leaned down to kiss me. "I'm positive. Just come home safe."_

" _You got it."_

I walked into an antique store that had a really sweet leather jacket in the window. We walked up to the counter, and I looked at the rings in the case. _Come on, I need something good._

"What about this?" Sam asked, pointing at a wedding band.

"Can I see?" I asked the clerk.

He nodded and pulled out the ring. He handed it to me and I examined it.

It was old silver, darker and etched with a subtle design. "What does this mean?"

Sam leaned over. "It looks Celtic." I handed him the ring and he smiled. "They're symbols for protection and love."

"A spell?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly. Maybe for luck."

I smiled as Sam placed it in my palm. "I'll take it, and the jacket from the window."

———————-

I'd tried on five dresses and they all felt wrong. They were expensive and I felt gross in all of them. Sam was doing his best to be the supportive girlfriend. He was sipping his champagne and cheering every time I walked out.

I walked out of the dressing room feeling frumpy in a ballgown and he cheered. "You look great!"

I sighed, staring at myself in the mirror. I was a ball of tulle. I looked awful.

"What I would give to have a glass of that." I said, plopping down next to him. "This just isn't me." I said, patting down the tulle so it wouldn't swallow me whole.

"You've hated all of them." He commented. "Is there something else going on?"

I sighed and wiped my eyes. _Fucking hormones._ "This just isn't how its supposed to go." I closed my eyes, trying to get my composure.

"Cold feet?"

I opened my eyes and met his green ones. I wondered if my child would have the classic Winchester green eyes like the boys did. "No! Not about Dean. He's perfect."

Sam laughed, snorting through his nose.

"I mean, perfect for me." I rolled my eyes.

"He is." Sam agreed.

"It's just... it's going to be small. I'm pregnant and he's... he's going to die, Sam. In under five months we will lose him. He isn't even trying to fight it."

Sam took my hands in his. "I'm not going to let him die. I'm going to find who has his contact, and I'm going to ice them. Don't worry, Ava. I have a plan. We just can't let Dean know. There's no way he will be on board."

I studied his face. He was determined, and I knew if there was a way, Sam would find it. I rested my hand on my stomach and met his eyes. "So I guess I'm going to start off my marriage with a lie. Great." I forced a smile. "I'm in."

"Good. Now let me see if I can find you something better than what that consultant was bringing." He finished off his glass of champagne and winked. "Wait here."

Sam disappeared and came back with a dress flung over his arm. "Try this." He said, handing it to me. It was delicate lace, lightweight, and champagne. "If you hate it we can leave."

I met his eyes and nodded. "Okay."

I got out of the poofy dress and slid into the dress that Sam chose. It was off the shoulders, exposing my collarbones. It was tight, but still flowed down effortlessly. The lace was large over champagne satin. I stepped out. "Can you zip me?"

"Ava." Sam breathed, his eyes widening.

"what?" I asked, meeting his gaze.

"You look so beautiful."

He wasn't cheering, or faking his best sex and the city girlfriend position. It was true and honest shock. "Really?"

He nodded walking to me. His hand ran up my back as he zipped it. "Dean is going to love it."

I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair fell down my shoulder. the dress was made for me. It hugged every curve, making me feel feminine and sexy. I looked delicate. Sam was right. "You should do this for a living." I said turning to him.

He wiped a tear off his cheek.

"Aw, Sam. What's wrong?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm just so happy for you guys. I love you, kid."

"Me, too." I said pulling him into a hug. "I love you too."

Sam

We rented a house for the week. We decided to splurge since it was wedding week, and Ava wanted us all to stay together. Bobby and Dad were coming home from the hunt with Dean at any time now. Ava's wedding dress was hanging in her room, and Dean wasn't allowed to stay with her until the wedding night, when the rest of us would get scarce.

I made Ava some peppermint tea because her morning sickness was especially bad today. They were getting married tomorrow.

I sat in the kitchen and sipped my beer. Dean was going to lose his mind when he saw her in that dress. I clicked my pen a few times trying to figure out what to say during the ceremony. I had gotten certified online an hour before.

"Damn." Im at a loss for words. What could I even say that was enough?

"Man, that was a great hunt." Dean said as he walked in through the door.

"Hey." I said, flipping over the notebook.

"Hey!" Dean plopped down across from me and stole my beer taking a swig. He looked good. Happy. "So is this my bachelor party?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"You want one?"

"You didn't plan one? Sammy come on!"

I looked at my brother and laughed. "Yeah, okay. Fuck it. Strip club?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Last time before you're tied down. Why not?"

"Hell yeah!" Dean said, downing the rest of my beer.

I grinned and rolled my eyes. "Get in the car, man."

"Let me get my ones!"

———————-

We sat at a table near the stage. A woman named Destiny was in her underwear prancing around the stage. "Man, we haven't done this in...have we ever done this?"

"No." I laughed, avoiding Destiny's gaze. "I think this is the first time."

Dean was on his fifth beer. "That's a damn shame."

"So how was the case? Any close calls?" I ordered us another round.

"Yeah, man. Nothing too dramatic, but it was a little touch and go there for awhile. It felt nice to work a case. It was a good distraction from everything." He winked at Destiny and put a dollar in her bra when she crawled past him.

"From everything?"

"It's been a little intense lately."

I laughed. "I'd say that's an understatement."

_She's my cherry pie! Cool drink of water such a sweet surprise. Tastes so good make a grown man cry..._

"Sweet cherry pie!" Dean sang along tapping his foot. He grinned at me. "How's it been on the home front?"

"Good." I nodded, setting a dollar down. "Got some good one on one time with Ava."

"What have you been up to?"

"Wedding dress shopping." I grinned. "You're gonna love it."

"I love everything about her."

"Made me cry." I shrugged.

"Everything makes you cry, Sammy." He said flippantly, even though there was more behind his eyes.

I shrugged. "You're right. Just trying to prepare you."

"I don't think anything can prepare me." He laughed dryly.

"For marriage?" I laughed. "Yeah probably not."

"I heard there was a bachelor in the house!" Destiny said into the microphone. She was wearing a tiny veil with bridal underwear. "Where is the poor guy?"

Deans eyes widened and he raised his hands. "Me!"

"Let's get you a special dance, sweetie."

He grinned at me. "This is so awesome." I watched Destiny pull him to the back room and I laughed, shaking my head.

My phone buzzed. _Is he having fun?_

_I think so._

Buzz. _Good. Just make sure he's sober for the wedding._

_Will do._

I hoped Dean knew how great she was. I think he knew. I settled back into my chair and ordered another beer. I pulled out my notebook and scribbled down some more ideas for the ceremony.

_My whole life it's just been my brother and I. We were fine with that. We didn't have anything or anyone else. We are Winchester's, we don't believe in love. We never have, but just because you don't believe in it doesn't mean it isn't real. It doesn't mean it isn't meant for you, and I can say with confidence that Ava is made for you. You were made for each other._


	28. I Can’t Promise Forever

Dean

I woke up with a groan. The night was a blur, at best, but I was in bed alone when I woke up. I stretched out yearning for Ava's healing touch when it occurred to me. _I'm getting married today. What the fuck? How did I trick her into that?_

I stood up with a slight stumble. My head was pounding. _Shit I need to get it together. Don't fuck this up, man._ I told myself as I walked slowly to the bathroom.

The door was closed, and I could hear the sound of vomiting. "Sam?"

"No." Ava groaned.

"Baby? Are you okay?" I tried the door knob, but it was locked.

"Just... morning sickness."

"Not cold feet?" I asked lowering myself to the floor. I leaned against the door, wishing I was next to her.

"Of course not, idiot." She vomited again.

"Let me in. I'll hold your hair."

"It's bad luck, Dean." She whispered.

I put my palm against the door, and I swore she did the same.

"Nothing with you could be bad." I whispered.

"How're you feeling?"

"Better now that I'm talking to you."

"Shut up." I could hear her laugh. "Seriously. Still want to do this?"

"More than anything."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Ave?"

The door cracked open a bit, and I just saw her hand slowly creep out. I took it in mine. "I love you." She whispered. 

This was what joy felt like. Happiness. I squeezed her hand, and pressed my forehead to the door. "I love you, too."

"See you at the altar."

"See you then."

She let go of my hand, and I watched it disappear back into the bathroom. It was the most sobering experience I've ever had. I wasn't ready to lose her. It didn't feel like enough time.

_You already did lose her._ I reminded myself, as I saw her dead body in my arms. _You're doing this for her._

I stood up and walked to the kitchen to get some coffee.

"Morning." Sam said with a raised eyebrow. He handed me a coffee.

"Eyy." I said with a nod, happily taking the coffee.

"Son." Dad said, stepping out of the back room. "Today's the day."

"Yup."

"Are you ready?" Sam asked.

"To have a wedding? Not sure. To be with Ava for the rest of my time? Definitely."

Sam grinned. "Let's do this, then."

Ava

I wished my Mom was with me. I missed her all the time, but especially now. Especially today. I looked at myself in the mirror and applied some blush to my cheeks. All the vomiting earlier made me flushed. I was still nauseas, but I didn't think it was from morning sickness. It was nerves.

I wasn't nervous for marrying Dean. I was more nervous about what it meant. To death to us part was only a few months away. It felt like we were playing pretend.

I looked down at my stomach, and I touched it. I wasn't showing yet. I had an appointment in a few weeks to check on things. To tell us the gender. I swallowed hard. I was worried that things weren't going to work out. It all seemed too good to be true. Well, at least for us.

I put my red lipstick on and braided the last piece of my hair. It was natural and down, but with a braided crown around my head.

"Hey." Sam said, knocking gently at the door.

I turned to look at him as he opened it. "Hey." I said quietly.

"Wow, you look amazing."

"Thank you."

"Are you okay?" He asked, slowly sitting down in front of me. He was wearing a suit, and his hair was brushed. He looked handsome.

I reached forward and touched his cheek. "I'm okay. Just nervous. Does he really want this, Sam?"

"He does." Sam grinned. "He's happy."

"That's all I want from him." I exhaled with a smile. He was happy. He deserved to be happy.

We deserved to be. I sucked in my breath.

"Hey." Sam said, pulling me into a hug. "It's okay."

I buried my face in Sams neck and tried to get it together. I didn't want to cry and ruin my makeup. "I just love him, Sam. I'm not ready to lose him."

"Neither am I." He said squeezing me. "Don't worry. We will figure it out." He rubbed my back. "Besides," he whispered. "It's your wedding day."

I pulled back and wiped my tears. "Did I fuck up my makeup?"

He wiped under my eyes. "Good as new."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think we can save him?"

"I have to. I have to believe it or I don't think I can make it." He squeezed my hand. "I better check on your groom."

"Hopefully he won't run." I laughed a bit, trying to get myself out of the hole I was digging.

"I wouldn't worry about that." Sam laughed. He reached forward and kissed my forehead. "He loves you. Nothing else matters. Not today."

Dean

"Is she okay?" I asked, anxiously wringing my hands as Sam walked back into my room.

"She's fine." Sam laughed shaking his head. "Now I know how Bobby feels."

"How I feel about what?" Bobby asked, popping his head in the door.

"They're all worried about each other."

"Yeah, you boys do that." Bobby laughed and tossed me a beer.

"Thanks." I said opening it and taking a swig.

"Sam, give us a minute?" Bobby asked eyeing me.

Sam shrugged. "I'll go check on Dad."

I swallowed another drink of my beer nervously.

"I know I don't need to say it." Bobby began, sitting across from me. "But I'm the only one here to say it." He met my eyes. "Don't you hurt her. I'm forever in your debt for what you've done for her, but I'll end ya if I find out you did something to ruin her honor."

I smiled and shook my head. "Bobby I could never do anything that would hurt her. Never. I will take care of her as long as I can."

Bobby reached forward and pulled me into a hug. "I know, Son. I just had to say it since her Dad isn't here to say it."

I put an arm around Bobby. "Thank you for everything."

"I am so proud of you."

"Alright." I said letting out a puff of air, shaking my head with a smile. "Let's get me married."

"One more thing." Dad said, stepping in with Sam. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." I said, rising to meet him.

We walked out of the house and along the side of the house. He took out a cigar and lit it, handing it to me. I took a few puffs and we leaned against the house. "I have something for you." He said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm." He reached into his pocket and took out a small wooden box.

He handed it to me, and I opened it slowly. Inside there were two cuff links that looked like small guns. "They were from my wedding with your mom." He said softly.

"Dad, this is too much."

He waved me off. "Let me show you how to do them." He said, taking my wrists. He clasped the pieces in place. "The day I married your mom was the happiest day of my life, apart from you and Sammy being born."

I'd seen the pictures. Dad grinning from ear to ear wearing a tux. He looked so different from the way he looked now. He was my age, strong and young. Now he was graying, and his face was wilting from the years of pain and killing monsters. Losing Mom took its toll on him. I wondered how Ava would look once she lost me.

"I need you to know," he began, meeting my eyes. "I need you to know that I tried to save you. I tried to sell my soul for yours. A trade."

I stood up straighter. "No. No way." I shook my head quickly. "The demon said if I tried to get out of it they'd ice Ava and the baby... I..."

"Son, they wouldn't do it. They wouldn't make a deal with me. Whoever has your contract scares them. Hell, I've never seen a demon afraid before."

My chest felt tight. It wasn't me not to fight. I wanted to with everything I had. I didn't make deals with demons. I didn't stand in cross roads and beg. I thought about Ava walking towards me in a white dress, carrying our child inside of her.

It is me now. I will back down to save her. I'm still fighting, but now I'm fighting for something that matters. That's honorable. For once I feel like I'm making the right choices. I'm being a good man.

"You and Sammy need to stop trying to save me. If there's a risk that it'll hurt Ava and my kid then I don't want it. End of discussion." I put out the cigar that had been burning away between my fingers, and I handed it back to Dad. "Thanks for the cuff links. It was a pretty normal father move. Shame you had to bring up the demons and fuck it all up."

Ava

"Ready, kid?" Bobby asked, popping his head in my room. I stood up slowly, and turned toward him. His hand was placed above his heart and he had tears brimming on his eyes. "You look just like your mom."

I sucked in my breath.

"I have something for you." He said digging in the pocket of his button up. He handed me an envelope. I raised an eyebrow at him and tore it open. Inside was a folded piece of stationary. Immediately I got a whiff of floral perfume and my heart sunk.

Moms perfume.

"Bobby, what is this?"

"Just open it, kid. I'll meet you out front when you're ready." He backed out of the room and clicked the door shut behind him.

I slowly lowered myself to the seat by the window and unfolded the page.

_Dear Ava,_

_Today is your wedding day. It is the day I've dreamed about since long before you were born. I'm sure you have a lot of questions for me, and baby girl all I want is to be there next to you. I know your Dad is taking care of you, though. You will always have him to watch over you._

_As I write this you are still a little girl, playing dress up and causing mischief wherever you go. You're so happy. That's all a mother wants for her child. I wish I could see the happiness you will feel today as you marry the love of your life._

_I hope that he is loving, with beautiful kind eyes. I hope that he will protect you, and that you will care for each other. Marriage is wonderful, but it isn't easy. Always remember to not go to bed angry, and to never take each other for granted. Life is so short, sweet Ava. Cherish every moment you have with the ones you love._

_I love you so much. I can't stand it. I hope one day you will have children so you can feel the joy that I feel when I look at you, but don't feel the need to rush. You have plenty of time._

_Have a beautiful wedding, sweetie. Know that no matter what I am always with you. You are a part of me, and I will always be a part of you._

_I love you._

_Love,_

_Mom_

I held the paper in my hands. The tears wouldn't come. I felt them bubbling up inside me, but I couldn't let them go. She knew that she would die. She knew she wouldn't be there. She sold her soul for me. Just like Dean. Now he won't be there for our baby.

I touched my stomach. Nothing could compare to the pain I felt. It touched my soul. My very being was tainted. I pinched the inside of my arm to bring me back to reality. Today was supposed to be happy. I could be happy for a little, right? I folded up the paper and tucked it into my top to keep her close to me.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I did look like her. We had the same eyes, mouth, face shape. I wore her black curls. I closed my eyes. One more second to be sad. That's all I would allow.

I stood up and flattened my dress. I opened the door and greeted Bobby. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. "She would've been so proud of you."

I squeezed him back. "I hope so."

"Love you, kid."

"You too, Uncle Bobby."

I took his arm and we walked out the front door together.

I would've never pegged Sam as a wedding planner, but fuck did he plan a beautiful ceremony. I kicked off my sandals when we got to the sand and Bobby's grip on me intensified. I looked towards the water to find Sam, John, and Dean standing in front of an altar covered in flowers. There were petals littering the sand.

My heart squeezed as I saw him, and everything else melted away.

Dean

I couldn't have pictured her any more beautiful than she was in that moment. She took my breath away. Her dress hugged her curves, and her hair fell down her shoulders in effortless curls. I felt my eyes give way to the emotion that was bubbling up inside of me.

She met my eyes and smiled. Her perfect red lips curling to expose a perfect line of white teeth. I could see the wrinkle on her nose from even this far away.

She was everything. The breeze caught her hair sending it dancing behind her in a veil of black. I hoped our child looked just like her. I just wished I could find out.

Bobby smiled at me and I nodded to him. If it weren't for him answering the phone our meeting would've been so different. I would've never talked to her for long. I wouldn't have fell in love with her.

She wouldn't have died.

I shook the thought away. She is alive. That's all that mattered.

She made it to me and Bobby handed her to me. I took her hands in mine and she squeezed them. All my worries disappeared when I felt her hand touch mine. That familiar electricity rolled through me, restarting my heart.

Sam smiled and us. "We are gathered here to celebrate the union of Ava and Dean."

I winked at Ava and watched pink heat up her cheek bones.

"My whole life it's just been my brother and I. We were fine with that. We didn't have anything or anyone else. We are Winchester's, we don't believe in love. We never have, but just because you don't believe in it doesn't mean it isn't real. It doesn't mean it isn't meant for you, and I can say with confidence that Ava is made for you. You were made for each other. In our lives that's more than we could've ever dreamed." He put his hand on my shoulder and I grinned at him. My baby brother. "We are here to celebrate two lives being joined together. Love is a light in the darkness, and our life is full of it. Ava, all I've wanted my whole life is to see my brother as happy as you make him. I'm so happy I get to have you as my sister. Would you like to say your vows?"

She nodded and squeezed my hands. "I didn't write anything down." She admitted. "I couldn't really form into words how I feel. I love you, Dean. More than anything. I never knew that I could love someone like I love you. Hell, I barely like people." She laughed, and I grinned back at her.

"I was alone before we met. I thought my life was enough, but you cracked me open and showed me another world. It scared me, but not because of the monsters. I was afraid of how you made me feel. I didn't know then, but I want to feel that way for my whole life." She touches her flat stomach. "I can make you three promises, in light of our lives and how they tend to go. I vow to love you as long as I live. I vow to take care of our child and love him or her with all that I have. Lastly I vow to never forget the sacrifice you've made for us." She was crying now and I touched her face, to wipe away the tears. "It won't be in vain. I promise that."

I closed my eyes and got my composure, because it was my turn to talk. "Ave. There's nothing I can say to you that will be enough. Nothing is enough." I swallowed trying to gather my thoughts. "I fucked up, baby. I did. The worst mistake I ever made was talking to you, because before I thought I was happy. Killing monsters, beer for breakfast, and the occasional strip club were enough. The moment that I met you, though, everything changed. I never wanted a life or a family, but when I met you I was finally showed what I could have. I saw that maybe this son of a bitch could be worth more. Maybe I could have a real life. I've gotten a little taste of it. All I want is to be with you. I don't have a lot of time left, so I can't make any promises. All I can tell you is that I will love you until I stop breathing. As long as I'm here, I'm yours, forever. End of story." I leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry I have to leave you. It's my one big regret. That I won't be able to watch our baby grow up." I sighed and pressed my lip to the place behind her ear. "I know it'll be okay, though, because you will be there. You're the best person I've ever met. I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam smiled at us. "Dean, do you take Ava to be your wife? For better, for worse, sickness, and health, until death do you part?"

I grinned at her. "Hell yeah."

"Ava? You can still run." Sam grinned at her.

"Nah. I think I'll take him. Better or worse, but I'll take him for longer than death. I've got him forever."

"Deal." I said to her under my breath.

"I now pronounce you, from the state of California, and the internet, as man and wife! You may kiss your bride"

I pulled her forward and grinned before dipping her. I could feel her weight in my hand, as I balanced her with my hand in between her shoulder blades. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I smiled against her mouth. _I have a wife. What the fuck?_

I pulled her back up and watched her grin as the color came back to her complexion from me whipping her around back up to me.

"I now pronounce Mr and Mrs Dean Winchester!" Sam said with a grin.

I looked at Ava. She was grinning from ear to ear. If I didn't already love her, the look in her eyes then would've done it.


	29. Home

_Eighteen weeks along_

Ava

Today was the day. "Good morning, Mrs Winchester." Dean said stretching out, and wrapping an arm around me. His hand landed on my rounded stomach. It had a defined curve now. We were finding out the gender of our baby.

"Are you going to say that every day?" I laughed.

"It never gets old." He grinned widely. He propped himself up on his elbows and leaned down to kiss my stomach. "Morning Peanut."

"Hm." I smiled. "Felt a little flutter."

"I love it." He grinned kissing my stomach again. "So you think it's a boy?"

"Mhm, and you're team girl?"

"Yup. Guess we are at an impasse."

The last six weeks had been blissful. My morning sickness had subsided, and I was gaining weight rapidly. Dean loved it. He was constantly grabbing my newly plump areas and rubbing coconut oil on my stretching skin.

He was back on cases, mostly anything local and not too dangerous. Every day we said goodbye like it was the last day.

When he was on cases, John and I interrogated Demons.

He didn't like me going, but I insisted. I would come in while the demon was trapped. I did the exorcisms. I inflicted the pain.

I needed a break. Anything that would tell me who held Deans contract. All the hunters we knew had feels out for anything that could help. I guess whoever the demon was hadn't heard we were sniffing around, considering I was still breathing.

All I could hope is that we would find a solution before Dean realized what we were doing. He would be pissed. He would be betrayed, but he will be alive.

We hadn't talked about what was coming _._ If we didn't talk about it we didn't have to face it. We weren't ready to face it.

"Well come on before we are late." He said with a groan. He sat up and stretched.

I never got tired of looking at him. His tanned, built chest and shoulders. He was really a beautiful man. "What?" He asked.

"Just like looking at you."

"Likewise." He said leaning in for a kiss.

We got dressed. All of my clothes were fitting significantly tighter now that my stomach was getting bigger. I slid into a tank top, a flannel, and a pair of pregnancy shorts. "I feel like a balloon." I complained as I pulled on the elastic in my shorts.

"You look beautiful." He said, patting my belly.

It was hard not to believe him when he looked at me with those green eyes.

Dean

I followed Ava into the kitchen when I spotted Sam, waiting by the door. "You two ready to go? I'm so excited to see the ultrasound."

Ava eyed him. "You're coming?"

"Dean, you said you asked her!" Sam exclaimed, alarmed.

"I thought Sammy would like to be there... I didn't think you'd care." I said, scratching the back of my head

She looked disappointed, as her blue eyes moved from mine to the floor. "I don't care. Of course Sam can come."

I thought about all the moments in our baby's life that should be just for Ava and I. All the ones I would miss. We can play pretend all we want, but this won't be my child. I played a small part. Sam will largely be the baby's father. The male role model. He would help make decisions in my place. It hurt. There was a stinging my chest that I tried my best to ignore.

It was only fair that he was there from the beginning.

"Awesome." I said with a large, fake grin. I put an arm around her. "Let's go see the Peanut."

Ava perked up a bit under my arm. Her eyes met mine. They were wrinkled along the edges as she smiled. "We can stop calling the baby Peanut after today. We can give it a real name."

"Peanut is a real name." I said with a shrug.

——————-

They did all the normal stuff: blood pressure, weight, blood test, _how are you feeling?_

They laid her down and she reached for my hand instinctively. I'm selfish, because I love when she reaches for me. She even does it in her sleep. I just wish I'd always be there when she reached out.

I took her hand in mine with a squeeze. Sam stood next to me. He looked a little uncomfortable as she was asked to lift her shirt. _Good._ I thought. _Don't get too comfy, Sammy._ I knew it was likely, that they would get together after I was gone. They'd bond over my death, and over raising Peanut together, but I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't. It made me want to punch something. I didn't want her to be alone, but fuck that was painful.

"The gel is going to be a little cold."

"That's okay." Ava said closing her eyes. I squeezed her hand again and leaned down to kiss her ear.

"You good?" I whispered.

She nodded, but still didn't look at me. She was afraid. This entire pregnancy she's been waiting for the other shoe to drop she just won't say it out loud.

"What do you see?" I asked the tech as we all turned to look at the screen.

"Ten toes, and ten fingers. Oh look! Your baby is sucking it's thumb!"

Ava perked up at this news.

Sure enough, there the little kid was. The contour of Peanuts head, with a thumb in between it's gums. My heart squeezed and I felt the weight of Ava's hand in mine. _This is our baby._ Peanut looked like a real baby, and not just a grainy blob. It was surreal.

"Dean." Sam grinned at me, slapping my shoulder.

"Did you two want to know the gender?"

I looked to Ava and leaned down to kiss her. "You ready?"

Ava kissed me back and we turned our view back to the screen. "We are ready." She said quietly.

"See this?" The tech said, creating an arrow to between its little legs.

"No." I admitted, squinting.

"Exactly." The tech grinned. "You're having a little girl. Congratulations."

A girl. We were having a girl. I would have a daughter, just like in my dream.

"Hey, man. You okay?" Sam asked, touching my shoulder.

The tech handed me a tissue.

I was crying, and I didn't even realize.

I looked down to Ava, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand. "We have a daughter."

"We are having a daughter." She smiled widely.

We wiped the goo of her stomach, and I pulled her into my arms. She eagerly hugged me back. "I can't believe it."

Ava

The boys took me out for lunch to celebrate our news. _A girl!_ I had wanted a boy, but the moment the ultrasound tech said the words, everything fell together. Of course she was a girl.

I took a bite of my burger and winked at Dean across the table.

"How about Samantha?" Sam grinned widely.

"Don't you think that'd be confusing?" I asked with a laugh. "No way. Veto."

"You're mean! I'm gonna be the first one to give her alcohol, then."

"We already made that deal." Dean laughed.

He looked happy.

"What about Lauren?" I asked, dipping a fry in ketchup.

"I slept with a girl named Lauren." Dean said shaking his head. "Hard pass."

"Well if you can't name your baby after people Deans slept with then what do you have left?" Sam teased.

"Edith?" I laughed, trying to think of any older woman's name.

Dean wiggles his eyebrows at me. "Edith's new hip needed a test drive. I was happy to oblige."

"Ew!" I threw a fry at him. "You're disgusting."

"Don't act surprised, babe. You knew what you signed up for."

I did. I glanced at the ring on my finger.

" _I want to give you this now, while it's just us." Dean said softly. We were on Bobby's back porch. The night air was cool. I was wearing one of his leather jackets._

" _Give me what?" I asked, half expecting a kiss._

_He slid the box to me, and I met his eyes in the darkness. "What is this?"_

" _Just open it."_

_I followed his instruction and popped the lid to the small ring box. "Oh my god."_

" _It was my moms."_

" _Are you sure I should have it?" I asked nervously, staring at the pear shaped diamond. The one thing I never thought I'd get from my flannel-wearing, hunter boyfriend._

" _There's never been anyone else. There would never be anyone else. Even if I had a lifetime, it'd still belong to you."_

_He had this way about him. A way that made it impossible not to believe him. His green eyes were serious, his bottom lip in a signature pout. "You should be a model." I said, touching his lip with my thumb._

" _Don't change the subject. Do you hate the ring?"_

" _I don't." I said exhaling. "It just seems like too much."_

" _It's not even enough."_

" _Dean..."_

" _Put it on." He said eagerly with a mischievous smile._

" _Yeah... Okay." I let him slide the ring on my finger. A perfect fit._

" _It looks beautiful on you." He reached up and kissed the stone on my finger._

_I felt a weight on my hand. I couldn't believe Dean Winchester had just slid a ring on my finger. He wanted to marry me. Soon he was going to._

_I put a hand on either side of his face and kissed him with everything I had. "Thank you."_

"Ava?" Dean asked, poking at my hand.

"What? Sorry." I said taking a bite of a cold fry. "Zoned out."

"You good?" He asked me, leaning into me.

"I'm great." I assured him, as my eyes locked on his own wedding ring.

I should be happy.

"Good." He whispered, pulling my mouth to his.

"What about Bobby, but ya know, with an I?" Sam asked playfully.

"Fuck off." Dean and I said together. My mood brightened a bit and I leaned into him as his free hand snaked around me.

"The Winchester's are getting a girl." Sam said shaking his head. "She's gonna be so cute holding her tiny bottle full of holy water."

"No holy water for the baby." I said pouting a finger at him. "She will not be a little flannel-clad hunter like her Uncle Sam."

"And her Dad." Dean added taking a swig of his beer.

"And her mom." I said slowly. I didn't realize my words could be hurtful until he was unable to hide his growing frown. "Just... ya know, it's not good for babies." I shrugged, trying to play it off.

"She seems down." Sam said casually. "Maybe we should show her."

"Show me what?"

Dean shook his head. "It's not ready, man. Plus I don't know if she deserves it." He glanced at me, teasing.

I pursed my lips. "What's going on?"

"Come 'ere." Dean sighed.

We drove for about 45 minutes in the car, we were a little out of Sioux Falls when we pulled down a long gravel driveway.

"Where are we?" I squinted out the window, trying to possibly identify our location.

We pulled up through a stream to an old log cabin. "Dean?" I pressed again.

He stopped the Impala and got out. I followed his lead.

We walked to the door of the cabin. "So, its still a work in progress." He said gently as he unlocked the door.

He flicked on the lights the show a small, but quaint cabin. There obviously had been some work done recently, as there was still some tools laying around. It looked like the original hardwood floors had been waxed, and refinished. The walls were freshly painted, old light fixtures replaced.

The furniture wasn't new, but it was nice. More stylish than something I would've expected. "Dean... What is this?"

"It's our home." He said softly.

Just as he said it I noticed a photo on the side table in the living room. It was one that John snapped at the wedding. I was staring at the camera, grinning, and Dean was staring at me. His gaze was full of love.

I turned to him, not knowing what to say. He made us a home.

"I wanted you to have somewhere that belonged to you." He ran his fingers along the back of the couch nervously. "It isn't too far from Bobby, and we made Sam up a room in case you wanted more hands on help..." His green eyes flickered to mine. "You hate it."

"When can we move in?"

A grin grew on Deans face. "Now, well, today. Whenever you want." He ran his fingers through his hair. "You really like it?"

I threw my arms around his neck. "I love it. It's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

His hands rested on my waist.

"Can I see the rest of the house?"

"Yeah!" He exclaimed. "Of course!"

He walked me through the other three rooms. Sams was pretty plain with a dresser and a full sized bed, ours had a king size with black satin sheets, and a sliding glass door that lead to a back porch overlooking the woods and the creek. "A perfect place for coffee." He explained.

There was a photo on a desk, in the corner, of me on the day I graduated the police academy. I picked it up, staring at my young face and rested a hand on my stomach. "Where will she sleep?"

"Well, this is still a work in progress, obviously." He said, leading me to the room next to ours. He flipped on the light to expose a small room that held only a newly put together crib and a rocking chair.

"Dean." I said, tearing up as I touched the crib. "This is where our daughter will sleep."

"I'll give you a minute." Sam said, bowing out.

"You don't have to live here." Dean repeated, putting his hands on either side of my face. "I just wanted to set you up, if you wanted it. I hoped to show it to you when the nursery was done, but we just found out the gender... and babe you've seemed so sad. I miss your smile."

I smiled up at him, and I began to cry.

He looked alarmed, wiping my tears but before he could speak, I captured his lips with mine. "I'm happy, Dean. I am. Thank you for this."

"You're welcome." He kissed my nose. "No pressure on a name, by the way. She's gonna have to wear it forever so we shouldn't name her something on a whim."

"So, not Deana?"

"Shut up." He laughed, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Let's move in now." I said, taking out the ultrasound picture from my purse. It was the image of Peanut sucking her thumb. I rested it in the middle of the crib. I touched the photo before turning to him. "I want to be alone with my husband."

His cheeks turned a little red at the word, but he nodded in agreement. "You got it, Sweetheart."

"I still hate that." I said, defiantly.

He grinned and tilted his head to the side. "Sure. I believe that."

"You don't have to believe it." I said flippantly. "But it's the truth."

"I thought we said no lies." Dean said, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm not..."

Dean picked me up in one swift motion, his arm under the crook of my knees and the other on my upper back. "You know what we do to liars, right?"

Heat rose up my neck to my cheeks. "No, what do you do?"

He raised his eyebrows and leaned in to kiss me. "Let me show you." He said walking us back to our bedroom laying us down.

He looked down at me with a loving gaze, slowly moving a curl out of my eye. He was sarcastic, and too harsh, but the way he looked at me always took my breath away. I wasn't the only girl in the room. I was the only girl in the world.

"Woah." He said, alarmed. His eyes looking down at our stomachs pressed together.

"That was a kick." I said with a smile.

His green eyes met mine. They were wide. "That was the craziest thing I've ever felt."

"Tell me about it."

He sat up, and put his hand on my stomach. "Do you think she will do it again?"

"Probably." I shrugged, sitting up a bit.

He stared at my stomach impatiently.

"Maybe if you talk to her?"

"You think that'll work?"

I shrugged again. "Worth a shot."

He leaned down and put his face near my rounded belly. "Hey little one. I'm..." He swallowed hard. "I'm your Dad. I just wanted to say..." His eyes flickered to mine, and I gave him a smile of encouragement. "I wanted to say that I love you more than anything. I don't say that lightly, either."

He patted my stomach and placed a small kiss on it. "You know you've got the best mom, right? She's so beautiful, and loving. She makes some damn good spaghetti." He grinned widely. "She will be the kind of mom that cooks you dinner. Like real dinner, and not McDonalds or a roadside diner."

He rested his forehead against my belly, lost in his conversation with our daughter. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry that I won't get to see you grow up. I never wanted that. I wanted to be better, but I guess some things are fate no matter what we do. Just know, baby girl, that if there was a chance to be with you and your mom I'd take it, because you're my life."

I sucked in my breath, trying not to cry, and Peanut must've felt the same because I felt a little pressure and watched Deans eyes light up. "She kicked me right in the forehead!"

"Little fighter already."

"That was amazing." He breathed. "I'm gonna try again." He said as he leaned in and began whispering to my stomach again.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the hum of his voice against my bare stomach.

There are these moments in life that we can't replicate no matter what we do. Not in our minds, like a photograph. It is just a fleeting moment that disappears like a kiss blown into the darkness.


	30. Truth?

_Twenty-two weeks along_

Ava

"Ava run!" Sam shouted as he dodged a blow from a demon.

We followed a demon lead to a bar in Oak Park Illinois. A powerful demon had been causing quiet mayhem. A girl killing another for a pair of shoes. A family dying of starvation five feet from a kitchen full of food. We thought it was one demon. We were wrong.

The manifestation of the seven deadly sins were circling us like hungry sharks. "You know I can't do that Sam." I said.

We were going to die.

" _I don't have to go." Dean said for the fifth time as he packed his bag._

" _Come on. It'll be fun." I said with a forced smile. "Bobby and your dad need your help. Plus, Sam agreed to go look at baby stuff with me a few towns over."_

" _I should be looking at baby stuff." He grumbled._

_I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. "It's just a few days. You love the hunt."_

" _But I also love you." He pouted._

_I smiled and pressed my forehead to his. "What's this really about?"_

_He shrugged, and his warm breath tickled my lips as he exhaled slowly. "I just miss you already."_

_I laced my fingers with his. "I'm right here."_

_He nodded slowly and kissed me once more before pulling away. "Fine. I'll call you tonight."_

" _Have fun." I smiled._

_He grabbed his bag and tossed it over his shoulder. He gave me a quick peck, touching my stomach. "I'll miss my girls."_

" _We will miss you."_

I lied to him. I was going to die and he would never know.

The demon put a knife to my throat nicking the side, missing my carotid artery. I closed my eyes and clutched my stomach. _I'm sorry baby girl._ We never even gave her a name.

"Let her go! She's pregnant." Sam struggled against the demon that had him pinned.

"Sam I'm sorry. If you get out tell Dean..."

The blade pressed deeper against my throat, causing me to gasp. I felt the best of my own blood rolling down my skin.

"Tell him..."

Suddenly the knife in front of me fell to the floor. I turned in time to see bright, yellow electricity seemed to pulse through the demon before he fell to the floor.

A blonde about my age grinned back at me. The shock of their comrade falling caused the demon to falter. Sam got the jump on him, his elbow connecting with the demons jaw sending him stumbling backwards.

I grabbed a bottle from on the bar and turned, hitting another demon in the head. The blonde dodged a blow, before stabbing another demon. 

Sam grabbed the head of one and shoved it into the sink. He dumped holy water on its head and began an exorcism. The demons head flew out of the water, smoke exploding from its mouth.

The blonde finished off the last few. We were bloody, but we were alive.

"Who are you?"

"Ruby." The blonde said, cleaning her blade of her jeans.

"That blade was able to kill demons." I said slowly.

"Yes."

"How?"

Ruby shrugged. "Is the how really important? I did save your asses."

"Thank you for that." Sam said extending his hand.

Ruby stared at his hand, and didn't shake it.

I frowned. "Who are you?"

"I already said that." Ruby said, flipping her hair.

"Why did you come here?" I asked, glancing at Sam.

"Heard a commotion." She shrugged.

"And you just happened to to saunter in with a demon killing blade?" Sam asked, eyeing her more now.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Fine. You got me. I'm a hunter, Sam."

"He never said his name." I took a step away from her.

Ruby groaned. "Fine, but don't shoot." She put her palms up, flat. She blinked, her eyes turning inky black.

"She's a demon!" Sam exclaimed, reaching for his holy water.

"Slow down, kid." Ruby said blinking her eyes back to a soft human blue.

"Why did you kill this demons?" I asked, narrowing my eyes, it didn't make sense.

"Not all demons are the same, Ava." She said my name like we were old friends. She pursed her lips and smiled. "I wanted to help."

"Why?" Sam questioned, holding the flask, ready to splash it in her smug face. "Why would you want to help us?"

"Because Sam here is special. The boy wonder. Yellow eyes' pet."

"What do you mean?" Sams voice shook slightly.

"You don't know?" She pursed her lips. "Oh Sam."

I looked between the two of them. "Yellow eyes is dead. We killed him."

"Oh, I know." Ruby shrugged. "I just can't believe Sam doesn't know his own potential."

"Let's get rid of her, Sam." I said nervously. I didn't like what she was doing. I didn't trust her.

"No." Ruby said, putting her hands back up. "I just want to help you."

"And why should we believe you?" I asked, sharply.

"Well, first of all." She said, taking out the knife. She flipped the blade so the handle was out towards me. She extended her arm, offering it to me.

I raised an eyebrow and took the blade.

"And second of all." She said, meeting Sams eyes. "I can help you save your brother."

Sam

It was a long car ride with Ava and Ruby. I could tell Ava didn't trust her, but I wasn't in a place to turn down the help.

I pulled up to Ava's house, and put the car in park. "Don't tell Dean about this. Not yet."

"Oh don't worry, I won't." She pursed her lips. "Where are you going?"

"We just need to talk." I said, glancing at Ruby. "I've got the demon blade. I'll be okay."

"Keep me updated, okay?" She asked. I nodded and she gave me a hug. "What are you going to tell him about your neck?" I asked, eyeing her bandage.

She sighed. "No idea. I'm sure it won't go over well."

"Probably not." I agreed with a smile. "See ya."

Ruby and I drove in uncomfortable silence until we got to a coffee shop. I wanted somewhere public, where hopefully no one would try to kill each other.

I ordered two black coffees. She shook her hand away. "I want an iced mocha with extra whip."

I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. "It's tasty, Sam. Don't be a prude." We got our coffee and sat down. She her lips onto the whipped cream and licked the swirl off the top. "Mmm."

"You said I was special. What did you mean?"

”You’re tall.” She teased.

”That’s not what I meant.”

"Fine. Right to the point." Ruby said licking her lips.

"This isn't exactly a social call."

"Right." She flipped her hair and picked at her nails. "Your mom died in your nursery."

"Yeah." I said, pain itching below my sternum. "Yellow Eyes killed her."

"Do you know why?"

I sat up a little straighter. "Is there ever a why with demons? It wasn't a deal."

Ruby laughed and sipped her coffee. She was beautiful, or at least whoever she was wearing was. When she laughed I almost forgot she was a demon, but the image of her black eyes were burned into my retinas. I saw them when I closed my eyes.

"What's so damn funny?" I asked, annoyed. I clenched my fists.

"God, you Winchester's are so serious!" She rolled her eyes and took another sip. "Have you ever been able to do anything with your mind? Any vivid dreams? Premonitions?"

"You're asking me if I'm... psychic? No."

"No?" She raised her eyebrows. "Hm."

I cracked my knuckles awkwardly. "Well... I... I did sometimes have dreams. They were weird, but I... I don't know."

"You don't know what he did to you, or who you were supposed to be." Ruby said leaning forward, closer to me. "He gave you his blood, Sam. Demon blood, and as you grew you became stronger, but you were a hunter. You grew up to kill monsters like him. He couldn't foster that behavior. Those talents."

"He... he... oh my god." I felt sick.

Ruby reached for my hand, taking it in hers. "Sam, you are strong. You're exactly what we need to save your brother."

I pulled my hand from hers, standing up. "Why are you doing this?"

"I want..." She pursed her lips. "I want redemption, Sam. When I was human I was a witch. I was damned for that, but I wasn't a bad person. This is my redemption arc. Plus you're so tall."

"You were human?"

"All demons were human once."

I looked in her eyes, trying to see if I believed her. If I could trust her.

I slowly sat down. "How can we save Dean?"

"You've been looking for the right thing in the wrong place. No low level demon owns contracts. No, the cross road demons are salesmen. You want the CEO."

"Do you know who owns his contract?"

She sipped her coffee and smiled. "I do. Her name is Lilith, and she's evil. Like really evil, and that's coming from me. Since Yellow Eyes died she has decided she wants to be the Grand Poopa."

I frowned. "And that's bad?"

"Oh yeah."

"How are we going to get her to drop Deans contract?"

"We aren't." She shrugged. "We are going to kill her."

"But if she's a big bad, then how are we going to do that?"

"You're going to. With your psychic brain." She said tapping my forehead.

"What? Ever since Yellow Eyes died I've felt completely normal. If there was anything brewing it's done now." I put my face in my hands, feeling like any hope was dying.

"Hey." She titled her head. "You just need some juice, and some practice. We will get you ready, Sam."

I moved my hands to meet her eyes. I didn't like the sound of that, but what other choice do I have?

Dean

The case was a total milk run. In and out, and I was home by the end of the day. I fell back onto our bed and closed my eyes. The sheets were smooth, catching the callouses on my fingers.

I couldn't believe I had anything this nice. I opened my eyes and stared at the ring on my left hand. "Fuck." I whispered to myself. I had a woman who loved me. I stood up and walked slowly into the nursery. The walls were light pink and recently dried. I cracked open the window to release the paint smell. I lowered myself into the rocking chair, moving the teddy bear that sat on the chair. I held it against my chest and rocked quietly.

My chest ached with the loss I was already feeling. I closed my eyes again. I rocked myself, the bear in my hands.

"Dean I'm home!" Ava said, as I heard the lock click from the front room.

"Back here!" I called for her, my eyes still closed.

I heard her waddle down the hall. I opened my eyes to catch her leaning against the door frame. "Hey." She said, eyeing me.

"Hey back."

"Whatcha doin?"

"Thinking." I sighed, putting the bear down. I opened my arms for her to come sit with me.

"About what?"

"Life. How was baby shopping with Sammy? Did you get any tiny shoes? You know how much I like those."

She walked to me, dropping into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her. She turned toward me, and I froze. "What is this, Ava?" I asked, moving her hair from her shoulder. There was a bandage on her neck.

"Oh this? Umm..."

I peeled back the bandage before I could hear her bullshit excuse. There were stitches. I recognized Sams handy work. "What the fuck?"

"Hey, I'm fine. I'm okay." Ava moved my hand from the wound into her hands.

"What happened?"

"It was an accident."

"Some accident." I frowned moving her off my lap so I could stand. "Tell me the truth."

"It was a demon." She bit her lip.

"A demon? I thought you were shopping!"

"Don't yell." She shrunk in front of me.

I was pissed, and I tried to clench my fists at my side and breathe. I needed to calm down. I didn't want to scare her.

I turned to her and put her face in my hands. "What happened?"

"It just kind of happened. We went to get some food and things got hairy. It was a coincidence."

"Truth?"

She nodded instantly. "Truth."

I searched her face. "You're okay?"

"Yes."

"Baby is okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I leaned in and kissed her. "No more hunting trips. Not for me or for you. I'm running out of time, Ave. I want this time to be with you. Just me and you."

"Deal." Ava said, standing on her tiptoes so she could kiss me again. "Just me and you."

"And Peanut." I said touching her stomach.

"Of course, and Peanut." Just the three of us. The way it always was supposed to be, and the way it never would be.


	31. Monsters

_Twenty-six weeks along_

Ava

"Come on Dean, do I have to? I look ridiculous?"

We had four weeks left.

"I doubt that. Come on out."

Sam was off with Ruby preparing. Looking for Lilith.

"Ugh. Fine, but don't you dare laugh."

"I wouldn't, scouts honor." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Red lips, painted cheeks, dark eyelashes. I asked him what he wanted to do today. He said strip club. I said, only if he wanted to see hell earlier. We found a compromise.

My newly plump breasts were on display in a lace bra. You could see my nipples through the fabric. I had on matching panties, stockings with garters, and heels that were already making my pregnant feet swell. I topped it off with his favorite flannel.

We had four weeks.

_She's my cherry pie! Cool drink of water such a sweet surprise._

I rolled my eyes and forced a sultry smile on my lips, before I pushed out of the bathroom. I leaned against the door frame with my hair falling in my face.

His eyes widened and a grin rose on his lips, exposing a line of white teeth.

I spun around, feeling dizzy and off balance from my weird, new center of gravity. I let the flannel drop, and I ran my fingers through my hair. I peaked at him from over my shoulder. His eyes were fixed on me and his jaw a little slack.

I winked at him when our eyes met and he sat up a little straighter. I turned and walked to him. He put his hands on my waist, first running them over my belly. "I feel ridiculous." I whispered.

"You look delicious."

I could feel heat roll up over my collarbones, up my neck, onto my cheeks. He pulled me to him, and I sat on his lap, straddling him.

"I'm a bad stripper."

"A naughty stripper." He teased. "I married a naughty stripper."

I ran my fingers through his hair. He needed a haircut. "You married me."

"Yes I did."

I kissed him. My tongue slid into his mouth, touching his. I needed him. He wrapped his arms around me, unclasping my bra, tossing it away. I sighed as my breasts fell back to their natural resting place above my belly. They were full.

He took one in his hand placing a gentle kiss.

My body was changing and he was drinking it in. I didn't feel ridiculous anymore when he looked up at me from my breast. His green eyes were sparkling. He loved me, and my heart swelled with it. I pulled his shirt over his head and pressed our bare skin together.

I put my hands on his chest, laying him flat on his back. I leaned forward, struggling to reach his lips with my belly in the way, and I would just get bigger. He ran his hands down my back and propped himself up to capture my mouth in his.

We were always good at this. No matter what was going on, this was easy. Natural. I knew Dean was experienced, but he never seemed bored when we were together. We were made for each other.

He rolled me on to my back and sat between my legs. He pulled my leg to him, and released the strap on my high heel. I sighed in relief as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of my foot. "Better?" He whispered, massaging the indent that my shoe left.

"Much." I exhaled.

He kissed up my leg, my thighs, he paused at my stomach, leaving gentle kisses there. There was more connecting us now. Perhaps it was the loss, or perhaps it was the life we were building together. A life we never thought we would have. One we didn't dare want. We were one in the same, the Winchester's and I. I was a part of them. I just hoped Sam was finding a solution, so it wouldn't have to end.

Dean

I laid with Ava naked and curled against my side. I couldn't imagine a better place to be. "That wasn't a complete strip show." I pretended to complain.

She glared up at me. "And whose fault is that?"

"Yours. You're irresistible to me." I captured her lips in mine and kissed her again. I could kiss her forever.

She grunted and held her stomach. I frowned. "You good?"

"Your daughter is kicking my kidney."

I grinned widely.

She frowned in response. "You could at least pretend that you're concerned for my well being."

"I don't think our baby can do any serious damage. She's only as big as head of kale."

She raised an eyebrow. "Have you been reading my baby books?"

"Have you?" I challenged with a grin.

I picked up the book to get some of my curiosity about what was happening with Ava out of my head, but all it did was crack open a whole new level of fear that I didn't know I could have. There was a lot of danger in carrying a baby, for the baby and the mom. I wouldn't be there to protect her. I wouldn't be there to hold her hand.

"You okay?" Ava asked, running her finger along the crease in my forehead. "You got serious all of a sudden."

I cleared my throat. "Uh, no I'm fine. Just worrying that if Sam finds out we compared Peanut to kale that he will try to eat her."

Ava rolled her eyes with a laugh. "By the time she's out she won't resemble any fruits or vegetables so I'm not too concerned about that."

"You always know how to calm me down." I said, running my fingers along her spine. "Where is Sam, anyway? Last time I called I swore I heard a chick in the background. Does he have a girlfriend he hasn't told me about?"

Ava shrugged, and avoided my eyes. "Why would I know?"

"You're his best friend?"

Her eyes flickered to mine. "I don't think he has a girlfriend."

"Hm. I guess not."

They were acting cagey lately. Ever since her last run in with the demons, Ava always looked like she was stepping on legos. Her face seemed permanently in pain. At first I worried it was the baby, but Sam was acting off too. I'd barely seen him in the last month. I would've expected him to be up my ass constantly since my days were literally numbered.

"The real question is," Ava said, propping herself up on her elbow. Her hair spilled down over her shoulder. "Why are you thinking about Sam when you're in bed with me?"

She was good at changing the subject.

"For the life of me, I can't remember why." I said, pulling the sheets over our heads and pulling her on top of me. "You're so sexy." I growled, taking her fingers in my mouth.

"I'm a ballon." She complained, closing her eyes.

I kissed her finger tips. "No. You're so sexy. I didn't think I could find you any sexier than I did, but damn I couldn't have imagined how you would look carrying my kid."

When people say that pregnant women have a glow, man they aren't kidding. Her skin looked more alive, warm, and it was even more sensitive than it was before. My kisses seemed to ignite her. Her breasts were full and growing larger. Her ass had a weight to it. She had the body of a woman. My woman.

She raised her eyebrow. "Ready to go again?" She asked, her hand running down my stomach and finding me.

I met her eyes. I was breathless. Her touch was electric. All I could do was nod before pulling her closer to me. I didn't want to let this go. I didn't know how I ever would be able to.

Sam

"Do it." Ruby said cooly, her arms crossed lazily on her chest.

My eyes flickered to hers and then to the demon that was strapped to the chair in front of me. I focused, holding out my hand. I clenched my fist, and my jaw tightened, I focused hard until I felt like the veins in my eyes would pop. I felt blood roll down from my nose into my mouth. It tasted metallic. I stumbled and Ruby caught me, lowering me down to a seat.

The demon laughed, but the laughter was cut short by Ruby's knife to its chest.

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. "I'm too weak. I'll never be able to kill Lilith like this."

Ruby lowered herself so she was eye to eye with me. She was squatting, and resting her palms on my knees. "Want to tap the keg? You know that'll help." She said smoothly.

"No." I said, avoiding her eyes. She looked like just a girl, but I knew better. I couldn't get swept up. Not like before.

" _It doesn't make you a monster, Sam."_

" _Yeah, coming from an actual monster." I snapped._

_Ruby rolled her eyes and let down her hair. "All I'm saying, is what are you more afraid of? Losing control, or losing Dean._ "

_I met her eyes in anger, but I was immediately softened when I caught the sympathy in her eyes. She was still a demon, but I remembered what she said. She was human once. Maybe she does remember._

" _I don't want to lose either." I admitted._

" _There's only one thing that can kill Lilith and that is you, Sam. Not Dean, not me, you." She pushed her hair over her shoulder exposing her pale neck._

_We were sharing a motel room, against my better judgement. Suddenly the air felt thick, and warm._

" _I know you can do it, Sam. You're strong." Her eyes explored my face, and down the rest of me. I felt vulnerable, and naked under her gaze. "I know Dean treats you like a kid, but you aren't. You're a man." She took a step towards me. "There's no shame in getting a little, enhancement."_

_She ran her finger along my chest, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to raise._

_Her blue eyes flickered to mine. Fuck it. I pulled her to me, our lips crashing together. She gasped in surprise, but quickly adjusted by biting my lower lip._

_I picked her up and carried her to the bed, ripping open her top, exposing her bare breasts. She shrugged and flipped her hair exposing her throat again. I leaned my mouth in to kiss the soft spot above her pulse. She groaned slightly, and ran her hands down my back before reaching one nail up to her neck. She pressed the sharp end of her nail in deep enough to draw blood, she ran the nail down, exposing more open flesh. Blood rolled out of the wound, and before I could talk myself out of it my lips were around the wound._

_The first taste made me sick to my stomach. The familiar metallic taste shocked my tongue, but then I felt a warmth travel through me. It rolled down my throat like a good whiskey, and traveled through my veins. Ruby moaned, and grinded against me._

_I moved my mouth from her throat when the blood flow slowed, and brought my mouth to hers. She unbuttoned my shirt and left tiny suck marks down my neck and chest. Her lips were coded in blood, but I didn't care. I was euphoric._

_Sex with her was a blur of fire and red._ _It was wrong, but the power pulsing through me told me it was right. Her blood ran through my veins, and our hearts beat together. Even though that should scare me, it didn't. I liked it._

"I recognize that look." Ruby said, pushing a strand of hair away from my face. "I miss it too." She smirked. "It's okay to want it, Sam. No one will tell." Her eyes flickered to mine.

We were locked in that spot. My breath hitched in my throat as she stood on her tip toes. "All work and no play, Sam." She whispered. I looked down and watched her squeeze a blade in her hand. She pulled her right hand up and ran the blood across my lips.

I could hear my heart pound in my ears. My muscles tensed, and instinctively my tongue ran along my bottom lip, sending that familiar surge through me. Ruby smiled triumphantly.

My eyes narrowed and I pulled her against me. "There ya go." She whispered as I pressed my mouth to her bleeding palm. "Let me in, baby. Just let me in."

It wasn't about Ruby, or about me. It was about Dean. I had to save Dean. I had to...


	32. You Lied to Me

_29 weeks along_

Ava

"You don't know where Lilith is? Then what the hell have you been doing the last month and a half! We are almost out of time, Sam!" I shouted, my hands in the air.

"You don't think I know that?"

"We don't know where she is, but I'm close to finding out." Ruby said, crossing her arms.

"No one asked you!" I snapped.

"Oh please, sweetie. You aren't even a part of this."

I turned to her, wanting to grab her blonde hair and rip it out of her hair. Anything to remove that smug expression. "Of course I am."

"No, Ava." Sam said, shaking his head. "You aren't."

"No." I said, poking Sams chest. "I'm going. You can't keep me out of this. I'm his wife."

"Yeah, his pregnant wife."

"You can't keep me out of this just because I'm pregnant."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Lilith eats babies for breakfast. Don't be stupid."

I wanted to scream. "What have you two been doing for the last month? No offense, Sam, but I don't trust her."

"We have been preparing." Sam said softly. "I'm almost strong enough."

"You've been what? Going to the gym?"

"Not exactly." Ruby said smugly.

"We have to take out Lilith!" I shouted in frustration. My blood pressure was high, and I was sweating. It couldn't be good for me. My daughter was kicking like crazy inside of me.

"Who is Lilith?" Dean asked, stepping into the living room.

"Dean, what are you..." I stood with my jaw hanging open. He wasn't supposed to be home. We were busted.

"Doing here?" He crosses his arms. The familiar wrinkle rolled across his forehead. "Why am I not having a day alone to process my impending trip to hell? Come on, Ave, you should've seen right through that."

I didn't know what to say. It was an ambush.

"Who is Lilith? And who the fuck is this?" Dean asked, turning toward Ruby.

Sam sighed. "We knew you'd try to stop us, but Dean we are close. We know who holds your contract."

Dean shook his head. "No! Damn it! No. You aren't doing this shit. I'm dead. I'm gone. Just let me fucking go."

I winced, and held my belly.

"Don't be stubborn, big brother." Ruby said, narrowing her eyed.

"Who are you?"

Ruby smiled and extended her hand. "Ruby. I'm helping, selflessly out of the goodness of my heart, or whatever, so I'd be a little sweeter to me if I were you."

Sam stiffened as they shook hands. The moment Dean knew what she was there would be no more pleasantries.

"Lilith has your contract." Ruby said, dropping Deans hand. "She has a lot of them. Sort of a big dog around Hell."

He frowned. "How do you know that?"

Ruby's eyes flickered to Sams. He gave a quick head shake as to beg her not to say it, but her bottom lip twitched in a smile as she turned to Dean flickering her eyes black.

"What the..." Dean immediately put up his hands, ready to fight.

"Relax, big boy. I'm on the good guy team." Her eyes flickered back to blue. "Ask your brother, or your wifey. I've been working to help save your precious little soul."

Dean

I clenched my fists. "What is she talking about?"

"Ruby is helping us." Sam said carefully.

"She's a demon, Sam!"

I remembered the call I made to Sam. There was a girl in the background. Was it her?

"I know that. Trust me, but she has saved my life. She gave me a blade that can kill demons." He pulled out a blade from his boot and showed it to me.

My jaw was tight. "No way. I don't like this."

"I didn't either." Ava said from behind me. She was cradling her stomach, and her eyes were full of tears. "But I can't lose you, Dean. I can't. I need you. Our baby needs you."

I met her blue eyes and my stomach clenched. I knew in that moment that I didn't want to go to Hell. I wanted to see our daughter grow up. I wanted to walk her down the aisle some day. I wanted to spend every night falling asleep with Ava in my arms. I wanted to pester Sam, and go on hunts with Bobby. I wanted to drive Baby into the sunset. I wanted to eat pie and drink beer. I wanted to be alive, but at what cost?

"You could die." I said.

"We have to try." She was begging me. Pulling at my heart strings. It wasn't fair.

"I'm not agreeing to this." I said stubbornly. "What were you going to do anyway? How were you going to take down this big, bad Lilith? Knife her? I'm sure that would work." I spat bitterly.

"We weren't going to knife her, per say." Ruby said curtly. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "But we do have a weapon." She gestured to Sam.

"What the hell does that mean?"

Ava slid her hand into mine. I looked to her. She seemed so small.

"Ava, what is she talking about?" I asked her, lowering my voice.

"Me." Sam said, taking a step toward me. "She's talking about me."

I narrowed my eyes. "No offense, Sammy, but you aren't exactly a demon killing machine."

"But he is, actually." Ruby said with a shrug. "Or he will be with a little more juice."

Sam looked uncomfortable.

My stomach churned. Something was wrong. I looked to Ava. Her eyes were wide, and her lip was trembling.

"Sammy what is she saying?"

"When I was a baby Yellow Eyes came to my nursery and he... he fed me his blood."

My blood ran cold. I stared at my little brother. "What."

"It gave me.. abilities, but they were never fostered since we became hunters. I would've been more of a threat. Ruby has been coaching me. I can expel demons from their hosts. Like an exorcism, but more powerful. I can kill Lilith I just need a little more.." He was rambling.

"A little more, what, Sammy?" I asked slowly.

Ava's hand was clammy in mine.

Ruby rested her hand on Sams shoulder in a familiar way. Her hip was cocked towards him, her fingers twisting in his shaggy hair. I'd seen the same actions in Ava when she was with me. It was more than familiar. It was flirtatious. Possessive.

_He will be with a little more juice. He fed me his blood. Abilities. Kill._

I was going to be sick.

I released Ava's hand and rubbed my face before looking my brother in the eye. "Just say it Sam."

"I've been drinking demon blood to get stronger. So I can kill Lilith. So I can save your soul." He was trying to sound strong. His chest was puffed up.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't look at him. "Sam. No. You're done with this. No more of whatever _this_ is. I won't let you become a monster." My eyes flickered open and I caught him staring at me hard.

"This isn't your choice."

I laughed humorlessly. "Don't pretend you are doing this for me. What is this? You want to be special? Different?"

Sam looked hurt. He shook his head. "No. I told you. You're my brother. Do you want to go to Hell?"

"No! But I'm going, and I'll be damned if I leave you suckling on a demon when you're supposed to be keeping your promises to me."

Sam frowned. "So you can run out on your responsibilities, but I can't?"

Before I could think my fist collided with his jaw. Ava gasped at my side. "All you do is run out on people, Sam. You ran away as a kid, and then you ran out on Dad and I to go to school. You would've left already if you didn't have a thing for Ava. So don't act like you're doing me a favor. All you've ever cared about is you." I spat. I shook my head and turned away, walking past Ava and right out of the house.

My vision was pulsing with red. I was pissed, and I was still going to die.

Ava

"What the fuck, Sam?! You're drinking her blood?"

Ruby smirked. "I love it when boys fight. All the testosterone is palpable."

"Shut up, black eyed bitch."

"Ooh, ouch." She said with an eye roll. "Ava your one liners really hurt me in the black hole in my chest where my heart should be."

"Deans right, you know. You can't keep doing this. It isn't right. It's..."

"It's what, Ava?" Sam asked, looking lost. A bruise was already forming on his jaw line where Deans fist collided. "If I don't do it, then Dean will die. He will be in Hell. That's not what you want."

I pressed my lips together.

_You would've left already if you didn't have a thing for Ava._

I shook my head. "No. We will find another way." I looked between Sam and Ruby. "No more of this... blood drinking crap. Seriously. This isn't the way."

I pushed out of the house to find Dean sitting next to the Impala, leaning against it. His flask was in his hands and his head was between his knees. "Babe." I breathed in relief.

"You seriously don't think I'd leave you with Sam the way he is, and a fucking demon, do you?"

"No." I said, offering him my hand to help him up.

He stood up, with no help from me. Our hands were still together, fingers laced. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't."

"You didn't know he was drinking her blood, or you didn't know she was a demon?"

I winced, holding my stomach with my free hand. "That he was drinking her blood."

"So you knew she was a demon?"

I bit my lip and met his eyes. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"You lied to me."

"I don't want to lose you."

"You _lied,_ Ava."

I squeezed his hand. He didn't move his hand from mine. "I did. You would've done the same. You did do the same. You didn't tell me what you did. You wouldn't have. You wanted to save me. Why is it just you that sacrifices?"

He moved his hands from mine and put them on my biceps. He squeezed them tightly. "It's what a man does for his family. You and Peanut are my family. I couldn't let you die. I couldn't."

"And I can't let you die." I put my hands on my stomach. "Our daughter deserves to have you."

"No. She deserves to have a life free of monsters. Free of me."

"Dean." My heart was breaking in front of me. I touched his forearms. He were shaking a little under my fingertips. "Truth?"

"Truth? I... I don't want to go to Hell. I want to be with you and the baby. The real truth is, though, is that I don't think it will make a difference. I think if we try we will all end up dead."

"We might." I agreed, rubbing circles with my fingers. "But we might also _win._ Dean, I would bet on us."

He shook his head. "I would bet on you, but I wouldn't bet on us."

"Then bet on me. Bet on Sam. We will find a way."

"Will you let this go?"

"Truth? I won't."

He pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair. "You're so stubborn." He whispered.

"Yes."

"It's one of the things I love about you."

"I love everything about you."

We walked in together. Joined as one. His arm was around me, and my fingers were laced with his. We were partners.

Sam and Ruby were arguing. She was pacing. His fingers were in his hair.

"There has to be another way." Sam said.

"You don't listen! We already have a way."

Dean cleared his throat as we stepped into the living room.

"I thought you left." Sam said, looking at us, defeated.

"Just went outside. Had to think." Dean grunted.

"What did you decide?"

"We are in." I said slowly.

"But we aren't using you, Sam. No more demon blood." Dean said, matching my pace.

"We will find another way." I agreed.

"Don't you people listen? Lilith is evil! She is the big bad. You can't just use a Hail Mary. You have to bring the big guns. Even though Sam has big guns, he is also the big gun." Ruby said, frustrated.

"No. We will find another way."

"And if you don't?"

Dean met Sams eyes and then mine. "Well then in typical Winchester nature, I will die trying."


	33. Her Hair Tie

_Thirty weeks along_

Dean

"Morning beautiful." I said with a yawn, draping my arm around Ava's large mid section. She turned to look at me. Her mouth was a gaping black hole, stretching and turning, the gray sunken skin on her cheeks morphed, her empty eyes looked towards me, but nowhere at all. I flinched and closed my eyes.

"Mmm. I'm so sleepy."

When I opened my eyes again she looked normal, beautiful, and sleepy. We were out of time. I could feel the hell hounds licking my ankles already.

Our plan wasn't ideal. Ruby found out that Lilith was on vacation.

" _What does a demon do on vacation?" Ava asked, folding her arms across her chest._

" _Trust me, you don't want to know." Ruby said flatly. "But her guard will be down. It's our best chance."_

" _Do you know where she will be?"_

" _I'm working on that."_

Any day now I was toast. It had been 24 weeks. We were using any precaution to keep the dogs away from me, but there were only so many herbs. There were only so many ways to push this off. It was happening. Maybe it was time to say goodbye.

"Dean?"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

She closed her eyes. "I said, I think I need glasses. My pregnancy vision is getting really bad."

"You'd look cute in glasses." I held her cheek, rubbing circles with my thumb. "Like a sexy librarian."

"You wish."

"I do." I said kissing her lips. She was warm and familiar. She tasted like sleep. Like home.

"God, put your dick away." Ruby groaned. "We found Lilith."

Ava and I sat up and looked at each other. _Shit. Here goes nothing._

"We are leaving in 10." Ruby said before stomping out.

"I guess I'm out of here." I said, kissing her temple. I swung my legs over the side of the bed.

"You're? I'm going."

"No, you're not. We don't have time to argue."

"You're right, we don't." She said in frustration.

"I can't risk you getting hurt." I said, glancing at her.

I slid into my jeans, and clipped the button.

"And I'm not ready to say goodbye. I can help."

I frowned. They didn't tell you about this part when you get married. It's all flowers and kisses on your wedding day. They don't tell you that your wife will want to walk into the fire next to you. Stubborn woman. She was obviously made for me. I turned to her, grabbing her face in my hands. "You will not die for me. Do you hear me? You can come, but the moment it gets hairy you get out of there." I stared into her crystal blue eyes. "You have to keep Peanut safe, because I can't."

She softened at this, and she nodded. "Kiss me."

"Always." I pressed my mouth to hers urgently. I wanted more time. Even though it was a long shot, I needed this to work.

Ava

Liliths vacation spot was only a few hours away. Dean seemed distant, fiddling with his wedding ring, and looking out the window. He was in the back seat with me, claiming sarcastically that we could fool around while Sam drove. The reality, though, is that there was something going on inside his head. I saw the way he looked at me when I woke up that morning. He was afraid.

"Hey, feel." I said, pressing his hand to the space above my belly button where our baby was kicking away.

This seemed to relax him, the wrinkles in his face relaxed and his head dropped to look at my belly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I'd been fighting a hell of a headache in the last week, and I hadn't mentioned it because, fuck we had other problems.

"So what's the plan?" I asked Sam and Ruby.

"We will have to take her off guard." Ruby said, pulling into the neighborhood, it was twilight.

"So let's just go in. She won't expect it." Dean said flippantly.

"Oh, please." Ruby said. "See the mail man? How frequently do they deliver this late in the evening?"

I turned to look at who she was referencing. "He is a demon?"

"And the man who has been watering the bushes over there? He's been watering them constantly since we pulled up. And the woman in the window with the dog?"

"They're all demons?" Sam asked in awe. "Shit."

"Maybe we should back out." Dean said quietly. "Go in smart, or not go in at all."

"No. We are going to try. If we go down, at least we will go down swinging."

"Why, Sam?"

Sam turned from the drivers seat and met Deans eyes. "Because you're my brother, and you'd do it for me."

Sam pulled the car away, so we could regroup. "So what does a demon do for fun?" Dean asked casually, trying to break the ice.

"You don't wanna know." Ruby said, picking at her nails.

Bobby and John we're headed up the rear. We needed to regroup. We needed a plan. We needed a little hope.

Dean

Sam and I leaned against the car. "Hey I just wanted to say if this goes sideways... thanks."

I raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"For taking care of me."

"Oh, come on, Sammy. If this is my last day on earth let's not spend it doing _this._ "

"You know, she wants me to finish this. Maybe you should let me."

I shook my head. "Sam there's not a lot I know in this world, but I do know that getting in bed with demons is never a good idea. No matter what they offer you."

"You regret your deal?"

"I don't want to go to Hell, Sammy. I won't let any of you be as bone headed as me, because, look me over, I'm not pregnant. I'm not special."

"You're wrong. You are special."

"Are you two done?" Bobby asked, sauntering over to us. "We have a plan."

"Let's hear it." I said shortly.

"We will bait one demon at a time, getting them with the knife. We will poison the water supply with holy water and click on the sprinklers so nothing can enter or exit the house. You should get an element of surprise."

"I'll guard the perimeter." Dad said, meeting my eyes. There'd always been so much contempt there, but now there was something else. "I'll keep the demons away from you."

I turned my face to Ruby when my stomach dropped. I could see her, past her human face. I could see the dark thing beneath. Her black, Smokey skin, her black hollow eyes, and her sharp sinister smile.

"What?" She asked, pursing her lips.

"I just... I didn't know before, but damn you're an ugly broad."

"Dean?" Ava asked me, alarmed.

"I can see her face. Well her face under that face."

"It makes sense." Bobby said slowly. "You're piercing the veil. You can see Hells bitches."

"I am not Hell's bitch." Ruby said with an eye roll.

"That could be useful." Sam said. "Now they won't be able to get the jump on us as easily."

I frowned. "Well I'm glad my damned soul is good for something."

"Dean." Ava said, touching my arm gently.

I looked to her and matched her sad expression. "Sorry." I said, taking her hand.

"We need to hurry." Bobby said, meeting my eyes. "We are running out of time."

I squeezed Avas hand, bringing her knuckles up to my mouth. I pressed a kiss on them, and then on her ring finger. "Let's go."

—————————

We crouched outside of the house. "That's her." I said, with a wince. "The little girl."

Ava peeked into the house, my arm was around her waist.

" _Please stay with Bobby." I asked her quietly, holding her hands. Bobby was stationed in an abandoned house across the street, watching, to warn us of what was to come. "I don't think I can focus if you're there."_

" _I am your partner, Dean. I won't leave your side"._

_I ran my hands down her back and looked into her blue eyes. "You're so stubborn."_

" _You love that about me."_

" _Please don't die." I said, desperately, pressing my forehead to hers._

" _You too." She whispered, her breath hot on my lips._

_We made a promise to each other that I didn't think I could keep. I just hoped she could keep hers._

"Her?" Ava asked, pointing to the little blonde, no older than 7 years old who was seated in front of a large birthday cake, surrounded by her parents and grandfather. There were tight smiles across their faces.

"Definitely." I said as we crouched back out of view.

"Ready?" She asked me.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I said with a nod.

We got in position. Sam along the side of the house, and Ava crouched over the main water supply.

I purposefully caught the eye of a demon and ran around the home to Sam. The demon followed me, running into the demon blade.

"One down." Sam whispered with a grin.

I drug it's body behind the house so it wouldn't be spotted.

By the third kill I was feeling positive. Maybe I would survive this after all.

"Going out swinging, huh?" I asked Sam with a grin.

"You're not going anywhere."

I shrugged and looked up from behind Sam. "That's yet to be seen." I whispered as I saw the habitants of the houses in the neighborhood out on their porches. Staring at us with black eyes.

"Run." Sam said, as we took off to the front porch of the house, the demons breaking into a run as well. Sam clicked his lock pick in place and began turning it.

The demons were quickly coming to the house. "Come on Sammy!"

"I'm trying!"

Where's Ava?

The sprinklers exploded into action, making the demons scream in pain, but someone was breaking through the holy water.

She dropped her hood and wiggled out of her jacket. I finally let my breath go. "You're a genius."

"Tell me something I don't know." My wife said with a smile.

Sam clicked the lock into place and we were in.

The house was dark. Sam stepped over an older woman's corpse in the doorway. She had obviously been there for days. There were flies on her cheek. Ava covered her nose, and we walked around her.

I unwillingly let go of Ava's hand so we could raise our guns. At best we could get a hit in to slow the demons down if they got through the line of holy water.

There was a creak next to me and I turned to find the husband from the house. I grabbed him, covering his mouth with my hand. "Shh. We are here to help you, but you need to be quiet. Ok?"

The man nodded. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs." He whispered.

"Go downstairs and make a salt line at the door. Don't come out no matter what."

"I can't go without my wife." He hissed.

"You can." I said sharply. "We will get her. Just go." I shoved him away.

He looked alarmed, grabbed the salt shaker off the table and ran toward the stairs.

I met Ava's eyes, and then Sams with a nod. We all slowly went up the stairs. Ruby went in one door, Sam in one, Ava and I in another.

We went into what was obviously the parents room. It was empty. The bed was unmade. It was obvious that the family hadn't slept much since the invasion.

The room was eerily quiet. Ava opened up the closet and shook her head. Empty. As expected. If she wasn't pregnant I may lock her in there to keep her safe. To keep her stubbornness from getting her and our child killed. "Stay here." I told her quietly. "Until it's over."

"No." Her voice was stern and clear. "Don't ask me again." She moved past me, and opened the door again.

I didn't get the chance to ask her again. I was afraid I never would.

I pushed in the door Sam went in. He was hovered over a child's bed. The wife was lying down with her daughter at her side. The child, Lilith, was asleep in a canopy bed. I went around to where Sam stood, with his blade raised.

"Do it!" The woman whispered in desperation. "Do it!"

Sam raised the knife. I glanced at the girl, and she was all I saw. No demonic face under her sleeping one. She was just a child. "Sam! No!"

He looked to me as the child sat up with a scream.

"She isn't Lilith. Not anymore." I told him quietly. I looked to Ava and she nodded.

"Go down to the basement. Your husband is there. You'll be safe."

"You should go to." Sam said, but Ava brushed him off.

"Where's Ruby?" She asked.

"She went into a different room." Sam said slowly.

"We've lost the element of surprise." I said, moving out into the hallway. Ruby burst out of the room she had been in.

"Can Lilith get past the holy water?" Sam asked her.

"With her pay grade she isn't sweating some holy water."

We went down the stairs as a group. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing straight up. My time was out. It was over. Lilith was gone, and I was going to Hell.

We stood in the dining room. The house was empty except for us and the family. It was fucking over.

"Okay, Ruby, I'm in." Sam said, turning to the blonde.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked.

"What do I have to do to save Dean? You told me you have a solution, I'm on board."

"You has your chance. It's too late. I told you I had a solution but that was before. We needed time. This isn't just a switch. Dean is dead, and we need to get out of here before we are all dead too."

"There has to be a way. Whatever it is I will do it." He said intensely. I grabbed at Sam. I had to stop him. He wouldn't die for me. I wouldn't let him. "Dean no! Stop! I'm not going to let you go to Hell."

"Yes you are. Yes you are. I'm sorry. I did this, but whatever you're trying to do isn't going to save me. It's just going to kill you." I told him, holding him close to me.

"So what am I supposed to do?" He asked, defeated.

"Take care of my wheels. Take care of Ava and my daughter. Keep fighting the good fight, Sammy. Always remember what I taught you."

The clock in the living room chimed. Midnight.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Ruby said. "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."

Ava reached for me, but I put out a hand to stop her. I could hear the snarls echo through the room, and there it was. "Hell Hound." I said softly before seeing the creature in front of me. It was a large dog that almost seemed to be made of black demon smoke, but it was more grounded. It's large white teeth dripped with blood and thick saliva, it's black eyes caught sight of me and it charged.

We ran, pushing as hard as we could into a room adjacent. Ruby and Sam held the door shut as Ava and I sprinkled dust along the entrances to the room.

"That won't hold it for long." Ruby said. "Give me the knife, Sam and I'll try to hold it off."

I turned as Sam began to hand the blade to Ruby. Her sharp teeth turned into a smile as her milky white eyes locked onto the knife.

"Sam no! It isn't Ruby."

I could still see her black eyes echoing in my memory.

"Oh boys, you got me." Lilith flashed her white eyes to us a won't a sinister smile. She flicked her fingers sending me flat on my back against the floor, and Ava and Sam pinned against the wall.

"Ava!" I shouted, turning my head to make sure she was okay.

"Where's Ruby?" Sam asked between gritted teeth.

"Gone." Lilith said with a song-song tone. "She was a naughty girl. So I sent her away."

I struggled against her restraint, but I couldn't move. I could still hear the hound scratching at the door.

"Let them go!" I shouted, struggling. This is what I was afraid of. This is why I didn't want her to come.

" _We will always be together." Ava said, her fingers laced in mine. It was hard to not believe her when she was still in her wedding gown. "Fate be damned."_

_She turned to me, her hair blowing in the breeze from the sea. Her lips exposed a row of perfect teeth. I remembered what it felt like the first time I saw her on that shore. She looked so free. She was beautiful._

" _I guess in a way we will."_

_She put her arms around my neck. "In every way."_

_She kissed me like it was the first time, like it may be the last time. In the life we live we never know what time will be our last._

What time was our last?

"I don't speak to puppy chow." Lilith said with a sweet smile. "Sam." She breathed, walking to him. "I am so pleased to meet you. I've heard all about you." She leaned in and pressed her mouth to my unwilling brother.

"Let my brother out of his deal." He said, his voice surprisingly strong. "I'll give you whatever you want."

Lilith laughed sharply. "Oh silly Sam. You're trying to barter with me when you have nothing I want."

She backed up and took the door in her hand. "Sick 'em boy!" She said, swinging the door open.

Ava

"No!" I cried out. My scream echoing through the silence of the night, through the demons laughter, through Sams one cries.

When you lose everything, time slows, it crawls. I couldn't see the hound, but I could see it's claw marks scratching at the floor as it ran for Dean. He was still held down by Lilith's invisible hand. The creature grabbed at him, pulling him off the table. He screamed out in pain, causing my vision to blur from tears. It was static along the edge, as his flesh ripped from long, hellish claws. Blood poured from his mouth as he cried out, his green eyes searching for me.

I struggled against my own invisible restraints. I felt helpless. I couldn't help him. I was useless. "I'm here, Dean! I'm here!"

He opened his mouth to respond and cried out again. Large gashes appeared on his chest. This was my fault. He did all of this for me.

The hounds claws ran down his right arm, leaving long, deep cuts. Time slowed even more as the claw caught the hair tie around his wrist. It popped open, flying away from his body. I hadn't noticed that he still wore it. It had just become apart of him. Just like I had.

_"Is that my hair tie?" I pointed to his wrist._

_"Oh, uh yeah. It was on the floor. I figured you'd want it. To put your hair up." He reached for his wrist to take it off, hooking his index finger into it._

_I put up a hand to stop him. "No, um. You keep it."_

I watched the life drain from his eyes as he stopped struggling against the claws. My heart broke. Pain rolling through my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. His eyes were still wide open.

"Dean! No!" Sam shouted out in pain. Lilith laughed out loud, giggling like a child. The sound of the cruelty in her laughter brought me out of my trance. I turned my eyes to her and Sam as she approached him.

"I will end all the Winchester's left in one fell swoop. Your brother, you, and his little wife and future spawn. All of you will burn. Then I'll go outside and end your Daddy. Finally the thorn in our side will be gone."

Sam struggled against her grip.

Dean was right. I should've never come here. Now his sacrifice would be in vain. We were all going to die here.

Lilith brought her hand up, her eyes glowing yellow. Light radiated from her palm outward. It was so bright I had to look away, like staring into the sun.

The light swallowed Sam whole. I closed my eyes tightly. Tears fell down my cheeks and my head was pounding. I couldn't lose him too. This was wrong. This was all wrong.

"What?" Lilith asked, shocked, as the light dissipated.

I opened my eyes. Sam was okay. His hands were in front of his face to block her attack, but he wasn't harmed. He was on the floor, and he slowly stood. As he did I realized I was no longer held either.

He slowly reached for the knife and stood. His eyes met Lilith's. She looked afraid. He lunged for her, and her mouth opened, smoke rolled out of her, into the vents, and out of the house. Her body crumbled as the last bit of smoke left her body. She fell next to Dean.

We had a moment of silence before we both scrambled to him. I fell to my knees and took his head in my lap. "Dean." I whispered. I pulled him up to my chest and pressed my forehead to his like we had done a hundred times before.

This was how it was always fated to be, but I never believed in fate. We had been preparing for this for 6 months but here I was, not believing it. I ran my fingers along his eyelids, closing his eyes. His apple green eyes disappeared from my view for the last time. I would never see the sarcasm in them, and the way they would sparkle after he kissed me.

With his eyes closed he could almost be sleeping. Almost. Except there was no rise of fall of his chest. Just the warm, wetness of blood. I wept over him, holding his body close.

Sam came up behind me, touching my shoulder. I turned to him to see a tear roll down his own face. He lowered himself next to me, wrapping his arms around me. He needed me as much as I needed him. I looked from him to Dean, and I felt sick to my stomach. There was an intense cramping within my belly, and the corners of my vision came to static. "Ah." I cried out, holding my stomach with my free hand. My head pounded, and rolled into a searing, stabbing pain behind my eyes. I closed my eyes.

"Ava? Are you okay? Ava?"

He sounded far away and then I couldn't hear him at all.

My vision was completely gone. I was overcome by the pain in my head, and the cramping in my belly. I could feel myself drowning as I succumbed to the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all thanks so much for reading! I’ve had this fic finished and now it’s finally uploaded (yay!) This is a trilogy, a series in three parts. The sequel is also complete, and now I’m going to work on it. Please check out The Daughter of a Righteous Man! I haven’t started the final part yet, but once the sequel is uploaded I will being weekly (if not more frequent) chapter updates!!
> 
> BTW I read all comments, and I appreciate every view that I get. I love y’all so much! If you ever want to talk, message me or follow me on tumblr at themoonandotherslikeit


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